Relationships help: I don’t know what to do. - Help.com

Perhaps you are codependent. Then a program like Al.Anon. would work well (not A.A. but the relational component for spouses and the like). Was he abusive to you or the children? Was he an addict? Did you ever use with him (if he was an addict). Give us some more concrete information about the situation. I understand it hurt, but I can’t tell you what to do from a feeling.

it’s sad, but there are guys who take advantage of you. Try to forget the question Why he did it? and focus on How you can move on, keep your self busy, focus on what you can do or try to learn something new.

Moving on after a long relationship, especially after being connected to him and his children is difficult, because of the sudden loneliness.

If you are living alone, visit spend time with your own family and friends, another option is tovolunteer or participate in events that would help you feel you are part of a community rather than being on your own. Take care.

I can understand how hard this must be for you. You can’t take care of a family and not become attached. But since the choice is not yours, you have to move on. Maybe it’s time to look for a relationship in which you will be able to create your own family?
Get up, get out and start over. Time really helps. Try to be open and look around you.

Hi J: I’m sorry to learn of your troubles–grief is hard work. From my experience what you are going through is ‘normal grief’. Crying doesn’t feel good but I heard somewhere that tears are actually falling into health.

It sounds like you really invested yourself into this person and his children. I agree with the above–this is a time to nurture yourself; it is not the time to try to find someone else–it is the time to get up, set out and start over as Yaels put it. Go out with your girl friends; find a support group if necessary. Good friends are usually ready and willing to listen over and over again while you pour out your story until it is no longer important to tell it. That is all part of the process of grieving and letting go.

Please give your heart time to heal before you look to another relationship. My experience is one comes out much stronger and wiser thro’ these losses. Grieving is a season of your life-a beginning not an end.

Blessings.

you did the right thing you do`nt nwat a man like that he`s not for u dear so dont` worrie you could howevertry looking for a onther man if you are over your old boyfriend

“Am I supposed to be crazy and jealous and bitch and complain. Seems like that is what guys like.” No, This Isnt What Guys Like! Its more of what they are accustomed to. I dont say this to upset the female population of help.com, just personal experience. If you were as you say you were, it wouldn’t supprise me if came back for you in a year or two. Heres the thing though, dont take him back, hes not worth it. Any guy with kids whos willing to bounce from one girl to the next isn’t thinking what this is doing to the kids. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, don’t feel sorry for him. Feel sorry for the kids. Be comforted in the fact that you did what you felt was the right thing to do.

u carnt worry about him all day wove one i sure he has if u worry about him all day then u wopnt have a life.