Love help: I am divorced and a MOM. - Help.com

Dear, I am in a very similar situation. Am seeing someone so nice it is not even funny. But I know one day I will ahve to let him go. He is older than me and has been divorced for a long time. He will never remarry again. So now i am enjoying it while it lasts. You didnt make a fool of yourself just did what you thought was right at the time.

Could his dumping you have something to do with the abortion? Maybe he is having trouble coming to terms with it? You say you have 3 kids, does he have any of his own? Sometimes it is hard for us women to understand that abortion isn’t only about the woman it can really have an effect on the man, too. Especially if this would have been his first biological child. If you feel comfortable enough, you can try to talk to him about it. But, you may just have to give him some space. Maybe instead of texting, send him a real letter in the mail, describing how you feel about him, and asking about what has happened. Tell him even if you can’t be a couple, you would like to understand what is happening so you can at least be friends. And set a date in the letter, like “I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you, so I won’t call you again until two weeks from now on the XXth, and I hope you will talk to me then” And then stick with it, as hard as it may be, and don’t call him until then, and then listen to whatever he has to say. Don’t be disrespectful, or needy, or sad, or defensive, just listen, and give him a chance to come to terms with whatever he is dealing with that he has decided makes you too much for him.

Good luck, and I wish you the best with what is going on.

I like the suggestio of guess who- giving him time. you are probably better off with out him anyway things were cool with him until he actually had to be responsible or supportive of you - and then he bolted. Be glad you are not strapped into another doomed relationship with someone.

Keep in mind that after an abortion or miscarriage the body is still flooded with the same hormones as if you gave birth so you ahve about a 6-8 week postpartum which for a lot of men and woman is very hard to handle. You should be starting to come out of the grey soon, and start thinking more rational…. ie sending text to him. just stop that. he’s not worth it. If you don’t seem to be able to get out of the funk, knowing that you are in post partum depression is half the battle to getting well.

Stop worrying about what you did wrong you did nothing wrong, he just isnt the right man for youa nd your kids.
Chin up you will be okay.

by the sounds of it you have a sweat heart and three lovely children. u need to look at eac one as a gift from him. he is always going to be in your life becauseu share life. time is a healer. it doesnt necceserely mean t will get better just a bit easier. i have so many problems myself i would like to share but if uremeber that if it didnt work then it didnt work for a reason, whatever it may havebeen. i hope u can find happiness again because if u r unhappy then your children wil be also even if they dont tell u things. the main thing with me is lonliness. im married but still feel as if there is no one to talk to. at least with children u can help them and without u knowing it they will be helping you. i hope u keep chatting and try to have some fun for yourself and give yourself some attenshion. i feel it will work out fine for you. as i say a big heart is all u need.

Let him go and you will see in time there is someone much better suited to you.

I’ve been divorced with 3 children for 10 years now… believe me, you can’t just take the first guy who walks into your life… there will be a few and from those you will learn who and what is out there!