guy help: Ok, I’ve got a question about a mans perspective. - Help.com

Hmmm…interesting question. Are you close to any of his buddies? If so, your husband may tell him some desires, etc that he might be less inclined to share directly with you assuming it’s not too off base.

As for me personally, 1 thing I love in a woman is her ability to anticipate my needs/wants. If she is able to guess it and carry it out without my asking I’m really excited about that. Also if the lady is very attentive so that she really takes note of something that I like and does it on her own that’s exciting to. For me this applies to all aspects of a relationship but again, I’m just keeping things vague and rated G for the kiddies. hehe

Hmm, well it’s a little tough not know what you’ve tried. I can do my best to give you some ideas.

Everyone loves being around someone happy and energetic. Someone positive and smiling. Of course I’m not making any assumptions, or calling you boring or anything along those lines. But I know that I for one, find it very sexy and fun being around someone like that.
Like Mastermind mentioned about the woman being able to anticipate what you want - that’s very true. It’s exciting when the lady decides to take the lead.
I hope some if this helps.

I meant to add something else. Maybe try to initiate things when you don’t normally do it. Kind of like a surprise. Sometimes that kind of thing seems to happen around the same times, same places. Try to mix it up a little. That can be fun too.

Personally, I don’t think you are going to find a “one size fits all” approach that is going to work for any of the aspects that you mentioned–physical, emotional, spiritual or mental. Guys are very similar in a lot of ways, but when you try to achieve that kind of intimacy different things are going to work for different people. Therefore, the best way to meet his needs is to really get to know him–and then commit yourself to meeting those needs. This is definitely a two way street…hopefully you found a man that is committed to meeting your needs as you are committed to meeting his needs.

AmandaLynn wrote:
Sir James - yea.. thanks for your advice! Yea, i agree, its good to be able to know someone to the extent that you can anticipate their needs. … and for the most part I do. But - i was just maybe lookin for some “creative” advice.. u know? Im a very createive person and love suprises and the sort - just - we’ve had issues in this area and so in a strange way - im just starting out. Dont konw if that sounds silly. But my hearts good - just wantin to see “whats out there”..lol.

Handcuffs, blindfolds, and whipped cream. ;D

Ok, this is easy from one smalll town girl to another. Keep things FRESH!!! Get it…you love the outdoors, bring it ALL out into the country. Take him on a picnic, bring some blankets, a radio, some massage oil - use your imagination. Go skinny dipping together (watch out for the fish). hehe

If you are daring, bring some rope (use your imagination here), a blind fold (amazing what happens when you take away just one of the five senses), pretend to leave but don’t go to far so you can watch his reaction. Sweetie, as long as you are both willing to explore a little and have faith in each other…nothing is out of the realm of possibility. Get a long long piece of grass/or thin branch and teased him to the point of no return.

Ooooo….the possibilities are endless!

Physically - It seems that people often don’t realize how much the way a woman moves plays into how alluring she is. Take something like belly dancing or poledancing classes; not even for the actual act of dancing, but rather so that you can become comfortable with somewhat curving, sensual motion. After that, just give all of your normal movements a tint of that sensuality. The way a woman walks, the way a woman moves her arms, even the sensuality present in the way a woman moves her facial muscles when she speaks - all of these things can be insanely alluring on a very subtle level.

Stylistically - incorporate into your clothing the “lingerie theory” - i.e. it’s not about what you show, but rather about what you don’t show. Find clothes that you feel really emphasize places on your body without showing them. Things like tops that focus on the shape of the bust but don’t have much cleavage, or dresses that fit the form of the hips and legs but are long enough to keep a man from feeling like he can see what he wants, or even things like a bellybutton ring or a top that lifts just a little higher than your pants that will draw his attention to an area that he wants to see, but then is covered very well by clothing… all these things have a certain allure to them. Basically, if it seems like its so classy that you’re not trying to be sexy, but it clearly can be sexy if you think about it that way, it will have an allure to it.

Also, a very certain type of jealousy can be alluring and actually good for a relationship. I’m not talking about making him think you are or could cheat on him; that could easily have the opposite effect that you want. He just needs to see that other guys are noticing you. Don’t show him this through anything you seem like you could be intentionally doing - i.e. don’t flirt with other guys or tell him about all the guys that hit on you. Rather, once you have that alluring walk and dress down well, go out with him to places where you can be noticed by other men. Pretend that you don’t even see these other men checking you out, but he will definitely notice. Focus on him as though no other man matters to you, and when he sees that you could have plenty of men but you have a heart for nobody but him, then he will be pulled all the more deeply into your charm.

On top of all that, the only advice I have is the very general “be exciting and new”. This applies to all catagories of life. Go out with him to do new social things. Try new food at home and eat out at new places. Encourage him to try new things with you. Be confident and seem excited about finding new areas of life. And, of course, trying new things in bed is always good.

Those are the types of things that I have found alluring about women. I don’t know if your husband is similar, but I hope it helps.

Just be your self and that should be enough. :)

Khalivarsha² wrote:
Physically - It seems that people often don’t realize how much the way a woman moves plays into how alluring she is.

The way a woman walks, the way a woman moves her arms, even the sensuality present in the way a woman moves her facial muscles when she speaks - all of these things can be insanely alluring on a very subtle level.

Can you be more specific about this?