school help: My partner and I were discussing raising children and the role that religion would play in their lives. - Help.com

i think he’s right, when the kids grow up and get their own brain and think for themselves, they should decide what, if any religion they want to follow

Can’t you still be taught the same morals and values in a non-Christian school? I went to a mixed faith school and don’t believe myself to be morally corrupt! Christians arn’t the only people who believe in kindness and general morality. I was also taught about Holy Communion etc without feeling like I actually had to believe in it, but I was edeucated about what it meant alongside other religous practices and so could eventually make my own mind up. I hope this makes sense and I hope you and your partner can agree some day :)

Hmmm… Well, there are pretty differing points of view you could take on the matter. On one side, there’s me- my parents were agnostic, and I ended up with few morals, and few mental restrictions, together with a huge inferiority complex, which makes me pretty messed up in the head when I don’t do my meditation. At the same time, my brother turned out pretty much normal- he’s about as average as teens today get, except for the general disdain of most video games, and the love of pissing off everyone around him for fun (read- crazy, but within the social norm).

So, you could try to instill morals in your children without resorting to organized religion as explanation- that may, or may not work out. Or, you could turn to organized religion for help, which again, may or may not work out because of all the failings within the system in the first place.

At the same time… once your children grow up, they’re going to make their own decisions anyways, but based more on whether they find fulfillment with what they have or not, rather than by whether they really identify with something. Like, my boyfriend and buddhism for example. Or, me and taoism (though that’s not really a religion, it’s a philosophy). As a result of that transition, they may end up in the same religion as you, or they may end up in a polar opposite.

My opinion is that some form of belief is necessary for spiritual fulfillment. So, I would say- teach them your beliefs, and maybe involve them in a local church. This will increase the ties the child has to that religion- if those teachings are enough for their spiritual fulfillment, then they will stick with it and involving them in a church from a younger age will give them more comfort there. At the same time, don’t restrict information about other religions- don’t make the bible the only source of religious material in the house, make sure your kids read and discuss other religious texts once they are old enough (high school…)

About catholic schools: Just don’t. Unless you live in a tiny suburb city, with rows of little white houses and perfectly cut lawns.. and in general perfect suburbia, ans never plan on leaving, then send your kids to a public school, with a good high level program- IB, double honors, etc.. that will challenge them, but at the same time teach them how to handle people of different viewpoints, races, cultures, beliefs, and most importantly- how to handle people who are outright hostile. That is a life lesson that needs to be learned, and I don’t feel like it’s taught properly in catholic schools.

That is good advice. I would definately consider that for my own future children! I guess people should be less scared of what effects religion might have on their children and embrace it as much as possible, it’s not like we can ignore it and hope it doesn’t matter! You are wise, ChicagoGirl! :)

lillian.torell wrote:
ChicagoGirl, I think we are both at that transitioning to what religion/philosophy/way of life really suits us. Hopefully we have that one sorted out prior to our children needing spiritual direction!:)

Truth being said…you can’t teach values, you can live by them and by your example your children will either asscribe to them or not. The main reason children accept the example is because they can see the value. You can send them to 100 different schools, but if those who teach, don’t live the values…the kids are too smart and will sense a hypocritical mentality and flush that teaching down the…you have to teach by example, coupled with the why you do what you do. Honestly, this is the only real way to do it right.

Hopefully you will meet eye to eye with your partner and come to agree on the example you will set for your children so that they can learn how to live. It’s not the school that does it, its you. Best of luck getting to this end

Children learn by example. I would not marry and even think about kids until I had all of this straighten out. You must teach values to your children but you also must live those values.

why don’t you just send him to a public school