Love help: I wrote a song.

The Astro-Man

I wrote a song.

What Do I Have to Give?

(Verse I)
I’ll be your knight in shining armor
but I can’t ride a horse.
I’ll be your pioneer
but I don’t know the course.
I’ll be your handsome stranger
but I haven’t got a gun.
I’ll be your liberator
but I don’t know how to run.
No I don’t know how to run.

(Chorus)
And is it time for me
to pack my things and go?
Or can I still have
the girl who I love so?
Is it time for us
to go our separate ways?
Or do you and I
have just a few more days?

(Verse II)
I’ll be your sole provider
but I don’t know how to farm.
I’ll be your lone survivor
but I can’t weather the storm.
I’ll be your Elvis Presley
but I am no king.
I’ll be your wishing genie
but I can’t give you anything.
No I can’t give you anything.

(Verse III)
I don’t have much to give you
but that’s not stopping me
because I’ve got a song and I’ve got a guitar
to tell you what you mean to me.

This open post was written 9 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 417, 26, 10 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post The Astro-Man may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. The Astro-Man is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 2 months and has 65 posts and 1,612 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

Folk, rock, Love, Blues, music, song, girl, writing, Creative writing, Songwriting (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (26)

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The Astro-Man changed the tags on this post: they were "elvis presley, Horse, Love, Knight, Weather, genie, girl, farm, Storm, armour" 9 months, 2 weeks ago.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

bhumikavat #
New Delhi, 07, IN | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

great

This account has been deactivated.

coolgirljess94 1 #
West End, M4, GB | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

Very good song.. i wish tht i could hear it sung!! =]
is it for someone?

Help me with: Do you like hollyoaks?

PersonalPandaParty 85 #
Titusville, FL, US | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

That’s pretty good. It sounds like…”I want to give you the whole wide world, but I can’t afford that big of a gift.”
Would that be the correct mood to the story?

Help me with: Will you read my new story and offer up a possible title?

The Astro-Man 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (24 minutes after post)

PersonalPandaParty wrote:
That’s pretty good. It sounds like…”I want to give you the whole wide world, but I can’t afford that big of a gift.”
Would that be the correct mood to the story?

Yes, that’s exactly it.

coolgirljess94 wrote:
Very good song.. i wish tht i could hear it sung!! =]
is it for someone?

Yeah, I wrote it in lieu of a girl and hope to sing it to her once I get the chord structure and melody down. Maybe I’ll find a mic and record it and upload it on MySpace or something like that.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

The Astro-Man edited this post 9 months, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »

I wrote a song.

(Verse I)
I’ll be your knight in shining armor
but I can’t ride a horse.
I’ll be your pioneer
but I don’t know the course.
I’ll be your handsome stranger
but I haven’t got a gun.
I’ll be your liberator
but I don’t know how to run.
No I don’t know how to run.

(Chorus)
And is it time for me
to pack my things and go?
Or can I still have
the girl who I love so?
Is it time for us
to go our separate ways?
Or do you and I
have just a few more days?

(Verse II)
I’ll be your sole provider
but I don’t know how to farm.
I’ll be your lone survivor
but I can’t weather the storm.
I’ll be your Elvis Presley
but I am no king.
I’ll be your wishing genie
but I can’t give you anything.
No I can’t give you anything.

(Verse III)
I don’t have much to give you
but that’s not stopping me
because it’s only you who
can can make me feel so free.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

PersonalPandaParty 85 #
Titusville, FL, US | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (33 minutes after post)

That a good and somewhat funny message. Reminds me a bit of the Beatles style. Say something serious, with a somewhat humorous message.
Two thumbs up from a fellow songwriter.

Help me with: Will you read my new story and offer up a possible title?

The Astro-Man 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (35 minutes after post)

PersonalPandaParty wrote:
That a good and somewhat funny message. Reminds me a bit of the Beatles style. Say something serious, with a somewhat humorous message.
Two thumbs up from a fellow songwriter.

Yeah, basically I was taking cliche conventions of ‘love’ and twisting them around because, honestly, I can’t do much of anything and I don’t have much of anything, but I sure as hell have fallen for this girl.

Thanks much.

One question: The third verse feels unfinished. Any tips or ideas?

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

PersonalPandaParty 85 #
Titusville, FL, US | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (37 minutes after post)

Maybe talk about ‘I can’t give you give gifts, or shiny rings. But I’ve already given you my heart…’

Help me with: Will you read my new story and offer up a possible title?

