friends help: Possible stalker, - Help.com

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well… let me just say that you are not safe… he seems very obsessed with you… not good… you really should talk to your parents about this.. or a school counselor.. although a friend… he seems to be very unstable… the signs that he is showing are very controlling and very abusive… yes.. abuse comes in many forms other than just hitting… it can also be verbal to wear you down mentally… please.. you really need to get the story out to people so that they can maybe get him some professional help that he needs… does he take meds for his depression?

wow - not sure what to suggest. Sounds like your doing all that you can with out taking it to the police.
I would perhaps warn him about going to the police or some thing. He sounds dangerous. I would not put yourself in a situation where you are alone with him. Can you perhaps get your parents to talk to his parents about this? coz some thing needs to be done. His attitude and what he is doing is not right!

take a look at one of my posts…. signs of abuse… i made it because of the fact that i am a survivor.. and i see way too many posts on here about abuse.. and not knowing that it truly is abuse..

http://help.com/post/122582-this-is-f…

I think you should avoid him. I don’t have the mental depression problems he seems to have, but I’m also very obsessed with the girl I like, (I’ve held unto the wrapper of a chocolate bar that she sold to a teacher who gave it away to me) so I can understand a little about the way he thinks. You should always hang around friends that can protect you and decide if you have to get the police or some other authority involved before this guy tries to do something very drastic.

i too would like to know as well…

You cant have adam as i need him to make funny film so we can all laugh

“Since he was so obsessed with me, I feared that he would commit suicide when I broke up with him” his actions are not ur responsibility. if he chooses to commit suicide then thats HIS PROBLEM. what u do is not bout him and he’d behave like that to others too.
“he also could not accept the fact that I occassionaly wanted to talk to someone else. He is very critical of me, where as when we were dating he saw me as having n faults.” like u said he is “controlling” and he is, u being with this guy is not healthy because he’s not giving u any freedom. for love to work it needs that in it.
also, if ur not accepted for the way u are u cant express ur feelings and be who u truly are.
LEAVE him, if he keeps bothering u meet up with him in a public place with a friend you trust and tell him you don;t want to be with him, and if he keeps bugging you, u will tell the police. if ur friend is there then he’d far less likely encourage u to get back with him and by being in a public place the chances of him being violent would be far less.
good luck to you. x

freakofnature wrote:
[quote Anonymous]I think you should avoid him. I don’t have the mental depression problems he seems to have, but I’m also very obsessed with the girl I like, (I’ve held unto the wrapper of a chocolate bar that she sold to a teacher who gave it away to me) so I can understand a little about the way he thinks. You should always hang around friends that can protect you and decide if you have to get the police or some other authority involved before this guy tries to do something very drastic.

not meaning to be at all offfensive, may I ask you what it is that makes you obessive over this certain girl? I am trying to udnerstand the way this person thinks. I can slightly understand because as part of being mildly autistic I develop very unhealthy obsessions. However, they are not about people I know. (except adam sandler whom i will marry

?

I typed something but it didn’t appear after the quote…

I guess you’re not meant to know why I like her so much. :)

I don’t think you or anyone could fully understand the mind of your “stalker.” So like I said, just be very wary of what he might try to do someday…

Anonymous wrote:
I guess you’re not meant to know why I like her so much. :)

I don’t think you or anyone could fully understand the mind of your “stalker.” So like I said, just be very wary of what he might try to do someday…

you are anonymous… so can you please… tell us why? why should she be careful.. what are you actually capable of doing?

anonymous why are u messing about?
freakofnature its prob best u ignore him, the more u try to get an anwer from him the more pointless replies ull get.

Personally, I know I would never do anything if I knew I couldn’t be the girl I love. I would just go on with my life and try to find a purpose. But someone who’s not as sane might resort to kidnapping you or killing off any competition to get what they want…

yeah but not every person is like that.

i believe there has actually been a few school shootings for that very reason…

i suffer from depression.. and i am on an anti depressant.. and i do not have the mood swings in which you are talking about above… it sounds more like bi polar.. which is not something to be messing with.. that or.. his medication is not high enough for him..

3>

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Freakofnature, the best info I have ever read about this sort of behaviour is in a book written by an expert in defusing these kinds of life-threatening situations. It is called “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker.

freakofnature wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
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look, u wouldn’t keep posting here if you didn’t want me to know. Your anonomous. Trust me, i’ve been my share of sinning in my life. You won’t be judged. Tell me.

Lol, what? I was just trying to fix the HTML. You made a heart after Adam Sandler ealier that made some text disappear. It’s not like I’m trying to hide anything, lol. I just don’t feel like repostng anything now that’s all.

Listen, take it from someone who knows. This guy cannot think clearly. you need to talk to people. School counselor, parents, friends and yes even the police. these guys obsess and it has nothing to do with you, it is about them and their sick mind. I was almost killed by a guy like this and that was after pressing charges against him. There is no measure too extreme to protect yourself from him. I am serious do not play around with this guy, this is one friendship that you do not need!

dont worry about it hun… anon is playing games… he/she is trying to mess with your mind.. ignore them…

BUT…. as i do… i hide behind my smile… the person that everyone sees is not the real true me… do you understand… its a show that i put on… behind my smile.. there is a lot of pain and heart ache… but in front of people… im happy, i smile.. im different… and maybe… he is like this in front of his counselor and parents..

Whether or not he is getting therapy, you need not concern yourself with forming an opinion of what mental illness he suffers from so that you have an excuse not to protect yourself. You need to think about your safety first. If you feel unsafe, that should be the bottom line. Just because he has been diagnosed with a medical condition does not mean that you have to continue to expose yourself to his dangerous behaviour.

I’ve had something simalar happen. This what I had to do. After I got rid of my ex-boyfriend ( and it took a while). I had started to date another guy. I changed my phone # and told him if he ever got a hold of me agian the police would be contacted. I kept good trust worthy friends around and my mom helped alot. Still to this day if I know that he might be there I have someone with me. maybe you should contact his therapist and let him/her know, and tell him/her that your worried about this guy. As for how to handle this guy. Some of your friends have to know what going on and have seen the way he treats you right? Well keep them close and maybe start going to a self defence class. I wouldn’t try dating any one yet.

Hi, You have done the right thing breaking up with him. He does sound dangerous. Its hard but no matter how much he begs you, cries, etc don’t go back with him. As it will make it harder to break up again. Just be strong with yourself & make sure you keep yourself safe for a while as he does sound obsessive. After a time he will get over it and maybe then you can be friends. Whatever he does to himself is not your fault or responsibility. It sounds harsh but you must think of you. And if you are not happy or comfortable with him, you shouldn’t stay. :)