Love help: Will she ever forgive me?

alwayshopeful12

Newark, NJ, US

Will she ever forgive me?

I will try to sum it up but its not easy. Here goes. Together 21 years…married 18 years …2 great kids…a beautiful home…not exactly sure where or when things started to go wrong…i felt something was wrong…i questioned her…are you cheating on me i asked…no,no,no she screamed,how could i even think that let alone say it…months later she comes clean…shes been having an affair for about a year…with more than one other man…and she got a disease…std…i am totally crushed…she asks for forgiveness…wants to stay together as a family…i think its the right thing so i stay and move forward…its not easy…about 6-8 months later i go to talk to a doctor…i am feeling depressed alot…i start taking anti-depressents,anti-anxiety,pain killers,sleeping pills…these medications turned me into a different person…i said and did things in the past year that i never would have ever even thought about…then on 10/01/07…they say i flipped out…literally…i dont remember any of it at all but am told and read in court papers…that i assulted my wife,flipped my truck,died in the accident,brought back to life in the ambulance,fell into a coma,woke up in hospital 3 days later…admitted to my immeadiate family my addiction/abuse of perscription medications…went to rehab in california…came back to what i was hoping would be a supportive wife…but no…she had the shovel in hand and wants to bury me…my life is not worth anything without my family…now its court dates,jail,supervised visits with my kids…i never did anything wrong to my kids in their entire life…i am a great dad…yes, i became addicted / abused those medications, whatever you want to call it…now its divorce,custody,visitation,support,criminal charges,orders of protection,homeless,friendless,jobless(trying to get that back)…believe it or not there is more…i love and miss my family so much…i want to go home to be with my kids and yes with my wife…i love and miss them all so much…why dont i get a chance…Will she ever forgive me??? I AM SORRY!!!

This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 758, 12, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post alwayshopeful12 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. alwayshopeful12 is a verified member, has been around for 9 months, 2 weeks and has 5 posts and 16 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

California, marriage, Love, forgiveness, life, addiction, Bury, Family, Hospital, hand (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (12)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

alwayshopeful12 edited this post 9 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

Will she ever forgive me? I will try to sum it up but its not easy. Here goes. Together 21 years…married 18 years …2 great kids…a beautiful home…not exactly sure where or when things started to go wrong…i felt something was wrong…i questioned her…are you cheating on me i asked…no,no,no she screamed,how could i even think that let alone say it…months later she comes clean…shes been having an affair for about a year…i am totally crushed…she asks for forgiveness…wants to stay together as a family…i think its the right thing so i stay and move forward…its not easy…about 6-8 months later i go to talk to a doctor…i am feeling depressed alot…i start taking anti-depressents,anti-anxiety,pain killers,sleeping pills…these medications turned me into a different person…i said and did things in the past year that i never would have ever even thought about…then on 10/01/07…they say i flipped out…literally…i dont remember any of it at all but am told and read in court papers…that i assulted my wife,flipped my truck,died in the accident,brought back to life in the ambulance,fell into a coma,woke up in hospital 3 days later…admitted to my immeadiate family my addiction/abuse of perscription medications…went to rehab in california…came back to what i was hoping would be a supportive wife…but no…she had the shovel in hand and wants to bury me…my life is not worth anything without my family…now its court dates,jail,supervised visits with my kids…i never did anything wrong to my kids in their entire life…i am a great dad…yes, i became addicted / abused those medications, whatever you want to call it…now its divorce,custody,visitation,support,criminal charges,orders of protection,homeless,friendless,jobless(trying to get that back)…believe it or not there is more…i love and miss my family so much…i want to go home to be with my kids and yes with my wife…i love and miss them all so much…why dont i get a chance…Will she ever forgive me??? I AM SORRY!!!

Help me with: Please Help Me…What is life worth without family…Read my original post titled “Will she ever forgive

alwayshopeful12 edited this post 9 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