The Astro-Man 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 2 weeks ago (54 minutes after post)

I already used loads of cliches in the first two verses. I don’t think I want to give my heart, as it’s been given so many times before in music.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

Gods Ga Girl 1 #
Homerville, GA, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 51 minutes after post)

This is a reallly good song it sounds like you are saying just take me as I am I have nothing more than me so take it it is awsome so thanks for letting us read it .

Help me with: When you think of love and peace waht do you think of or who do you think of this is kinda just a random question but I hope

The Astro-Man 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 54 minutes after post)

Gods Ga Girl wrote:
This is a reallly good song it sounds like you are saying just take me as I am I have nothing more than me so take it it is awsome so thanks for letting us read it .

I’d much rather let you hear it, but I haven’t got the means to do that. Yet.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

Anonymous #
9 months, 1 week ago (3 hours, 29 minutes after post)

i really like that. i feel that way sometimes with my gf

Forsaken Reject 2 #
Grifton, NC, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (4 hours, 3 minutes after post)

hm… giving instruction or a tad bit of advice to an authors own writings/song is hard, if you don’t know there mood… but PPP said it so its easier :P

eh, my little idea of an addition, maybe it’ll help you think of something else :P

‘as long as I feel this way,
and as long there is time to spare,
I will gladly open my arms,
and welcome you in (t)here’

Help me with: Advice on what to do next…

whitelily 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (5 hours, 7 minutes after post)

thats really sweet

Help me with: lonliness.

Barbyman 30 #
Liston, 02, AU | 9 months, 1 week ago (6 hours, 10 minutes after post)

wow 30 years ago you would have made millions with this song typical beatle style or beach boys get some crazy music to it Techno its got to be Techno….very good.

Help me with: help on lyrics please

angelinwaiting92 0 #
New Haven, CT, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (7 hours, 54 minutes after post)

The lyrics are great I would love to hear it.

The Astro-Man 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (8 hours, 22 minutes after post)

slimline2 wrote:
wow 30 years ago you would have made millions with this song typical beatle style or beach boys get some crazy music to it Techno its got to be Techno….very good.

Well, actually I’m pulling more inspiration from ’60s folk and blues like Richie Havens, Micah P. Hinson or Neil Young than ’60s pop. But that’s hard to tell from lyrics alone. Thank you, nevertheless.

angelinwaiting92 wrote:
The lyrics are great I would love to hear it.

Hopefully sometime soon you will.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

The Astro-Man edited this post 9 months, 1 week ago. Read the previous text »

I wrote a song.

What Do I Have to Give?

(Verse I)
I’ll be your knight in shining armor
but I can’t ride a horse.
I’ll be your pioneer
but I don’t know the course.
I’ll be your handsome stranger
but I haven’t got a gun.
I’ll be your liberator
but I don’t know how to run.
No I don’t know how to run.

(Chorus)
And is it time for me
to pack my things and go?
Or can I still have
the girl who I love so?
Is it time for us
to go our separate ways?
Or do you and I
have just a few more days?

(Verse II)
I’ll be your sole provider
but I don’t know how to farm.
I’ll be your lone survivor
but I can’t weather the storm.
I’ll be your Elvis Presley
but I am no king.
I’ll be your wishing genie
but I can’t give you anything.
No I can’t give you anything.

(Verse III)
I don’t have much to give you
but that’s not stopping me
because it’s only you who
can can make me feel so free.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

The Astro-Man 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (8 hours, 26 minutes after post)

The last two lines of verse three have been fixed.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

Forsaken Reject 2 #
Grifton, NC, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (3 days after post)

ah… I like that myself, better than before.

Help me with: Advice on what to do next…

NothingMore 4 #
Biggs, CA, US | 9 months ago (1 week, 1 day after post)

I like it.

Help me with: Family problems.

{Felicity} 124 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months ago (1 week, 2 days after post)

Beautiful,really :) I know talent when I see,hear it.

Help me with: Hi Everyone, just letting my friends know Im feeling better , slowly but surely.And requesting your vote on my wish on ‘Greedy

The Astro-Man 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months ago (1 week, 3 days after post)

I can’t seem to come up with a good melody & chord structure for this song. Hmm.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

{Felicity} 124 #
An Unknown Location | 9 months ago (1 week, 3 days after post)

Wish I could help,I know nothing about that type of thing.I love to sing and my son plays the guitar by ear.Good Luck

Help me with: Hi Everyone, just letting my friends know Im feeling better , slowly but surely.And requesting your vote on my wish on ‘Greedy

Tictactomm 1 #
Edmonton, AB, CA | 9 months ago (1 week, 3 days after post)

Very nice Astro. Kind of an “I’m Your Man” L Cohen feel to it…

Help me with: “I reject your reality and substitute my own.”

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I wrote a song.

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