girl help: They put poisen in my food! - Help.com

It’s probably just a minor case of bad food poisioning.
They didn’t try to poison you, just like some bad shrimp can cause this.

Oh man, your screwed now. Its in your bloodstream mang. You have little chance of survival… go to the girl you love and ask why she poisoned you… you deserve the truth before you pass on…

Hmm…. well I guess it’s okay then. But you have nothing to worry about since she doesn’t make the food. she only seats you and takes your money. So, I don’t think there is a likely chance she will get fired. =] Hope ya feel better.

Yes… you don’t have much time… quickly. Get up from your comp and go now. You don’t even have time for a movie date… the poison might have already taken control of your brain… you might pass on during the movie… so you better go straight for the make-out session w/ her… don’t use tongue, you don’t want to tranfer the poison to her.

Yes, don’t worry about cleaning up or taking a shower. In fact, don’t even worry about brushing your teeth.

Did you know that vomit is nature’s most powerful aphrodisiac? It gets ‘em in a baby-making mood everytime man. Trust me, I know from experience. One time I had the twenty-four hour flu, and my house was filled with girls. They can smell the vomit miles away, like a shark smells blood. They want it more than a crackhead.

Here is what you will say: “I have been thinking about you all day and vomiting.” Its the perfect one-line opener. Or “Ever since I saw you earlier today, I have been puking my guts out.” If those two don’t work, just think on your feet, something will come to you.

Remember, if you have to vomit when you’re talking to her, go for the shoes.

Make love, not war. I know its hard, but forgiveness is divine. Don’t hold it against him man, its not the Lord’s way.

Invite him to join you and the girl. You and cheif can double team her. Remember, go first because sloppy seconds is no fun.

You three will make the most beautiful three-way ever… vomiting and moaning in the heights of ectascy.

Good luck, may God be with you my friend.