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Kids Humor
A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.
As you shall make your bed so shall you……………mess it up.
Better be safe than………………………punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the ……………………………..bug is close.
You can lead a horse to water but……………………….how?
A miss is as good as a………………………………….Mr.
An idle mind is……………………….the best way to relax.
Where there’s smoke, there’s………………………pollution.
A penny saved is………………………………….not much.
Two’s company, three’s……………………….the musketeers.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and….you have to blow your nose.
Children should be seen and not…………..spanked or grounded.
When the blind leadeth the blind…………..get out of the way.
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Concerning why love happens between two people:
“One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too.” Andrew, age 6
“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell… That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” Mae, age 9
“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” Manual, age 8
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Things We Can Learn from a Dog
1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your
face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it’s in your best interest, always practice
obedience.
5. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp, and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close
by and nuzzle them gently.
13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady
tree.
17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire
body.
18. No matter how often you are criticized, don’t buy into
the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make
friends.
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What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They’re totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They’re moody.
9. They leave hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: They’re tiny women in fur coats.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is a Dog?
1. Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable
piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away,
but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They are great at begging.
8. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
9. They leave their toys everywhere.
10. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to
give you a kiss.
Conclusion: They’re tiny men in little fur coats.
This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 190, 7, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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