suicide help: what do you call a ninja who attacks a pirate? - Help.com

Commander Ikari
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what do you call a ninja who attacks a pirate?

Suicidal.

This closed post was written 9 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 238, 15, 4 | Edit Post | Report Post


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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 10 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (0 minutes after post)

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Commander Ikari offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 378 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (0 minutes after post)

ah, you sexy robot, i aint about to kill myself!

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Khalivarsha² offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 14 #
Minneapolis, MN, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (10 minutes after post)

lol, I love the helpbot.

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*=Adam=* offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 44 #
Riverton, NJ, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (12 minutes after post)

Everyone knows that the ninja-pirate combat ratio is three to 1(1 ninja takes down three pirates)
However, this ratio degrades with quantity, eventually leveling out at 1 to 1 once the ninjas reach a critical mass of 20.
DO YOUR MATH!

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Commander Ikari offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 378 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (14 minutes after post)

bullship, that math was done by ninjas, who suck at math.(so do pirates, but at least we kick ***)

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Khalivarsha² offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 14 #
Minneapolis, MN, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (14 minutes after post)

Sorry Adam, but your math is refuted by common sense. Everyone knows that three pirates would drink rum and laugh heartily while making a single ninja walk the plank. Just plain common sense.

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Commander Ikari offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 378 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (14 minutes after post)

ahhh, curse my naughty mouth!

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Loving_it offline Verified User (9 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
Bloomfield Hills, MI, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (9 hours, 23 minutes after post)

WOAH WOAH WOAH!

1 ninja could kill a whole ship full of pirates without batting an eyelash.

Ninjas are the biggest badasses ever, and can randomly just flip out and kill anyone and anything for NO REASON!

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Commander Ikari offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 378 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (12 hours, 9 minutes after post)

bullships, pirates pwnzor ninjas

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*=Adam=* offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 44 #
Riverton, NJ, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (15 hours, 3 minutes after post)

Kahlivara, a ninja could easily make it appear that he is walking the plank by walking off and then clinging to the bottom of the plank. Whilst the pirates are watching for the splash he trips them and throws them overboard.
A small platoon of three ninjas, given that their presence is not known, could take down 30 pirates provided that they are spread out.
In all out battle, however, the ninja-pirate ratio is 3-1.

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Loving_it offline Verified User (9 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
Bloomfield Hills, MI, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (21 hours, 37 minutes after post)

that’s partially correct. a ninja could take that option…

or he could just whip a katana outta no where and slice all the pirates heads off in however many strokes he wishes! YOU CAN’T FREAKIN TOUCH NINJAZ!

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Commander Ikari offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 378 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (21 hours, 57 minutes after post)

of course the pirate would parry the blow and shot the nija in the face

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Loving_it offline Verified User (9 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
Bloomfield Hills, MI, US | 9 months, 1 week ago (22 hours, 11 minutes after post)

Um, pirate wouldn’t be able to see the blow! All they’d know is…NOTHING! BWHAHAHAHA, they’d literally be dead before they knew it.

And ninjaz can dodge anything, so let’s say a ninja let’s a pirate ’sneak up’ on him. BAM! pirate is headless in less than a nanosecond. And he’ll have looked like a fool, thinking he could actually sneak up on a ninja…

There is no logical argument that pirates are ‘better’ then ninjaz.

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Commander Ikari offline Verified User (9 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 378 #
An Undisclosed Location | 9 months, 1 week ago (22 hours, 12 minutes after post)

bah, ninjas are too big pussies to even try to mess with pirates.

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