My little brother has just died, i don’t think i can cope.
I can’t help but think it was his ex-girlfriends doing because he just was never right after she dumped him, he was always saying to me that he thought he was in love with her. I even loved her like a sister! I know i can’t blame her for his death but i need to find something that can ease the pain. Why did he have to take his own life? Why did he have to leave me?
Since writing this post FutureKind may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. FutureKind is a verified member, has been around for 6 years, 5 months and has 6 posts and 8 replies to their name.
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I’m sure he had his reasons, and he is in heaven now, in a better place (sorry about the cliche!!) and as for his ex, she will, in a way, miss him as well, so she is going through her own pain. I’ve never lost anyone close to me, so i dont know how else i can help you other than tell you im sorry, and deepest sympathies xx
I think that only time and understanding can help ease the pain.
Maybe no-one but your brother will ever know why he did it, but you can always try to understand.
life is just hard, theres no-one to blame or make it any easier. Time will heal itself.
That’s awful,You must be having a lot of different feelings right now. I know it does not seem like it right now,but it will get easier with time.No,you wont forget what happened and you won’t forget him.But you will feel better.After all,he would want that for you.It’s normal and healthy to feel down and wonder,but It wont help to ask why,only he and his maker know these answers.And just because he’s gone,doesn’t mean your f-ship has to end w/ his g-friend.In fact ,she needs you and you need her.
I am soo very sorry for your loss.
Suicide always leaves so many unanswered questions.
You will be okay again one day, just take it one hour at a time and don’t be ashamed to cry, yell, or take some time for yourself. Keeping you in my thoughts, Big Hug from Canada.
So , get together ,have a good cry and when that’s over focus on the good times of laughter and fun.Talk hun,don’t hold it in or you won’t heal.Talk to your parents,councelor and were here for you whenever you need it.Day or night. (( Big Hugs)) to you and all who knew him.
read the above(over and over).. that’s so true. can’t imagine what you’re going through. just be strong and take solace(not that i think that’s easy to do, or that it will help a great deal) in the fact that he chose to do that. it’s not your fault or her fault. be strong,..i dunno..just don’t take it out on yourself
My little brother died many years ago and I will never get completly over, I don’t think that is possible, but I have learned to live. At first you live through one minute at a time, then an hour, then a day, then more and more time passes. You never stop missing him or wishing he was there, but the pain does get less and less. Just make it through today, that’s all you can do.
I’m sorry to hear of your loss.
My Brother-in-law killed himself just about 3 years ago. The pain never goes away. He left behind a wife and two beautiful baby girls. The “why” or “what if” questions will never go away for me. But it does get easier. Cry when you need to, be angry if you have to and lean on friends and family for support. I found what works good for me is when I start to think of him I do my best to not think of how he died, or why he did it, but to think of all the wonderful memories I have of him as a happy person who was full of life. Stay strong.
You’ll be alright… it’s truly a horrible thing that happened to you and your family, and I can’t imagine anything that will make it better except time… people have experienced this all before and I’m sure knowing that isnt comforting on any level, but they made it through, and you will too…
Im sorry, There are so many victims in a suicide. Those left behind feel like walking zombies. Dazed and confused. All the wondering and left to feel so much pain. Wishin you could change time. If only… I have a very good friend who has been missing since Nov 2nd and the police are considering suicide. I wait and cope and try to comfort his daughter.
Your brother took his reasons with him, Im sorry. Who knows what lurks in the hearts and minds of us all to bring us to such a desperate level.
May you and your family know peace and love at this time and may your brother and his spirit find rest and happiness.
R U there?
Just checking back to say Im thinking of you and hope you are finding someway to cope. Your brother was very loved by you. He would be touched to know really how much. I know you have a huge hole in you you and you must hurt so badly. I wish I could help heal your hurt. I have words only to offer but I hope it helps for you to know we are all here in your time of need. Keep in touch if you need help copeing.
Wishing you well each day.
I’ve asked myself the same question a million times over my fathers suicide, “Why did he choose to leave me?” “Why didn’t he think about me?” “Didn’t he know how much I loved him?” “Didn’t he know how much I needed him?” “Didn’t he care that this would cause me unbelievable pain?”
There are more questions then I could begin to type here. With suicide there are always those questions and then there is the guilt, thinking that maybe you could have done more, maybe you could have called more, “maybe” and “if only” become regular parts of your thoughts.
There is also the anger at what others had done to hurt the one you lost. The knowing that they were treated unfairly and the bitterness.
There are no words of comfort in this loss, only pain.
I tried support groups, but it seems all they wanted to do was live in their grief, to mark every single minute of the suicide and wallow in the pain. I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t do that to my Daddy, because regardless of the pain and selfishness that drove him to take his life, I know my father loved me and I know that he wouldn’t want me to live like that.
He wanted better for me, so I live my life the best I can and I take the moments when I’m reminded of his death, when the pain and agony come rushing at me like a frieght train and I cry. I cry for his lost life and I cry for me.
But daily, I choose not to live in his death, I celebrate his life, I remember the things he taught me and I laugh at the lessons I failed to learn. I remember the good times and I remember the twinkle in his eye. I can find joy in his life and I can remember how very much he loved me. I talk about him to anyone that will listen and even to those that don’t want to listen, but I talk about him for me. Maybe that is selfish, but it’s all that I can do.
