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is it worth it to tell people my secret.
I am either a lesbian or bi, i haven’t told anyone at all. should i start to tell people? i know if i do then everyone will talk about me and treat me differently. this doesn’t really bother me, i can take it, but i would rather not have to deal with it. i feel bad around my friends because i think they deserve to know. i didn’t want this, but i’m stuck with it.
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Your sexuality is your personal choice. So is the decision to make it known. The world is not perfect and some people will treat you differently. If you have a friend that you can trust that is a good place to start.
well like peotictruth said, Its your choice and not one any of us should decide lightly. If you do you need to consider the harsh reality, that todays society is populated with a few people who grew up with less acceptance bred in their hearts, and that can pour over onto people and beliefs that they dont exactly see eye-to-eye with. But If your sure this is who you are, you shouldnt have to change yourself to fit in. And I hope your friends can respect your desision enough to at least understand it, even if they might not agree with it. As long as theyre your friends thats all the matters.
dont be discouraged, This is you. and you should be happy about it
I am probably one of the most biased person you will come across against homesexuality and I have nothing against homosexuality. If you respect others as you believe they should respect you, then you will recieve the respect you diserve. However, If you make it a huge deal that everyone MUST know and make it some kind of theme to draw attention, then people will treat you like a class clown that is looking for attention. The fact that you are homosexual should be just a peice of trivia about yourself, nothing more. If you treat it as a characteristic about you, then people will respect you.
Homosexuality is not a big deal, so don’t make it one.
you should definitly tell some one and talk to them about it. Im coming from a Christian perspective here. so your probably thinking im going to condem you or something but im not. u can take or leave what i say, but what is really going on here is that your struggeling with homosexuality which is a sin. similar to me, Im a guy who struggles with Lust. Lust is a sin just like homosexulaity. there is really no difference a sin is a sin. so im not trying to point the finger at you and say “sinner” or anything like that because im in the same boat you are. you just have to struggle with it and over come it (if you really care that is) You probably dont belive in sin and all that stuff but if ur interested in more of what i have to say let me know. i’d be glad to talk to you.
i was like in your situation and i still am to some extent. i just recently came out to my best friend and i told her i was bi. i felt soo much relief telling someone, like a huge weight off my chest. at least now i dont feel so fake around her. she knows the real me and she accepts me for who i am. she doesnt treat me any different. i dont feel like it is necessary to come out to everyone.i dont need the drama. i only told her becuase she is the one i love, my best friend and very trustworthy. now at least she knows i am bi, and if she wants to take the friendship any further then its up to her, at least i have openned myself up to her. i didnt tell her my feelings for her. i didnt want to take it that far. and i am just like you too, a bit undecided about wether i am bi or lesbian. i decided to come out to her as bi first, i figured its probably less of a shock than telling her i am lesbian. and i am not so sure if i am completely shut towards guys anyways. hope this help. if you got any questions for me, just ask, ill be more than happy to answer them. =) (i am 16 btw)
that is helpful. the one i am wanting to tell is also the girl i have fallen for, but the problem is that in terms of friendship we arn’t really that close. i have been trying to strengthen it before i come out and say it. i think i’m just about ready, but i’m not sure. i guess my main delema is that i don’t have any close friends to tell. just the people i hangout with at school, i think i should fix that before i do anything else. sometime before school gets out is my goal. i’m 15.
is says my account was deactivated, i just changed it.
hmm.. how long have you been friends with her?
erm, off and on for about three years
well, my friend who i came out to has been my friends for five years so i really trusted her and she already knew me for a long time. i came out the her because our friendship was pretty strong.
the way i see it, its gonna be up to you to think through this. you can wait and be patient to allow the friendship between you two to grow stronger. how long this may take depends on how open you are with her and how open she is with you. dont force anything when trying to build your friendship stronger. everything should be in its due time. then once you two have a stronger friendship, its a bit safer to tell her so that she doesnt reject you and doesnt want to talk to you anymore or something like that. plus, you guys get to know each other better and be closer by building a good solid freindship. she can be your close friend.
however, you can also go ahead and tell her now that you are starting to get to know her. you run into a bigger risk of her maybe backing away from you without really knowing you that well. but that depends on her view points towards lesbianism/bisexuality. it would be nice if you told her from the beggining too so that she knows what she is dealing with and realizes that there may be a possibility of a futher relationship between the too of you. but i dont know about taking this route. personally i found it best to wait. it was really hard but at least she is my bff right now and knows my secret and accepts me the way i am. whether it may go further between the two of us, i dont know.
nonetheless, i believe that if there is a true attraction from her part towards you, everything should flow smoothly. =)
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