friends help: Relationships and friends - why so difficult?

tylade

Canberra, 01, AU

Relationships and friends - why so difficult?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now and are almost 21. We are both really sociable people and when we hang around others aren’t stereotypically ‘coupley’. We include others in the conversation, and try and make it fun. Yet after being together for this long - it feels like we have no friends! No one rings us up to hang out, and when we try and make effort it feels like people just avoid coming around.

I don’t know what it is - I’m open to criticism, any advice really. We both work full time and aren’t studying so are finding it really hard to find ‘new’ friends.. Any advice? I feel like we are stuck in this void of being friendless between now and when/if we get married and can then make friendships with other couples. Help! I really would like some more friends - the sort that can just come over and watch a movie or play playstation, and occasionally (but not EVERY TIME we hang out) have a coffee or go out for dinner.

This open post was written 10 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 342, 10, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post tylade may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. tylade is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 1 month and has 3 posts and 6 replies to their name.

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friends, marriage, Coffee, playstation, Film, Watch, Interpersonal relationship, Find, Courtship, recreation (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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Ted 18 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (4 minutes after post)

Well I don’t know if that applies to you but I usually feel disturbed by couples who get too intimate (if you know what I mean) when they are with friends. I mean expressing your love is ok, I do it too, as long as other people don’t feel neglected when you hang out with them. It kind of makes me feel I should leave them alone…:P

Help me with: How do you get a life when you feel you can’t help yourself?

tylade 0 #
Canberra, 01, AU | 10 months, 1 week ago (8 minutes after post)

We considered that and we really are the sort of couple that are more best friends than ‘intimate lovers’. We don’t really kiss or cuddle or anything when we hang around our friends, so I don’t THINK it’s that, but I guess we could make more of an effort..

*lilies-work mode 346 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (12 minutes after post)

Hmmm people get too busy with their own lives so they could not have the time to spend with you.

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tylade 0 #
Canberra, 01, AU | 10 months, 1 week ago (23 minutes after post)

If that’s the case then do you have any advice on how to make new friends?

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tylade 0 #
Canberra, 01, AU | 10 months, 1 week ago (31 minutes after post)

I get all that, when I am by myself and with couples I understand what you are talking about.. but when my boyfriend and I hang out we very rarely act like a couple. Just like any other set of best friends would. We’re not lovey dovey or anything..

*lilies-work mode 346 #
An Undisclosed Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (35 minutes after post)

tylade wrote:
If that’s the case then do you have any advice on how to make new friends?

:)you can meet up with people with the same hobby as you do like a sport or something. It can also be like joining reading clubs, volunteering for something. It is important to get to know people who share the same vision, goals or perhaps a hobby. Those would give you a stronger link.

Help me with: There are Places I Remember…

petro_11_0 #
AU | 10 months, 1 week ago (43 minutes after post)

I understand what you mean my partner and i dont have a large network of friends so it’s difficult, but when you meet people that share simalar intrests, values and so on i think you’ll be fine, sometimes it takes time to build up connections with people

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Ted 18 #
An Unknown Location | 10 months, 1 week ago (56 minutes after post)

Talking to your friends about it is not a bad idea at all. Explain to them that you feel you have become distant and ask them the reasons why. In my opinion, real friendship should be based on honesty and the freedom to discuss with them when you feel something is wrong and falling out.

Help me with: How do you get a life when you feel you can’t help yourself?

emichael2 1 #
US | 10 months, 1 week ago (2 hours, 11 minutes after post)

It depend on you guys bring up your jokes and what you talk about. Try looking into those things and see where you are going wrong and then work on improving. Take care!

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