Love help: ok so..i’m kind of with this girl whose dad is an abusive alcoholic. - Help.com

What do you mean that you cant even help yourself?

So what is your abuse history?

don’t give up looking for a job, you’ll get there eventually.

Once you get yourself pulled together (emotionally, job, housing) then is when you can help her. You have to be in the right position to be able to help.

I have a dad who is an alcoholic. I know what your gf is going through, and what she has to live through.

What she needs to understand is there is no reasoning with an alcoholic. No amount of love can conquer the addiction and need for the booze.

Right now you have made the best decision. To move out.

Maybe your gf should get a job too? You can get out and into your own place a lot sooner.

You are a great guy for being so supportive. I really mean this, you are one in a million. Don’t let any amount of crap get to you and change that. Because its a rare thing to find nowadays.

so did u move out & did it help?

Miss RaverB wrote:
I have a dad who is an alcoholic. I know what your gf is going through, and what she has to live through.

What she needs to understand is there is no reasoning with an alcoholic. No amount of love can conquer the addiction and need for the booze.

Right now you have made the best decision. To move out.

Maybe your gf should get a job too? You can get out and into your own place a lot sooner.

You are a great guy for being so supportive. I really mean this, you are one in a million. Don’t let any amount of crap get to you and change that. Because its a rare thing to find nowadays.

I haven’t moved out. Not because i don’t want to. But because i have commitments here that mean i cant afford to move out. I’m looking for a part time job. And i have saved up enough money for a deposit on a house and all the legal fee’s.

Saying this, i know my best decision will be to move out. And this is what i am working towards.

For now, i have learned to deal with the abuse from him. I have a lock on my door and i have now threatened to phone the police to him which scares him alot because he knows he wouldnt be able to handle the hassle of it all on top of everything else.

As much as i resent my dad. I know he is an alcoholic as a way of escape. Just as i used to cut myself as an escape. I have found my way out, and a better way of coping with it all. My dad hasn’t yet, hense the alcohol. I have learned not only to ignor him, but to detach myself emotionally from him. Nothing he can say to me anymore can hurt me. Its taken me about 2months to do. But it worked. And now i’m a strong person.

All i can say is..my dads been an alcoholic since he was about 25. I remember him being an abusive alcoholic for aprox 8years and still is. But after all this time, i’ve learned to rise above it. I’m living with an abusive alcoholic, my father who i once looked up to and respected. And i’m ok. I’m still coping. And i can get through it. Its the hardest thing in the world. But anyone in this situation know this:

It isn’t a hopeless situation. Don’t give up. You can conquer all your fears and be a strong person.