Will she ever forgive me? I will try to sum it up but its not easy. Here goes. Together 21 years…married 18 years …2 great kids…a beautiful home…not exactly sure where or when things started to go wrong…i felt something was wrong…i questioned her…are you cheating on me i asked…no,no,no she screamed,how could i even think that let alone say it…months later she comes clean…shes been having an affair for about a year…and she cought a disease…std…i am totally crushed…she asks for forgiveness…wants to stay together as a family…i think its the right thing so i stay and move forward…its not easy…about 6-8 months later i go to talk to a doctor…i am feeling depressed alot…i start taking anti-depressents,anti-anxiety,pain killers,sleeping pills…these medications turned me into a different person…i said and did things in the past year that i never would have ever even thought about…then on 10/01/07…they say i flipped out…literally…i dont remember any of it at all but am told and read in court papers…that i assulted my wife,flipped my truck,died in the accident,brought back to life in the ambulance,fell into a coma,woke up in hospital 3 days later…admitted to my immeadiate family my addiction/abuse of perscription medications…went to rehab in california…came back to what i was hoping would be a supportive wife…but no…she had the shovel in hand and wants to bury me…my life is not worth anything without my family…now its court dates,jail,supervised visits with my kids…i never did anything wrong to my kids in their entire life…i am a great dad…yes, i became addicted / abused those medications, whatever you want to call it…now its divorce,custody,visitation,support,criminal charges,orders of protection,homeless,friendless,jobless(trying to get that back)…believe it or not there is more…i love and miss my family so much…i want to go home to be with my kids and yes with my wife…i love and miss them all so much…why dont i get a chance…Will she ever forgive me??? I AM SORRY!!!

Help me with: Please Help Me…What is life worth without family…Read my original post titled “Will she ever forgive

alwayshopeful12 edited this post 9 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

Will she ever forgive me? I will try to sum it up but its not easy. Here goes. Together 21 years…married 18 years …2 great kids…a beautiful home…not exactly sure where or when things started to go wrong…i felt something was wrong…i questioned her…are you cheating on me i asked…no,no,no she screamed,how could i even think that let alone say it…months later she comes clean…shes been having an affair for about a year…with more than one other man…and she cought a disease…std…i am totally crushed…she asks for forgiveness…wants to stay together as a family…i think its the right thing so i stay and move forward…its not easy…about 6-8 months later i go to talk to a doctor…i am feeling depressed alot…i start taking anti-depressents,anti-anxiety,pain killers,sleeping pills…these medications turned me into a different person…i said and did things in the past year that i never would have ever even thought about…then on 10/01/07…they say i flipped out…literally…i dont remember any of it at all but am told and read in court papers…that i assulted my wife,flipped my truck,died in the accident,brought back to life in the ambulance,fell into a coma,woke up in hospital 3 days later…admitted to my immeadiate family my addiction/abuse of perscription medications…went to rehab in california…came back to what i was hoping would be a supportive wife…but no…she had the shovel in hand and wants to bury me…my life is not worth anything without my family…now its court dates,jail,supervised visits with my kids…i never did anything wrong to my kids in their entire life…i am a great dad…yes, i became addicted / abused those medications, whatever you want to call it…now its divorce,custody,visitation,support,criminal charges,orders of protection,homeless,friendless,jobless(trying to get that back)…believe it or not there is more…i love and miss my family so much…i want to go home to be with my kids and yes with my wife…i love and miss them all so much…why dont i get a chance…Will she ever forgive me??? I AM SORRY!!!

Help me with: Please Help Me…What is life worth without family…Read my original post titled “Will she ever forgive

Arnday the Imbroglio 3 #
West Kirby, 90, GB | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (22 minutes after post)

hmm i dont see why she should be so suprised you lost it, id say that the vast majority of your problems stemmed from her, I dont really see why you want to be with her anyway, she betrayed you

Help me with: Ok you were right

John Doh! 12 #
Independence, KY, US | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (26 minutes after post)

lol yeah.

Help me with: But what happened to Small?

Anonymous #
9 months, 2 weeks ago (33 minutes after post)

Look, it sucks you don’t get to see your kids, but try to work WITH the system on this, and maybe eventually you can work on seeing them more. I would stay away from her. You both have every reason to be mad at eachother, so try to start over. Find new friends and find things that make your life worth living. Enjoy the precious time you have with your kids. Forgiveness and reconciliation is always possible, but in this case it will take time and space. If your ex sees you respecting her boundries and the court boundries she will be more willing to think that you might be a changed man.

Kimmi 22 10 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (40 minutes after post)

Hello:
Wow…I guess you could say you have been thru a lot. I think from what you have told us its pretty safe to say that most of this started with her affair with other men. You were deceived by your wife, and you made the choice to forgive. But it sounds like it broke you down inside, maybe without you even consciously realizing it. So you got depressed and you were put on everything and anything the pharmaceutical companies could give you, and you thought you were doing the right thing so you took what the Doctors prescribed you. Next thing you know you don’t even remember what happened, but you weren’t yourself, how could you possibly be with all the mind altering medication. It will certaintly make you crazy, I know I took anti depressents for about two years. I remember ripping a door off the hinges in my apartment something that I wouldn’t even think to do normally-Thank god I elected to take myself off that awful medication who knows what I would have done next. If I were you this is what I would do, I would try to move on- realize the stem of the problem is this…your wife had an affair with someone else. Someone who loves you would not do that to you. Try to forgive your wife and let go, try to forgive yourself and put your children first before anything. Abide by the laws and work with the court systems be the man that you were to your children before all this happened. Once everything settles with the courts and you know where you stand you can wipe your slate clean and start over again. I wish you all the best and hope that you can see the sunshine thru the dark clouds. :-) Take care and god bless!

