poetry help: ok. - Help.com

have you tried writing it yourself? perhaps you can make a poem up and then we can help you improve it :)
we are not here to do you homework as you’ll never learn anything that way!

put the poem in here - so we can all read it and make good suggestions on how to improve it :) nothing is ever stupid - trust me :)

cheaters nvr prosper!

ok - thats a good start :) Im gonna invite some people who are really good with poems and hopefully they can help you fine tune it.
I think the main problem is that some sentences are a little bit too long and not smooth running. Especially the last paragraph in the poem. Did you want it to all be ryhming couplets? eg:
twinkle, twinkle little UFO
how I wonder how you glow
(the last 2 words ryhme) coz it starts like that and slowly evaporates. Needs to hold the same form throughout the poem.
By the way - I think it is a cool poem and not stupid just needs some work :)

i’ll invite some ppl.

how long does it have to be.

croag croag my name is thomas i’ve eaten to many bugs now i cant get up .Well it’s
a start …..

i am a frog.
i sit on a log.
in a pond.
sometimes it fogs.
but then no one see my sobs.

i have no idea

I like nykhan27’s suggestion. Simple and short always wins :D try rewriting it like that. Shorter sentences and ryhming couplets.

awww thanks ditzy.

I think follow the way nykhan27 did it. Use her style in writing. Not copy. Shorten the sentences and keep it ryhming (so it flows smoothly)

i am glad my poem helped.
lol i thought it was bad.

my color is green
my eyes are red
im a frendly frog
i wish i was dead
need to find a mate
what cheers me up and is bright…

Hey, just go with it !!!! I think it is perfect for a 7th grader. Its from the heart, and original… or is it? It tells a story, and much better than some poems that I have read. You will improve as you go along. Don’t expect more than you are able to give right now. Your teacher will be pleased>

Blessings………

Hope you get a good grade too :D Im sure the teacher will like it. I thou it was a cool story.

*round of applause* that is a really good poem! well done. Greatly improved from the original and with a believable and good story line. I would have given you top marks for that. Esp since you managed to keep the ryhming couplets going and it was short and precise! well done :D

which poem did u hand in?

huh? that wasnt sarcasm - I dont do sarcasm. Sorry if it came over like I was being sarcastic :S Im truly impressed!

lol umm forget my question i didn’t see u wrote the poem above
it is really good tooo.