Love help: my girlfriend of ten years committed suicide……………. - Help.com

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
confidential assistance. While other Help.com users are likely to reply
to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help.com
falls under our TOS.

Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

Jesus. Oh my god honey. Why did she do it? I can’t even begin to understand what you’re going through, but it must be hell. You really should see a counselor or psychiatrist. They can not only help you through the grieving process, but they can help you get off the drugs too. I’m not going to preach about drug use, that would be hypocritical of me. I “self-medicate” myself. You NEED to talk to someone though. Please don’t wait. Go soon.

Good luck and big hugs.

I…don’t know what to say. I guess I can’t complain about anything, there are problems like yours bigger than my own. Try calling that number posted above (18002738255), talking to someone will probably help.

Also, pray about this. God can help you through anything.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you are in a lot of pain and nothing we say is going to take it away. I know you are in a lot of pain right now but you are making it worse by turning to the heroin. It is going to kill you. You need to get back on what ever program you were on before. That way you can deal with this. Being high is not going to help you deal with her death.

She would want you to stay clean man. i really hope you can get through this.

Do you have a good relationship with your family? Can you turn to them for emotional support?

getting back to drugs will make you feel much worse about the situation. think about the good times you both shared together. get some help or talk to someone like ppl said up above me. I feel so sorry for you.. but the only way you can and will get through this is talking to someone and getting off the drugs because that makes the problem bigger and worse. call thenumber above, someone can probably help you there or you can look up a psychiatrist. she wouldn’t want you to suffer like this. she loves you a alot and you KNOW she doesn’t want you to kill yourself over it. you will see her again. she gonna visit you and she probably misses u know and doesnt wanna see you suffer. so get OFF the drugs and talk to someone. (like I said 100 times.. drugs will make you feel WORSE and make you suffer more)

don’t worry.. you’ll get through this and feel better about it. I know its hard but you will get through this and dont worry bout it. there are ppl out there that can help you and take u step by step thrugh this situation :]

(((hugs))) :]
you’ll get through it.

I’m real sorry for your lost, I can’t say I know how it feels.
I just hope that you don’t regret going back to heroin now that you lost something special
Think about what your girlfriend would want right now
Do you think she is happy seeing you going back down the road you left with her by your sides.
Try to think of the good times together, it might help you remember her for who she is and why you loved her and why you think she would want you happy and well right now
Think if you were the one that was dead how would you want her to live right now?
Hope you get better
Lots of love!

so sorry to hear of your recent loss.. but hun.. you cant be upset with yourself for grieving.. as grieving is a natural part of healing… so cry… i know that you love her hun.. but instead of taking the drugs to make it through… keep her memory alive… think about the good times that you have had together… all the love that you guys have shared together.. be with people that knew her… that loved her.. and remember that they too are grieving… so you are not alone in it hun… the drugs are only going to make things worse.. pulling you down… you are a survivor of that drug… and you two did it together… keep that in mind.. you did it together… something that you two probably came to a conclusion in believing it to be the best for each of you… dont go back to it… try writing… grab a notebook.. and write down how you feel… let those tears fall… she will always be with you hun… in your heart and mind.. and im sure she is watching over you… wishing the best for you… wanting you to continue the hard work of being sober from the drug.. talk to her… im sure she can hear you.. and keep your eyes open.. and pay attention.. you might just see small clues to her presence being around.. such as things being moved or sounds and smells… lots of hugs hun…

George, i am sorry for the loss. If there could be anything she would want you to do, it is to share your life on Earth– with the living.
Grieve now and tomorrow. In truth, no one knows until when the grieving could take place. But as soon as it is healed, live each day as special as it can be– taking with you the memories of a lost special one. Take care.

For one, heroin won’t help you in the long run. Try to get help for it. And I’m very sorry your girlfriend took her own life. It’s not your fault. There wasn’t anything you could do about it. And it’s horrible that you were the one to find her. Obviously she loved you, and she would want you to be happy and move on. Don’t give up hope, and try to make your life better. It’s okay to be sad and miss her, but know that you can’t change what happened and that it’s not good to worry over things you can’t change. Don’t let it rule your life, as hard as it seems. Make new friends and surround yourself with people that care.

Listen, keeping the “Clean” attitude is what will allow to embrace the moments shared. Simply giving up is not a clear answer or a clouded one. What you need is to morn, keep yourself away from other addicts and reclaim your life. You didnt even expand as to why she commited suicide. You are expressing your feelings more than hers. Do you even know why? If so, what lead you to beleive that she wasnt going to go through with it? These are the things that make you realize you have no control over her decision. So quit blaming yourself. We live, we love we reproduce and we die. This cycle has been in existance since the beginning of time. WERE SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIFE NOT DESTROY IT! I know some of this because im here looking for others input because I have a gun and I want to shoot myself. I have it in my mind that I dont care about the people I affect AT ALL! If she wanted this, she didnt take you into consideration, so dont be a Martyr for “well, what?”. I’m not being harsh because Im an *** that wants to hurt people, im being truthfull and Im not blowing sunshine up your *** like most people. Truth is, I actually care, I can see your pain, but your strong. Come on, getting over heroin is ******* hard! Heroin actually changes your nerves on a biological level to use the drug as a substitute for a missing path of neuro-communication! If you can overcome that, you can do it again and go out there and restart your life. Remember the good times and remove the bad ones… I bet 99.9% of the people here couldnt overcome the addiction… Dont become the statistic either way…

Not easy man. Heroine does help at the beginning. But you already know what the problem is… will you ever be able to stop? How much money are you goin to burn in the meanwhile?

