girl help: i am a girl who has had alot of problems in my life.

whitesphinxmm

i am a girl who has had alot of problems in my life.

i hide it well on the outside but i’m dying on the inside from all of the crap that i keep bottled up. when i was a little girl i was molested for 4 years straight. when i finally came out with it a couple years later the guy got off scott free. during that time i didnt have the best relationship with anyone aside from my mother(who’s been through similar problems). my step dad used to beat me and by the time everything finally started going well the only true father figure i had (my great grandpa) died of a heart attack. The story doesn’t end there. When i was 13 i was betrayed by my only friend and cond into being rapped by an 18 year-old i didn’t know. It happened again with a math tutor a year later. and again after someone slipped me a ruffy at a get together i didn’t plan to go to in the first place. I’ve tried talking to counselors about this but they all say im primicuous but i never asked for any of this to happen. I’ve been suicidal for years now because no one seems to listen or want to help (or they don’t know how). Almost everyone i’ve ever cared about has either gave up trying to help me or they get mad and blame me for my problems. i don’t walk around the ghetto in hoochie shorts. i am actually pretty normal when you look at me. you might even say i am happy-go-lucky. i try so hard to stay positive and keep my head up but it gets harder everyday. lastnight i took a hand full of sleeping pills. i’ve made suicide attempts before but i always backed out at the last second for fear of hurting those around me. Last night was the first time i was 100% ready for death. i’ve lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. The only reason i’m still here is because my boyfriend stopped me in the process. I’m still a little concerned about those around me,, but i don’t know how to deal with the pain. i used to cut myself and the count built to 250 before i stopped most of the scars have faded with time and sun but the pain remains. I can’t afford a visit to the doctor (my insurance ran out last year when i turned 18) so i can’t get anti-depressants. i tried them once but they just seemed to make it worse everyday. I have become dependant on Marijuana but i have cut back significantly. it seems to calm my nerves so i don’t cut or have thoughts about it. but when i’m sober i cry all the time. how do i make all of this stop? is there anything that can help besides a bullet? please someone…anyone. i don’t want to take anyone down with me. Someone help me not be sad anymore.

This open post was written 7 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 200, 15, 11 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post whitesphinxmm may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. whitesphinxmm is a verified member, has been around for 7 months, 3 weeks and has 2 posts and 1 replies to their name.

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Loving_it 7 #
Bloomfield Hills, MI, US | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (24 minutes after post)

Well, you have a boyfriend, right? You should talk to him about your problems, I’ve found that talking to people, even random strangers about your problems really help.

Help me with: Need very good suggestions for helping someone stop cutting

Forsaken Reject 2 #
Grifton, NC, US | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (26 minutes after post)

I’m probably not the best person to reply to this, but I say you’ve gotten past those years in the past, and your still living now, and think about your boyfriend, he should be there for you, he stopped you from the suicide right? also, do you think you may have a disease? that can cause a little trouble or strife. Most of us care here, and I’m sure your boyfriend does.

Help me with: TIPS ON PUMPING GAS (Good information)

Pinky 4 #
Castro Valley, CA, US | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (28 minutes after post)

Hmm. Something’s obviously wrong with the counselors you’re seeing. Is it possible for you to go see a professional psychiatrist instead? And talking to your boyfriend and using him as life support is also a good idea.

I know life sucks for you right now, and everything seems pretty dang hopeless, but life will eventually get better. You’re at the lowest of low right now, and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Goodfella 46 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

I don’t have an answer for you , I wish I did , I’ll keep you in my prayers.

Help me with: Has anyone heard anything from…..brokenwings don”t fly ?

Goodfella 46 #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (46 minutes after post)

You need a reputable Doctor to talk to , that is for sure , these others have done you no good it seems.

Help me with: Has anyone heard anything from…..brokenwings don”t fly ?

miskand #
US | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (47 minutes after post)

Ma’am, I am not a professional, neither am I the person with the answers to all of your problems. And I don’t know if you will believe this or not, but there is only one source of happiness, and I beleive that it is not a mere coincidence that I am on this site, even though I typed it in randomly because I am bored, but I happen to feel a bit hopeless myself, even though I can’t begin to imagine the trauma you are going through. If it seems like I am ranting…promise yourself that you will read the rest of this even if you have already decided not to take it seriously. The one and only source of happiness is the Lord Jesus Christ. And YES, it is possible to have burdens and problems, and still be happy and rejoicing. If you chose to believe this you will be doing yourself a big favor, because no matter how many counselors you go to, or how many psychiatrists you speak to, or even how many pastors you consult, you will get a million different answers, and a million potential solutions, with many of them holding no bearing at all. “In the world you will have tribulation.” These were the words of Our Lord, if you chose to believe it not, they apply to your life and everyone around you. And there is an automatic end to life as we know it; have you considered the potential of this idea: when you die, there is a possiblity that things can get worse. The possibility that things can get worse after death arises from our own deeds on this earth, this is why I say, at all costs, avoid harming yourself, not only are you cheating yourself out of life in a HEAVEN, but you could be the source of anguish to those who really love you if you take yourself away from them this way. Now, getting help from psychiatrists and counselors will help, but the real solution is not in their hands….make an attempt to find a church and make an attempt to know God, and he will carry you through your burdens. PLUS, what have you got to lose in trying what I say even if you don’t believe that there is potential in it?!

