Love help: my fiance just decided that he needed time to himself. - Help.com

well personally I think him wanting space isn’t a bad idea. I mean marriage is a huge thing and no one wants to make a mistake and marry someone that they aren’t destined to be with. I’m not saying that you and your fiance aren’t soulmates, but ita always good to be 100% sure of your feelings. How old are you two? and are you finantially stable? Don’t let all of this affect your health. Try to busy your mind with other things. No ones life should revolve around someone else, thats just asking for problems.

It’s good that he’s taking time if he thinks he needs it… better than if he’d married you and THEN decided he had some issues to work out. Respect his space and hopefully he’ll take the time to realize how much he treasures you. Use the time to be yourself and plan for a future without him, in case that ends up being a possibility. If he seems to have serious issues, you could also try couples therapy, but it sounds like this is just something he needs.
You’ll make it through!

oh hun, i feel for you… I am thinking of leaving my fiancee and i hope that he realises that it is because i am doing it because i think it is the right thing. I agree with the above, marriage is such a huge commitment and i think that it is something that no matter how much you think about it, when the question is popped it is a bombshell. Once he has figured things out he may feel different but for now you need to think about you and your life… Hope all works out like you want xx

a year really isnt a long time to be with someone, maybe he feels like he’s rushing. the great thing about a good relationship is that you have plenty of time to enjoy the little things along the way. if he’s not ready for the next step, it doesnt mean he’s not happy with you. give him time on his own and then talk to him, letting him no that whatever he decides is ok

well he is keeping me totally confused. one min. he tells me that he is in love with me and he still calls me baby and he calls me all of the time and tells me he loves me when we get off the phone. then he tells me that he wants to be my best friend for roght now. i dont know what im supposed to think

There is a reason why you wanted to get married. At some point in time you must have felt that a life commitment was what you wanted. Same for him.

I think that getting married is one of the most profound decisions any person can make and it mustn’t be taken lightly. When we get engaged, we are agreeing to take the rough with the smooth and are accepting that in the course of a shared life, there will be problems along the way.

Life relationships man that couples have to negotiate and make changes and communicate.
If someone has decided that they need space, it nomally means that they are needing just that, space.

I don’t know how old you are, but my guess is, that if you both have some degree of emotional maturity, then you can work through your problems and be stronger by the end of it.

He must feel he isn’t able to get what he needs for his own life at the moment and is probably really scared that the relationship will stifle him. It sounds like he loves you very much, but just needs time to think and to work out where you are at.

He sounds confused, and I know it is hard, but you have to let him work it out.
If you can, give yourself a break, call some friends, get a haircut..or something, and try and have a bit of fun.
I have been exactly like you and have learned the hard way that sitting around pining doesn’t help and might even be part of the problem…….if you think about it you will know what I mean.
Be strong, let him see that you are, and let him see the person he fell in love with again.
Be decisive about what you expect and what you need…i.e, clear communication…cannot be expected to be a best friend while you are coming to terms with the change in the relationship etc…..
I KNOW it’s hard…but you have to try to be strong.
My partner and I have just been through something very similar and are stronger and happier for it…. :-)
Long term relationships take work. It is totally normal for engaged couples to have a bit of a ‘freak out’ if you didn’t it would probally be alot more difficult to deal with if you were married.
If you can’t get through the problems you are having, then it is for the best and eventually you will be able to grieve and let - go. Learning what you need and don’t need when you do meet ‘the one’.

Take care and be strong x

sorry youare going through this however be glad it isn;t after the wedding. Divorce is messy and expensive and even more painful. Be glad he repected you enough to let you know before you got that emotionally attached and really egan the planning of a life together. He probably does love you- he oves you enough to let you go. Go out and take the time to find yourself with out him. You might find that youare much better off and are a totally different person one who is stronger and better and you may find someone who is a better fit for the new you.

i know its going to be hard and i also know that he wants to get back together. i agree with him about us needing a break. we’ve basically been attatched at the hip throughout the relationship. we really had no time for ourselves. i am actually going out with some friends this weekend to help clear my head. i really do have some great friends.

I’m glad you are feeling better about everything :-)
It’s mad isn’t it, when you are in the ‘high’ stage of being in love it doesn’t just feel totally natural to be joined at the hip, but essential!!
Me and my partner were totally the same, whe we needed a bit of time for ourselves, we went through so many feelings of rejection and insecurity….It was really scary at first…
I hope you have a great weekend and that you get back together and are stronger and better. x

i hope we get back together but theres no use being immature about it. he misses me. he tells his friend that everyday. i really love him and i think our love is strong enough to overcome anything. im really trying to be happy

Sounds like you are doing really well :-) I hope it works out for you. Take Care x