life help: So say there’s this girl who thinks she’s a failure - Help.com

if people are telling her this… its a shame because once you start believing these rude things.. its hard to ever believe other wise.. the only suggestion that i can give you is to keep reassuring her… that she is a person.. and she deserves to believe what you see…

my ex husband was abusive to me.. for ten years… and i found that the beatings were easier to take over the criticism any day.. because the pain of the beating went away… but the criticism stayed… and although i have been away from him for more than 4 years… i still suffer with the words that cut me so deep… i have a boyfriend who tells me every day that im beautiful and im nice and caring. and other stuff too.. but from hearing every day … 7 or 8 times a day for ten years.. you tend to believe what you were told… so i do know where you friend is coming from… and i always have negative thoughts or words back to my boyfriend when he says that im beautiful.. but only because.. its really hard to believe.. and its something that im still working on… 4 years later… so its not going to happen over night… just be persistant.. but if she asks you to stop… dont push the issue… until the next time… lol..

you are welcome hun.. keep reassuring her… but dont seem to be too pushy.. when she asks you to stop.. stop but only for the moment… but by reassuring her… it will help her.. i promise…

keep reassuring her, let her tell herself that she can do anything that she put her mind to (she needs to do this at least ten(10) times for the day) and find out fun stuff that she likes to do and do them with her, also find out what she is good at and encourage her to excel in this and show her other persons who are doing well in the same thing that she loves, but all this will take some time. I know i have been thru it

i personally want to have someone around me who is upbeat and makes things fun… so because i suffer with depression… being around someone else with depression really does have a way of affecting the way i feel… so im sure its the same with her…

well hun.. i have to run to the store quick.. but ill be back in a bit…

being with another person who is depressed gets to you… because you can sense their down side.. and some how.. it can actually bring you down as well… i dont know how to explain it… i guess.. if you look at it in this way… if someone you knew was to win the lottery.. you would be sooo excited yourself… right? so think of it in that way..

right

Have her do something that will make her feel uselfull and full or worth. maybe a charity or tutoring after school, anything to do with helping other people. trust me, i feel like such a great person no matter what other ppl say when i help someone else. i feel full of promise and value. i like help.com becuase it makes me feel good when someone else is better off becuase of me. its means alot.

what is she good at? find some thing that she enjoys and help her persue that, so she can bring something shes proud of back to this people who are just putting her down.

welll… im not so sure… im sorrry >