I can’t deal with this pain anymore.
I’m so tired of people not giving me any love. I do so much for people and get nothing in return. Six months ago, I met this wonderful guy. He just got out of an 18 year marriage that wasn’t his fault for ending. Two months after his marriage we met. We were so awesome together, just clicked. He used to tell me that he felt like he knew me forever because it was so easy going with me. He used to brag to his friends about me. It was so good, that after 2 months of knowing me he asked me to move in with him, so I did, thinking it was the right thing to do. But of course I ****** it up because for some reason i’m such an emotional person. Everytime someone talks to me differently or roars at me, or just doesn’t treat me like I should be treated, I get emotional…I hated my career and always wondered when I would get the right one. I felt so bad all the time that i cried everyday and because i lived with him he had to see it. I was lazy because i just was not motivated because my life sucked so bad career wise and money wise. It had nothing to do with him, but for some reason I always thought since he really loved him and cared for me so much that he would always be there for me…But guess what…I was wrong. He thought I wasn’t motivated and lazy and just so emotional that he thought I was a weirdo basically. I’ve been in a slump for like 3 years…i’ve been sick, just don’t feel myself because i worked two full time jobs 3 years ago and got worn down. He broke up with me beacuse of all these reason. I guess he didn’t have strength to help me. He is stressed about his life, and maybe that’s why. We broke up like a month ago and we talked a few times but nothing too big. For the last two weeks I’ve been trying to prove to him that he hasn’t really seen the real me. And I wanted another chance. I used to be so athletic and everything until i got worn down, no one believes me…For the last two weeks i’ve gotten back into shape, also trying to find the right career, got my energy back from taking certain pills. And went to talk to him…i said i would like another chance, and he says why couldn’t you do anything of this when we were together. I said because when you lose the love of your life, you almost have the strength to do anything. And I thanked him for doing this, and hoped that he would give me another chance. It doesn’t look good…I’m so tired of trying for people to see the real me. No one seems to care and I’m so lost in life. I miss him so much and just wish he would give me another chance. If he doesn’t I’m afraid that I will not know what to do…can anyone help me…?
This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 460, 6, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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