friends help: I have been in a wheelchair sence I was twelve. - Help.com

i am sure that when you go to college, people are much more mature there than they are in school, you should make lots of friends!

the best thing you can do is be nice, but also be yourself and try making conversation with people

i hope you make some friends very soon

Try not to focus on making friends… try to focus on being a good friend! The more open and friendly you are to others, the more they will want to be your friend. My best friend in college was the first girl to come to my door and introduce herself. Unfortunately there will be people who shy away because you have a disability… but that will more than likely be the minority. Most people in college are very open minded!

Mike19, what do you think people want from you? Being someone’s friend is about what you can do for them, it’s about how you make them feel. My best frineds in life are few, but they are the few that help remind me of the kind of man I strive to be everyday. Being around the wrong people for the wrong reasons isn’t going to make you feel better. Decide who you are, and who you want to be, then find people that both support you in achieving your goals, and challenge you to do better. It’s not quantity, but quality of the people you surround yourself with. Be yourself, that will attract the people that matter, don’t try to impress, you end up having to keep up a gimmick.

first of all, I don’t think being in a wheelchair takes your personality away, so if you’re a very nice person and likes to have many friends then I don’t see why not. I know the problem is not that you’re not a good friend and I think, and forgive me to make assumptions, that it is because it’s hard for other people to see pass the “difference” at the beginning, I’ll take a lot from you to prove them you’re more than that guy on the wheelchair but I’m sure once people pass that they’ll see you from what you truly are.

Oh my gosh…don’t say that! You’re just as valuable as anybody else in society; we were all created equal and never forget that. Can I suggest maybe staying in touch with your high school friends using Facebook in the first instance, especially if you’re going away to college? It would be a shame to lose touch with them completely, and from what I’ve seen, everybody that age seems to have a profile there.

In terms of college life, just get out and mingle as much as possible. Join all the clubs and societies, go to the student nights, do all the regular stuff. So what if you’re in a wheelchair? You’re still human and have the same rights and needs as everyone else.

Remember that, with friends, it’s all about quality and NEVER quantity. I can count my best friends on a few fingers. The kinds of people who meet you and don’t want to know you because of you being in a wheelchair, are not true friends anyway, so why worry about them? Sure, you’ll probably have to go that extra mile to get noticed, because people think of a wheelchair as inconvenience, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t and won’t get noticed. People are a lot more mature and broadminded at college.

The best advice I can give is to focus on always being a nice person and caring for others as you’d wish to be cared for yourself and just watch how many friends come your way. It really is that simple. True friends love us unconditionally and no wheelchair, race, religion or skin colour on Earth will intervene with that, ever.

Also, you seem to have a lovely personality and also appear very personable and down to earth. I’m sure you’ll be just fine and in a few years will be wondering what all the fuss was about!

Add me as a friend for starters…and feel free to shout me anytime. I pray that everything works out for you buddy.

Love n hugs,
Farah :)

Hey Mike19, don’t think people don’t want to be your friend…thats just not true. But also dont try too hard either. Making friends when you have a disability is a little different than those without, that is understandable and for that I would say sorry to you that the world is not a better place.

I watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition about a young man named Patrick Henry, he was born with no eyes,(not blind, no eyes). Turns out he became a musician, played in the band, composed music and went to college at the University of Louisville. He was an inspiration to all those around him because he said “he wasn’t disabled, but able” to do what he set his mind too. They have even named the band practice field at UL after him. I say this to let you know that it is harder to be in a wheel chair. There are some restrictions to what you can do. But as Patrick did, he found out inside himself what brought joy and happiness to him and began to pursue.

Take some time…find what your dreams are! People gravitate toward positive people that have direction. Look deep inside, find out what makes you tick, go after it with a passion, you will find many friends along the way.

There are some lovely responses from my co-helpers and all I do is echo what has been said. Your wheelchair does not and cannot define who you are. It is just a wheelchair made of man made materials. It is who you are that matters. No one ever runs away from good person. Those who only see your chair are shallow. Also kids are kids and would not have had the maturity to appreciate who you were. So let the past go and work on being the best person you can be and you will probably find that you have more friends that you can handle!

well you shouldnt put yourself down by saying:
I realize im not really anything that anyone wants
thats a horrible thing to say about yourself, instead you should focus on your good aspects. And you shouldnt blame anything, and not the wheelchair either, lingering in past regrets like an accident wont get you any friends.
and you shouldnt try to make friends through pity, either. find someone that can respect you for who you are. I think its admirable that you keep going even with a handycap. And people can be cold, but you shouldnt let that get to you.

I think what you might need is a new view on things. If you keep a positive aspect, people are sure to see you and reach out to you. Just be open with yourself and those around you.