alwayshopeful12 edited this post 9 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

Will she ever forgive me? I will try to sum it up but its not easy. Here goes. Together 21 years…married 18 years …2 great kids…a beautiful home…not exactly sure where or when things started to go wrong…i felt something was wrong…i questioned her…are you cheating on me i asked…no,no,no she screamed,how could i even think that let alone say it…months later she comes clean…shes been having an affair for about a year…with more than one other man…and she got a disease…std…i am totally crushed…she asks for forgiveness…wants to stay together as a family…i think its the right thing so i stay and move forward…its not easy…about 6-8 months later i go to talk to a doctor…i am feeling depressed alot…i start taking anti-depressents,anti-anxiety,pain killers,sleeping pills…these medications turned me into a different person…i said and did things in the past year that i never would have ever even thought about…then on 10/01/07…they say i flipped out…literally…i dont remember any of it at all but am told and read in court papers…that i assulted my wife,flipped my truck,died in the accident,brought back to life in the ambulance,fell into a coma,woke up in hospital 3 days later…admitted to my immeadiate family my addiction/abuse of perscription medications…went to rehab in california…came back to what i was hoping would be a supportive wife…but no…she had the shovel in hand and wants to bury me…my life is not worth anything without my family…now its court dates,jail,supervised visits with my kids…i never did anything wrong to my kids in their entire life…i am a great dad…yes, i became addicted / abused those medications, whatever you want to call it…now its divorce,custody,visitation,support,criminal charges,orders of protection,homeless,friendless,jobless(trying to get that back)…believe it or not there is more…i love and miss my family so much…i want to go home to be with my kids and yes with my wife…i love and miss them all so much…why dont i get a chance…Will she ever forgive me??? I AM SORRY!!!

Help me with: Please Help Me…What is life worth without family…Read my original post titled “Will she ever forgive

babacup 5 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (2 hours, 22 minutes after post)

It sounds like you have gone through a lot. It seams your wife gave up on the marriage before all this happen. I don’t think you should be trying save the marriage at this point, you need to work on saving yourself. Work on taking care of yourself and like Kimmi said forgive yourself and her. It will help you move on.

Help me with: Lessons in flying

mom4nutt 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (3 hours, 44 minutes after post)

sorry you are going through this now start to rebuild.
you freaked out okay can;t change what you did but you can change what you do from here on forward.

Play the game, comply with the system do what the courts want you to do

Leave your wife completely emotionally too. wish her happiness everyday out loud even if you don;t want to. what you send out you get back two fold.

Be the dad your kids deserve and need with a Mom who cheats and lies they need you more than ever.

Never say a bad thing about thier mother infront of them admit you don;t get along, admit youare frustrated by a behavior but never say you don;t like her. they take it personally.

Be open and free to allow love into your life. You may mot get a girlfriend for a while you may meet an old man next door in your new place who has a lot to teach you be open to it and everything that comes your way.

Believe that this happened because you are destined for better adn for true happiness and be positive about it. it is a chance for a new beginning and a new life with endless possibilities for you and your kids. as hard as it is be positive and be happy

Help me with: How do you get a post to end?

mom4nutt 4 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (3 hours, 45 minutes after post)

and change your title it is you who needs to forgive her. Who cares what she thinks you DESERVE better

Help me with: How do you get a post to end?

remonaz 5 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (2 days, 7 hours after post)

Damm, I feel 1/100th of how you feel. I’m 23 like you thought I had it all, a fience’ about to graduate college with honors, and a clean record. my fience’ cheated I got drunk had a accident put somone in the hospital, now have a felony and a dwi my fience’ left me and calls me a wrthless criminal and I have to drop out of school to go to jail. I now realize I have no friends and became a burden on my mom who has cancer. It feels like there is no purpose to live but circumstances and mistakes do not define us. Every time I want to die I try to prove to the world that I am strong and can move on from this. Rise above the situation do not become dependant on your wifes love, make her earn your love. you are still the same person before all this went down. be strong and time will heal your heart and court dates. in the mean time work out, read, seek advice, find support groups, never give up.

Help me with: I need your opinion!

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

Love help: Will she ever forgive me? - Help.com

Will she ever forgive me?

Reciprocity (0)

Post Tags (10)

Replies (12)

Invite Others to Help

Help.com Homepage