friends help: So life is just hard for me to deal with I guess. - Help.com

You just need to do some soul searching on your own for a while…. to find your missing parts and make you whole.

Despite what many Christians will say, religion alone will not curb those feelings of loneliness. I understand the frustration in trying to explain how lonely you feel with people who can’t see past their Bibles by saying ridiculous nonsense like ‘All you need is Jesus,’ because even Jesus said you need to spend time with other people. The Bible makes a good point to spend time with other people.

You say you’re going to hang out with a bunch of friends this week? Is this more or less the only time you get to see them? Maybe you need to take time out of your schedule for more socializing opportunities.

“Trust Me” you’ve never really developed a relationship with HIM….

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

That’s understandable. You’re probably feeling like you’re missing your “other half.”

Either you wait it out, until you have some time for a relationship, or you figure out a way to fit one into your schedule… but girls ARE demanding sometimes, so I suggest letting the girl know ahead of time.

What exactly is it that you do where you spend four hours alone each night? Would it be possible to maybe change up your schedule a little bit so that you get a few more nights of the week available to hang out with your buddies?

Also, every relationship begins as a short-term relationship. Worrying about future plans will just keep you down and make you more lonely. Let today be today. You can still plan for tomorrow, but if you’re with someone, those plans are bound to change no matter what situation you’re in. I say go for it and hit up the dating scene.

Tuesdayswithmorrie wrote:

InfoPRO… f#$% off I don’t need that kind of **** from someone who doesn’t know my whole backstory

Just based on what you’ve said I know what I’m talking about. I don’t need the details. It would have been smarter to ask my why do I say that and see what I had to say….

It may have provided the answer you were seeking….

I apologize for coming off the wrong way.

Take care!

Dude, that’s pretty self-righteous.

What IS with people on this site sometimes? Religion is not the answer for every question or every person… I’m just getting sick of people shoving it down other’s throats…ugh!

Tuesday… do not feel intimidated by INFOpro… you do not have to explain one thing to him/her…

yeah.. well I thought it was rude of them they way they said that to you.

My cure-all was to change my outlook to one based more on Philosophy. Sometimes a different otlook helps tremendously.

**** your messed in the head you may need to talk to someone.

sace wrote:
**** your messed in the head you may need to talk to someone.

I think that’s what he’s doing now.

Anyway, you need to find some way to get out of this monotonous routine you’ve fallen into. Change things up a little bit. Join a few clubs, societies, or workshops, some that even conflict with each other so you have an option every other week.

Also, everyone else has already said it, but try to develop a new outlook on life. You’re feeling stuck in your own life which is never a good thing. It seems that you’re a little concerned about the future; try loosening up your worries about tomorrow and be a little more spontaneous. Nothing too drastic, but easing into a more spontaneous lifestyle might help break up the monotony, boredom, and loneliness.

I’ve been hunting relief seems like most of my life from what you describe. I guess it’s called depression. Motorcycles? I own a few, have since I was nine years old. Fundamentalist religion, I was raised on it; trouble with it is it’s too strict, for me, to fit into the real world. Briefly hospitalized twice in a mental institution. Drug addicted by a psychiatrist that seemingly didn’t really give a ****. The trouble with having your world rocked by it’s very foundation being shaken is, as you say, you just think too much to find an answer.

I think I’ve learned, as hard as it is, not to think. Not to question. Not to wonder why. Try to let go an live. Allow yourself to fail; to get things wrong. To stop the downward spiral when it sets in.

Am I cured? Perhaps never. Can I be happy? Yes, I think I can. For me, the relief you seek and want to maintain is a lifelong, diligent vigilance to ward off “the demons”. Learn what behaviors allow them in. Learn what behaviours cast them out of your view.

Exercise. Always. And especially when you feel the least like it. Regardless of how bad I have ever felt, I always feel better after exercise. Maybe not “good”, but always better.

I grew up on motorcycles and have always had one. Maybe it won’t be motorcycles for you; it could be something else. They won’t cure anything, but when I get on one, the wind seems to blow back the flames that are consuming me and almost immediately gives me relief from the funk that blocks my life. The “flames” aren’t extinguished, just blown off of me for a while. Like a match that is just almost blown out; as you blow you can see the flames seemingly lift from match but not extenguish………giving me the strength to go on one more day.

Find a good pshchiatrist. About one in ten are good. Finally, mercifully, I found one which actually had a regimented system to seek out a medication that helps. And always seems to have something to say that helps. Once you find a drug that works, stay on it, period. Don’t think you can get off of it. Just stay on it.

Find a way to make peace with the things and the people that didn’t work for you, or feel abandoned you or let you down. Fundamentalism works for some; who am I to destroy their happiness?

Allow yourself to fail. Give yourself permission to “get it wrong”. You don’t have to have the right answer as long as your heart is good. And you don’t have to find a universal “answer”, just “your answer”. Find the “frame” that best suits your world. Find the one the most flexible you can deal with because life will inevitably throw you a curve that will force you to adjust it (your frame) to fit the explaination for these events inot your world. In my experience, fundamentalists live in a black and white world. My world isn’t black and white anymore; it is gray. It takes some getting used to.

And finally for me, and the thing I most struggle with, is forgiving myself for the hurt I caused and the mistakes I made along the way (and will continue to make) that can’t be taken back, undone, or changed. Seems I can finally give it to others but struggle with giving it to myself. But I think, until you can give it to others, you have no hope of giving it to yourself.

I hope some of this rambling helps. Perhaps it self serving to recount all of this. Perhaps a piece of it will give you a key that will help you unlock yourself from your “thinking too much”. To help you let go and live. To avoid the pointless tightening spiral of thought that can consume you and keep you from living.