Love help: An atheist and a Christain to be married. - Help.com

Beliefs are not everything… but they can be everything when they clash. If you are having issues now with him,.. they will not likely change when you get married. Dont marry expecting to change or for him to change. If you want to marry him.. marry him how he is now because you like how he is now.

My advice would be to get this conflict resolved BEFORE you marry… else your in for a rough time.

show this post to your atheist husband:—

If you walked into a room full of scientists and asked them is there such a thing
as God most of them would say no.
Then if you asked them is there such a thing as “nature” they would all look at you
as though you’re crazy.
Of course there’s nature.
If you then asked them “what is nature?” they would proceed to tell you
it is this great, invisible, all-powerful force, that controls all the
seen and unseen things in the universe.
Sounds like God doesn’t.
Nature and God are simply two names for the same thing.
Nature being the scientific name and God being the religious name.

very good advice “AmandaLynn”.
I would add that I have seen many people who are labeled
“atheists” and who are in fact much more spiritually conscious
than so-called Christians. Does your husband fall into this category?

Discussion is one thing but attacking is not a good thing.
You should explain to him that you do appreciate his ideas
but that you don’t want to be made out as though you are the enemy.
You maybe represent for him a strong religious character which he needs
to get rid of in order to be able to live with him.
Tell him that that’s not necessary. But also don’t be fooled into thinking
that he will change into something that you are.As AmandaLynn has
correctly pointed out.

spiratec9 wrote:
very good advice “AmandaLynn”.
I would add that I have seen many people who are labeled
“atheists” and who are in fact much more spiritually conscious
than so-called Christians. Does your husband fall into this category?

in other words does he follow the 10 Commandments and the 11th Commandment
“love thy neighbor as thyself”

U know.. what people believe is what they believe. I am a whole hearted believer in the fact that one cannot convince another of a belief - otherwise that adopted belief is dependent upon that person and is thus baised on that person which convinced them.

When you marry someone - you want to marry them not baised on labels - but baised on individual commonalities and compatibilities. Will you be able to understand one another? Are you able to understand how one another thinks? Do you both want the same thing out of life? Out of a marriage? Are you walking on the same PATH??

It is impossiable to walk hand and hand with someone who is not even walking on the same path of life as you are. … emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. Dont risk your future marriage on the gamble of “things might change”. If you are not walking on like paths - then you need to call it off. Simple as that. Counseling may help clear some things up.

you are a very wise person AmandaLynn.Great stuff!

This pretty much has ‘disaster’ written all over it. You’ve got to work something out between the two of you.

don’t think I would write it off as a “disaster”.
Spiritual stuff is very intense and as AmandaLynn has pointed out
they need to resolve this before marriage. And I do believe it is possible
to resolve it. It may take some time. Don’t be in a rush. Youre going to spend the rest of your life with his partner. Your not just buying a car.

sorry about that “anonymous#” I missed the point you made correctly
about they must work something out, your right.

katie, my parents were in a situation similar to yours, in that my mom was a christian and my dad an atheist. i’m sure she was pregnant when they married. back then there wasn’t any question as to what a young couple should do. they were married for 52 years until he died about a year ago. they loved each other, but both of them always felt they had married the wrong person. they were happy at times, but even in the hapy times there was an undertone of not being on the same path.

i have been a christian for nearly 40 years, and have struggled with faith and logic, trying to reconcile the two. i believe in evolution, but also that there is a loving god. i believe in jesus, but that the bible is full of mistakes and prejudices from the men who wrote it. of late, my kids and i haven’t been going to a church at all, as i seem to find it difficult to find one that is both devoted to christ and open-minded. so we have an hour of silence on sunday mornings in which we can read or shoot hoops or whatever, but with no tv, computer or electronic games during that time. i still hope to find a faith community eventually, as i believe that being with others who love god together (by loving people through actions and not just words) is the best way to live.

it’s not up to you to convert your fiance. but it’s also hurtful to you for him to belittle your faith and to have a sarcastic attitude. if the two of you can’t meet in the middle, then your marriage will not be happy. meeting in the middle does not mean becoming weak in faith, or in him professing things he doesn’t believe, but in finding a common spirituality. that may be hard to find. one thing for sure, he doesn’t need to be married to a person who is on-fire for god in a fundamentalist denomination. and you don’t need to marry someone who denigrates your beliefs.

spiratec9 wrote:

spiratec9 wrote:
very good advice “AmandaLynn”.
I would add that I have seen many people who are labeled
“atheists” and who are in fact much more spiritually conscious
than so-called Christians. Does your husband fall into this category?

in other words does he follow the 10 Commandments and the 11th Commandment
“love thy neighbor as thyself”

This is true, you should think this over.

As for you, many Christians are unable to perceive the world from a non-Chistian perspective. Everything has to be translated into a Christian framework. “Spirituality” only exists as it is spelled out in the Bible, literally, chapter and verse.

Please, please don’t be one of those people. Show him what Christianity can be. Likewise, those slick remarks of his are deliberately hurtful and disrespectful. Each of you has to find their own inner peace with the other’s perspective. If one of you falls short in this, you are over before you’ve begun.

You said you haven’t had a relationship with God for awhile. This would be a good thing to pray about and get that personal relationship going again. His advice will be better than anyone else’s — as you already know.

I am a Christian so the only advice I can give is based on that fact. At this point in time you should not get married. As was said earlier, this has disaster written all over it. The Bible says that you shouldn’t be unequally yoked. Some differences can be overcome or at least comprimised, that’s just not one of them. As you can already see, this is “major battle” issue that needs to be resolved before you get married.

I agree with Watcher in everything he said. I have seen marraiges work between believers and non-believers, but it is a constant struggle and those that I have seen didn’t enter into those marriages with that between them.