I try to talk to those that are thinking about suicide, I try to tell them that it is a permenant solution to a temporary problem. I try to tell them how much pain it will cause their loved ones. Hopefully I have done some good. I may never know, but still it is worth it to try.
He didn’t choose to leave me, he had a weak moment.
Your brother didn’t choose to leave you, he had a weak moment.
I know known of this helps you and for that I am sorry, but if you need to talk, I will listen. Please add me as your friend and shout to me any time you feel the need. Post about your brother and I will try to respond to the best of my ability.
You are in my thoughts.
Thank you all for your friendly and helpful advice. I am really trying to take all of it but i just can’t get passed the fact that my darling little brother isn’t here anymore and i can’t cuddle him, argue with him or help him with his problems. I can’t handle the fact that he felt he couldn’t come to me and talk, whatever it was that made him take his own life, must have been going on for a long time and it must have been really deep, he was so happy though…why didn’t i sense something wasnt right??? :(
well you werent to know. people have secrets, and this was one of his. respect his wishes, and just think of all the good times you had with him
Future, even if you had sensed that something was wrong, it doesn’t mean you could have changed it. You can’t second guess yourself now, the grief is enough on it’s own.
im so sorry to hear that
i havnt been in your position so i dont have a lot of words to say but i feel for you and i hope you get better
i lost my little brother too…sadly i never saw him but our stories our somewhat alike…and what i do is focus on other things and maybe that will work..by now i was supposed to have a 7 year old little brother
My little brouther died back in 2006 and I still fell angry about his death people always say stuff about him to get me angry what should I do
My little bro took his own life a year ago today. Your story sounds spot on to mine, in the ex factor. I am sorry for your loss, and for mine. Still cant believe it is real. My whole family is still in shock. I just want to break everything in front of me. I keep thinking that if I can find a place to throw countless beer bottles against a brick wall I will feel a little better.
The whole f’ed up situation has made me question a lot of things I never used to think about. Wondering if there is anything after this plane of existence, or if he is just nothing. Really makes you question your values, and re-prioritize. just so much f’ed up nonsense in life, would really like to cut out all the b/s and just enjoy things.
any way… RIP BKM. Love you, miss you, and will never stop looking for signs that you are somewhere better.
btw bkm 5446….I am sorry you did’nt get the message.
im sorry to hear about the lost of ur brother. they say it gets easier but it never does. i knw because im dealing with the lost of my little brother as well.he was diagnosed with luekemia two years ago and i took care of him for the time he was here. he died of pneumonia 6 months ago and now im raising his now three year old.i understand the pain u feel cause i too feel that pain every second of my life.he was 29 and suffered a great deal and it just doesnt seem fair but i kept my promise and i held his hand until his life ended and i would never wish that on anyone. all u can do is just take it one day at a time.i wish i had a solution for u but as u see, im tryin to find one myself but if u need to talk ill be there for u. im so sorry once again and hopefully some day soon we both can find a way to except our great loss.
i feel for you cos i too lost my little brother but in a very diff way. in fact i indirectly caused the death of my little brother. i never cherised him when he was alive, always very harsh with him though he showered me with his unconditional love many many times. i took his love for granted, i had never bought him anything not even a birthday present, never celebrated his birthday, gave him a lot of stress so much so he ended up with a breakdown. Before he took his life by jumping off a building, he wrote in his diary that life was miserable, meaningless and that he was in agony. i only read it on the day he died. You know, i am a murderer, i killed my own mother’s son, my very close and dear sibling. My mum did not raise him to be killed by me, she did not expect it. i hate myself, i wish i could join him and to live with him in heaven now but i could not ‘cos my child is only ten years old but when i die, i promise i would look for him up there and be a good sister to him. i luv you my beloved brother Peter
From day one,
without knowing it,
I loved you with all my heart.
As I grew older I looked up to you and to no other.
Yes, we fought many of times but you supported,
and encouraged me in everything I did.
You were my best friend and my hero.
At night I miss the sound of your music,
I miss you climbing through the window when you were late.
I miss your comfort and the way you made me feel safe.
I miss our nonsense arguments and all our wrestling matches just to pass time.
I like to remember our times together good times and the bad.
I regret the times I yelled at you when you were only trying to help,
but you know I only did it because you did it to me.
I wanted to do everything you did,
because I wanted to JUST like you!
I miss your smile,
and I miss the way our room smelt of your cologne.
But most of all I miss your reassuring hugs and playful kisses.
I wish I could go back and tell you how I felt,
tell you that I really need you no matter what I said.
I kept your favorite sweater and wear it every time I miss you
like I did when I was little.
I will always love you no matter how long its been,
since the day your life came to an end.
I miss my big brother
Source: Missing Big Brother, Brother Death Poems and Stories http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/deat…
Family Friend Poems
yOU KNOW i JUST FOUND OUT MY BROTHER HAS DIED,OF WHAT i DON’T KNOW. He MOVED TO CHICAGO AND LOST HIS JOB WHEN TWA closed down. He called and ask to borrw some money. My husband had just lost his job, so when he ask my husband yelled out “Tell him to get a job”.
Since then twenty years ago. If tried to call me he would not talk but one time. I sent him pictures he never respnoded. I called him in May his room mate said he was not there. I had a funny feeling si I started to check up on some things I found out he died January 22 of this year. I’ve called funeral homes in Chicago and they said he had no funeral. I hurt so bad He and I were best friends. The only thing I can think was he was cremated. His room mate turned the phone off so I can’t call and ask questions. I will Pray for you. Nancy
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