friends help: can someone have clinical depression but cover it up as if nothing is wrong to their family and friends? - Help.com

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Yes, It is altogether possible for someone to have clinical depression but not act like it around the ones they love. It is a coping skill as well as denial.

the answer to that question is yes. If people don’t want help, they won’t seek it and they don’t get it. It’s as simple as that. hence the reason for covering up.

Well put, kitty

then if they don’t seek help they really don’t think they have it then or are they just running away from their problems?

They may not think they have it but they could also be running away fom their problems

thankyou akhale! the reason for them covering up is that they don’t know what is going on with their emotions, they could be scared of what others/ family members would think of them. Then again some people just don’t want help.

so that is why my wife left and went back home? she is depressed and running away from problems and too ashamed or embarrassed to get help?

I don’t know you wife’s exact set of circumstances but I suppose it is possible

i have no idea what the go is with your wife but that’s the general idea yeah. Eventually, people work out from personal instinct that something is wrong and they DO do something about it. have you tried confronting them with this question?

this is someone else’s post and we haven’t heard from them!

Yea, it is isn’t it

i feel kinda bad! Uh hello? Anonymous? Would you like to say something? Anything else we can help with?

Yea, I know what ya mean

Anon ya still there?

so everyone reccommends counseling. and by the way today we agreed for a separation while she has space and time to get un confused and she said she was seeking counseling to see what her problem is. i think it is depression.

Well that is a good step forward

Counseling, anyway. How do you feel about the separation?

Seperation? whoa! i didn’t know that was involved! So this is your post? And it’s your wife we’re talking about. Do you have a family? aka Kids? (i hope this isn’t too personal, feel free to tell me where to go!)

but why would she leave me and go home and act normal to her family and friends, or does she believe i am the problem and running from me? i hate it i don’t understand why she needs time from me, i’m her husband and its frustrating that i can’t be there to help her. and she said not to contact her she’ll call me.

She could be embarassed to show that side of herself to family and friends and maybe she is more comfortable being herself around you.

may i ask what kind of symptoms of depression do you think she has?

so i do as she asks and not contact her and just hope that she does go to counseling. i’m not sure what type of depression it is. she is sad that she did bad in her college courses, she isn’t going this semester because we moved, we had to leave all our pets at her mother’s, she starting smoking pot behind my back some months ago, she is worried about her appearance, and then told me she loves me, but she isn’t in love with me and went home.

Depression is kind of a tricky thing in that even though their are some basic symptoms the way people respond to their symptoms differ from person to person and to me it sound like you have some loss of interests and major attitude change going on there.

well when we met she was passionate about school, and now she says she hates it, she use to be some what religious, now she isn’t. she definitely isn’t the same person i fell in love with, but i do love her to death. so do i do as she asks and give her time?

Give her some time but also let her know that you care about her and are thinking about her

If she has e-mail maybe drop her a line saying hello maybe once a week (at most)

well i told her i loved her today, and i would try to give her space. i’m just worried that she doesn’t go to counseling like she said she would because she’ll run from it and then just keep thinking i’m the problem and not want to work it out. she is saying she is confused right now. but am i being strung along or what?

!!!Little red light going on here!!!
i went through something similar with my partner, you see, we have been together for three years, there is a huge age difference between us and me being 16 when we got together I felt as though he had experienced everything and i was going to miss out on everything and regret it later. So I went through a stage of “I hate that i love you” and walked out on him countless times to do what i felt i had to do as a teenager and we’re still together planning to get married late next year!! My point being… Could this be a phase? maybe she needs to do what she needs to do and will come back to you when she’s ready. i mean you are married.

How old are you both if you don’t mind me asking?

good point.

Also,not to be harsh, but your job is to worry about you. She is an adult and if she decides not to get counseling for herself that is her choice, however stupid it may be.

****, you hit it. She is 20 and I’m 25 and i partied hard in school. but i did well. she does poorly so i’m against partying, well at least smoking pot. so you think it might be a phase? also she hates talking about problems that is one reason the whole taking off think caught me totally by suprise.

my UNPROFESSIONAL opinion is that she is not depressed, just confused and scared.
she needs time to work out whether you and her were meant to be… It takes alot longer for us girls to work it out but we just want everything perfect! hope This helps!

I’d have to agree

Oh! i hated it when my other half would ask me about my ‘moods’ or problems! jsut him asking me that alone really got to me! which resulted in us having an argument and me storming out on him… does this sound like you?

hmmm can you be confused, scared and depressed? because the way she is acting now, is kind of the way she was when i met her, then she said i turned it around for her, but now its like she was in the begining. i don’t know either way i just need to give her the time is what you are suggesting. well i ask she doesn’t want to talk about it, and now she says there have been problems and i say well you never told me. One thing her mom kept saying today while we agreeing on a separation was “you are still married, remember you are still married” to both of us.

if there is something going on in her personal life as well yes. Bear in mind that when all of this stuff was happening between my partner and i, my parents went through a really messy divorce with me being the star of the show.
there could be something happening at her college that makes her want to stop studying so hard.
this thing with what the mum said is scary, you don’t think that there could be anyone else? (i’m kinda hoping that this isn’t full-on)

l

sorry, i didnt read all the replies above.. but it is possible.. im clinically depressed and even though im on anti depressants.. i still feel pain and all the torture that i have gone through in life… so when people see me.. they see my smile.. they hear my laughter but its a mask that i hide behind.. so yes, it is possible..