I’ve been clean since end of october now. No substitutive or anything. Not easy man you’ll always miss her. But you WILL learn to live with it. You WILL meet someone else. You WILL fall in love again. And when that happens you want to be clean… and not a self-centered junky (that is what I was).

I wish you all the strength in the world mate

aawww…. the dr’s should have seen the side effects… im sooo sorry hun.. have you yourself been checked for hepatitis? as i know that it is spreadable.. i do believe it is spreadable hun… be sure to be checked…

Know that this person had a mental issue. Even though it may not feel this way, force yourself to remember that your friend did not die to “get rid” of you. They felt they needed to die to get away from themselves (or a situation they could not control anymore), not you. If there was a suicide note, you might want to think about it when you feel they ‘did’ something to you.

Talk to others who knew the person, or others who have experienced the same thing. Strength can be found in numbers. The key is to talk about it and get every emotion — sadness, anger, and others — off your chest.

While your desire will be to stay strong, it is OK to cry. Remember that someone died. It is natural to grieve them just as you would anyone else. The fact that they committed suicide is just an extra factor to your bereavement.

As you slowly come out of the darkness, try to start remembering the good times you had. At first, this will seem to plunge you back into despair and grief. But as time passes, you will look back on these times with some sadness, but happiness too.

Most importantly, try to not think about how they died or their suicide at all. Thinking about it will only make the pain stronger, and the suicide of your friend will most likely show up in your dreams as a sign from your subconscious to drop it. Holding on after the death of something or someone is most unhealthy. Having said that, remember to grieve!

Find a grief counseling center or group if you are having a particularly hard time and have no one to to turn to. It might also help to do this to get a fresh perspective that friends and family of the person who died cannot offer.

While some differ on this idea, many think that staying busy can help move past the grief. While you shouldn’t hide from your emotions by working or staying busy, remaining active can ward off depression and dark thoughts.

My heart grives with you on your lost…if you are ever in need of councle (outside of this site), your local churche/s offer free councling of all sort.

I am so sorry about your loss. Suicide can be particularly difficult to deal with and as you found her I am not surprised that you are choosing going back to your drug use to escape. However, as my co helpers are saying it is not the way. I am posting the number of Cruise bereavement services. Also if you were receiving treatment from a treatment centre do not be afraid to go back and ask for help. This is really a difficult situation and even someone who does not do drugs would have a hard time dealing with it. So, please get help as you will not be able to deal with this by yourself.
Cruise
Day by Day Helpline
0844 477 9400
Open Monday to Friday 9.30am to 5pm
or email us at: (email removed)

it’s great that you’re getting someone to talk to that knows how to properly help you.
stay with it dude, remember that at the end of this, you’ll come out stronger than before. you never know, this could even be what gets you off heroin for good.
after all you’ve had to go through, i think you’re on the way up from now on.
i really hope for the best for you man, and i believe you can get through this.

well it seems to me like you aint stupid. a lot of people would have fallen into the routine of getting loaded 24/7 to deal with it.

so happy to hear that you will be talking to someone who is educated on missing a loved one.. hopefully you will get a lot of answers that you are seeking hun.. leading to maybe an easier grieving process… not meaning that grieving is easy… but with the right answers.. it does help.. remember, you are in our hearts and minds… and we are always here for you if you need us… many hugs… tammy.

I am glad to hear you made it through today. Just keep taking it day by day.

So good to see you a bit of smiling in your voice. Remember to share more (that’s what i am learning too), the more you talk about it, you’d get a better view over the horizon.

hello goeorge, just thinking how you are today. take care. keep us posted.

george197 wrote:
hi lilies,ive been to have some grief counselling earlier today,it went ok.she was very nice and it helped to talk about things.i havent used drugs for 4 days now so im hoping that the drug thing is out my system.im still very sad tho but am getting there.

Well done! I am sending you encouraging thoughts and hope that you will remain off the drugs. One day at a time. Just take it one day at a time.

george197 wrote:
hi lilies,ive been to have some grief counselling earlier today,it went ok.she was very nice and it helped to talk about things.i havent used drugs for 4 days now so im hoping that the drug thing is out my system.im still very sad tho but am getting there.

i’m really happy you’re getting through this dude. glad to hear that counseling helped, it was a good idea to go there this soon. keep up the progress man, you’re doing a dam good job of dealing with this.

just remember that we’re always here if you need someone to talk to or just wanna let off some steam.