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so after forgiving my husband of a one night stand
and I take him back, forgive him and try to work through it, ten months later I find her number on his phone under a mans name. what do I do when I have a young son to think of?
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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not yet, not sure what to say when i found out by looking onhis phone
How did you know it was her under a man’s name? Did you call the number? Or did you recognize the number somehow?
I think you should confront him. He is absolutely in the wrong. And I don’t think that you should be worried about HOW you found the number since he was unfaithful in the first place. HE’S the one that has to do the work to gain YOUR trust back. He obviously hasn’t done that, and in fact, he’s being completely dishonest AGAIN. You forgave him, and he should have enough respect for you and your marriage to remove the other woman from his life completely if his marriage means anything to him.
I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with this. Good luck!
I kept the number from last time and got a friend to check it just to be sure. I told him before that he could not lie to me again else we were over so now what do i do? I have a son of 18 months whom adores his dad but i just dont see how i can trust him again.
I am so sorry you are going through this. My best advice would be to go to counseling…? I hope you are able to work through this. I wish your family the best.
thankyou, do you think i should still try and work through this then? I just dont know if I should call it a day or work harder.
Well, unfortunately, only you can decide whether this is a deal breaker for you or not. However, being a child from a broken home where my father was unfaithful, I will say: do not stay in an unhappy marriage full of mistrust just for the sake of your child. Kids are very sensitive, and he’ll know if something is wrong with mommy and daddy, only he won’t understand and he’ll think its his fault.
I really think you should talk to your husband and make him understand that what he has done is unacceptable and you’re not even sure if you’re willing to work on this. I would suggest talking to a marriage counselor, keeping in mind that it might be for the greater good if you don’t stay in the relationship. He’s proven that he can be unfaithful once by cheating, and he’s proven to be a liar by keeping the woman’s number on his phone under a false name! A blatant lie!
I really hope it all works out for you. One way or another, you deserve better treatment than that!
you are an angel, thankyou for your advice, for some unknown reason i feel responsible for this mess! a bit of counselling maybe the right first step. thankyou x
I dont’ know, honestly. You caught him twice, unfortunately and HE needs to work harder, not you. I don’t believe you should stay, mostly because of your son. You will feel a lot better without this man around. You don’t need to be around someone who hides things from you.
thankyou both, if i have learnt anything from this its anything is better than being alone when youre supposed to be with that special someone. I just need tgo see that I do deserve more. Sadly,. I have struggled to pick myself up from the first time so still feel so low and that doesnt help when trying to see the bigger brighter picture. I am normally a really happy go lucky easy going kind of girl and i just feel like the life and the love of it has been beaten out of me. Im sorry to moan but i really dont have anyone whom i feel able to confide in. thanku both
Honey, this is NOT YOUR FAULT. HE cheated on YOU. HE’S lying to YOU. You are not responsible for his choices.
I would highly recommend getting some counselling just for yourself, regardless of what happens with your marriage. You need to see that you are a wonderful, caring woman with lots of love ot give. If he throws that away, thats his loss.
You do deserve more, trust me. I’m dealing with a trust issue with my boyfriend right now too. :(
i know, ive had my head in the sand on this one. first step get myself STRAIGHT! Sorry to hear your going through it too kimtram. My are they good at creating issues! THANKYOU both and best wishesxxxxx
definitely!! haha. Can you see my posts at all? I’d like to know what you think of mine…
sorry but its my first visit so trying to find your post x
It’s not showing up for some reason, I responded to you on the other post where you asked me what happened..
Anonymous, I think you might benefit from going to counseling for yourself. Your infidelitious husband on the other hand, if you told him that the last time was THE LAST and ONLY TIME, you need to stick by your word. Otherwise he’ll never change, why let him have the best of all worlds only at your expense?
He’ll try to manipulate you, he’ll try to guilt you into thinking you’ve done something wrong, it’s all his own insecurities, his own short comings.
A man who cheats on the love of his life and the mother of his children, is no man at all, and isn’t a role model for his own offspring.
Similiar thing happened to me… I found her number in my partner’s phone under a different name… He claimed it was so if she rang or texted him he would know it was her and could delete the message or reject the call… Hmmm… He obviously hadn’t heard of with holding your number! I knew something was up…. Asked to see his phone bill…. he refused… accused me of not trusting him and how could i doubt him after i had forgiven him…. Well i didn’t trust him and he gave me good reason not to…. Keep your man to the kerb… He is playing games!
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