Ma'am, I am not a professional, neither am I the person with the answers to all of your problems.  And I don't know if you will believe this or not, but there is only one source of happiness, and I beleive that it is not a mere coincidence that I am on this site, even though I typed it in randomly because I am bored, but I happen to feel a bit hopeless myself, even though I can't begin to imagine the trauma you are going through.  If it seems like I am ranting...promise yourself that you will read the rest of this even if you have already decided not to take it seriously.  The one and only source of happiness is the Lord Jesus Christ.  And YES, it is possible to have burdens and problems, and still be happy and rejoicing.  If you chose to believe this you will be doing yourself a big favor, because no matter how many counselors you go to, or how many psychiatrists you speak to, or even how many pastors you consult, you will get a million different answers, and a million potential solutions, with many of them holding no bearing at all.  "In the world you will have tribulation."  These were the words of Our Lord, if you chose to believe it not, they apply to your life and everyone around you.  And there is an automatic end to life as we know it; have you considered the potential of this idea: when you die, there is a possiblity that things can get worse.  The possibility that things can get worse after death arises from our own deeds on this earth, this is why I say, at all costs, avoid harming yourself, not only are you cheating yourself out of life in a HEAVEN, but you could be the source of anguish to those who really love you if you take yourself away from them this way.  Now, getting help from psychiatrists and counselors will help, but the real solution is not in their hands....make an attempt to find a church and make an attempt to know God, and he will carry you through your burdens.  PLUS, what have you got to lose in trying what I say even if you don't believe that there is potential in it?!

This account has been deactivated.

RC 2 #
Jacksonville, FL, US | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (53 minutes after post)

WOW,you’ve been through alot,you must be very strong and quite an inspiration to
the people you encounter.somehow you are gonna make a great role model for younger
people,its nice that you have found this site,you can help so many.myself not being the sharpest tack in the box i certainly don’t have your answers,,but you will find them,your to strong to let this get you.find time for yourself to focus on you,and continue to help others with their problems.enjoy the journey and don’t overwhelm yourself with the destination.you will get their.your a survivor.

Help me with: Mr mccain,so lookin for clarification,what was the keating 5 hearing about?

xselfyx 5 #
Bloxworth, D6, GB | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour after post)

you have been through alot here and the main thing is to remember it aint your fault. if u like, i am happy to listen to you, get it off your chest, i find you can say much more to a stranger. especially when it isnt to their face. you are a strong person it seems to still be fighting. remember who is in the wrong, all those people who hurt you. and those counsellors dont deserve their job. all they are doing is laying the blame on the easiest target. you. dont let that get to you. remembr also, that because many people have hurt you in the past, doesnt mean u deserve to go on hurting. try to control the marijuana, and cutting as u know will only leave scars, and doesnt help one bit. you need to get a proper psychologist. but then that all depends on wether u can get the insurance. i myself am a brit so i dont know how this works. but i think sorting out ur insurance so u can get a GOOD therapist will help you alot. also, dont be afraid to let it out. talk to your bf about it. and feel free to send me a shout anytime. my ears are open, and non judgemental. good luck and wish u well

Help me with: lucid dreaming.

pollyanna 0 #
Nantes, B5, FR | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 13 minutes after post)

You can learn to meditate for free at Project-meditation.org You can ask for healing emotional trauma. I know it may not be easy but try writing down everything in your life that you are thankful for - it may help you to change the state of your mind. You can have a great future - I hope you choose to and I wish you happiness and joy in life, Pollyanna

Help me with: I understand what it’s like to struggle and suffer as I once did.

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InfoPRO 29 #
An Undisclosed Location | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (3 hours, 33 minutes after post)

Begin helping others and you will find healing……….
in YAHSHUA HAMASHIACH name.

Help me with: Confessions of a Self Harmer!

JoshuaMa2 1 #
Independence, MO, US | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (9 hours, 34 minutes after post)

Go to www.thesecret.tv/. Its about the law of attraction. I could be a life changer. Bad things happened to good people. Surround yourself with people who are in or have been in your current situation. They know how to cope with the problems. But if you want to change the things happening to you and bring back happiness its not too late read up on the secret

Help me with: Has anyone ever got a personal grant from the govt other than school.

JoshuaMa2 1 #
Independence, MO, US | 7 months, 3 weeks ago (9 hours, 35 minutes after post)

sorry thats not i could be a life changer but it could be a life changer

Help me with: Has anyone ever got a personal grant from the govt other than school.

carolina_7_ #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (5 months after post)

I have been through the same thing…molestation, even passing out one new year’s day and waking up w/o my clothes. i think we become ****** up as we get older because we deny the truth to ourselves as it happened, after it happened - we know something is not right, but we don’t want to confront it face to face, so it stays in the back of our minds unresolved. There’s an emptiness inside that fills with sadness and anxiety, an innocence we think we lost forever. there’s a song that says innocence is never lost; it just needs to maintained. This sadness and anxiety, i think, comes from loneliness despite all the people we have around us. Truth is, accept that you’re not alone. Love fixes everything - love for yourself, your love for your boyfriend and his for u, ur love love for your mother and hers for u, God’s love for u and every SINGLE human being. Be a victim no longer - there’s no need to search for the light at the end of the tunnel, you have the power to make the tunnel disappear. God’s love and light are ALWAYS there, in everything we see and do. We are the ones who turn our backs on it, we choose not to see it. When u change the way u look at things, the things you look at change. Practice this a little, practice self-loving thoughts and actions.

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whitesphinxmm 0 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (5 months after post)

so i wanted to thank everyone for their support and to let you know that i am doing much better…as for the boyfriend..that didn’t turn out so well but i am on a better path now and loving every minute of it thanks to a dear friend of mine. just wanted to let you know that your words or wisdom really helped. thank you!

Help me with: cutting.

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i am a girl who has had alot of problems in my life.

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