Love help: MY BEST FRIEND HAS A NEW BEST FRIEND AND WE DONT TALK ANYMORE, I NEED HELP OR IM AFRAID IM GOING TO LOSE HER! - Help.com



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MY BEST FRIEND HAS A NEW BEST FRIEND AND WE DONT TALK ANYMORE, I NEED HELP OR IM AFRAID IM GOING TO LOSE HER!

!

A new girl come to my school and started hanging with me and my friends, which was fine. This was about 6 months ago. About 4 months ago my best friend started getting really friendly with her and about 3 months ago my BEST FRIEND completely stopped talking to me and hanging with me! for no reasons that i can think of.

i cant think of anything i have said or done to her for her to stop talking to me and hanging around with me. i dont know whats so good about this new girl or what she has got over me. and to make things worse this new girl doesnt like me. she looks at me like im a loser and thinks shes better than everyone else. i dont know what mt friend sees in her!!

Me and my friend used to be so close, i stayed at hers every weekend and we spent most of our time together. Went on holiday together, she knew things about me that i havnt told anyone else in the world. Shes the kind of person that you only meet once in your live that you have a real connection with and have genuine love towards them. (in a non lesbian way)

i havnt spoken to her in months and the only time she talks to me is to ask me a question or for help with school work. I feel that she seriously doesnt care anymore, but i dont know why or how.

im so upset over this and i just dont know how we got here. it feels like yesterday we were sitting in the park laughing and joking and munching on junk food together. I love her to bits and no matter how angry i am with her i dont want to lose her! i just dont know what to do or to say because i dont talk to her and i dont know if its too late or even if she’ll care.

Someone help me please!!

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lkjs offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Northbrook, IL, US | 5 years, 2 months ago (41 minutes after post)

Call her up or talk to her about this situation. If she can’t be serious with you on this then talk to one of her friends about this too. Try to call her to hang out and stuff. Even though it will be different than usual, try to accommodate to her changes if you really still want to be friends with her.

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wallflower-x offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Madrid, 29, ES | 5 years, 2 months ago (45 minutes after post)

im not sure talking on the phone is what i want to do. The problem is our friends are all the same. She hangs with two girls that me and everyone else dont like and my friends dont talk to her either but they dont know how i feel about the situation. No one else seems to care that she has gone off with these other 2 but they werent as close to her as i was.

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lkjs offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Northbrook, IL, US | 5 years, 2 months ago (49 minutes after post)

In a situation like this there’s only two options and they’re both painful.
1. Move on
2. Talk to her about this problem.
It will be **** hard as hell to do either one of them but if you can’t do either you’ll never be able to be friends with her again. I understand you because I lost a friend this way and was just being an ******* and hated for leaving.
Best of Luck..

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wallflower-x offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Madrid, 29, ES | 5 years, 2 months ago (51 minutes after post)

Thanks very much….im not sure why i posted on this site you know. ive always known that the only way to fix my problem was to move on or talk it out with her but i guess im just scared to do it. See, im not the kind of person that talk openly about emotions to (anyone). i have never cried in front of anyone or talked about my feelings. (exceot to her) So i dont know what to say or how to say it.

but thanks for helping

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lkjs offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Northbrook, IL, US | 5 years, 2 months ago (52 minutes after post)

No problem, I hope things work out between you two.

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mars199 offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Schaumburg, IL, US | 5 years, 2 months ago (1 hour, 27 minutes after post)

just ask her why it seemed like she was ignoring you and try to fix it.

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rabidpuppie offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
JP | 5 years, 2 months ago (5 hours, 12 minutes after post)

Believe in yourself and know that you are a good person. If these girls fail to see that, then they are the ones who have lost something special.

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Yourfac offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (1 year, 4 months after post)

The best thing to do is the hardest… Move on. Moving on hurts knowing your leaving some of you best memories. But if your best friend has moved on … dont you think thats your call to move on too? It will take time and YES it will hurt .. things like this always do.. but its not till later when you find a new best friend replacement that you will realize this was the best thing to do indeed. Try this for a test … Stop all contact with your Bff…. See how long it took her or takes her to figure out that you have stopped speaking with her. Time will tell where you relationshipp stands… Mines tooke me a month and a half… and that was the most painful month and a half ever. When he realized it… we talked about it and how to make it better,,,, :] Hope i helped…
Ann,ony,mous

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AngelaMinnett offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 4 months ago (1 year, 10 months after post)

Wow! Same thing with me! Tell her “Look, I respect that you can have other friends, but you’re spending WAY to much time with so and so, think we could hang out somewhere? Just us two?”

Hope it helps!

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claremartin offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years ago (2 years, 2 months after post)

It’s hard to say something satisfying when I’m in the same situation as you. You must talk to someone about this. If your friend won’t listen to you, mabye someone else will. Your parents are your closest siblings. You can tell your Mum and Dad anything. This is also a school problem. Tell one of the teachers. They can talk to your best friend and the rotten new girl and you can tell him/her how you feel (it’s okay to cry in front of a teacher if it’s something that really hurts). Talk to your friends mother. Mabye she talk to her daughter and tell her exactly how you feel. I have been crying for nearly two weeks as my best friend befriended another girl called Jessica Owen, a childish snob, and completly abandoned me. We’re trying to fix the problem right now as I’m not in school today.
Good luck,
Clare x

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maryjane_dollent offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 11 months ago (2 years, 2 months after post)

I was in the same situation with you about a year ago.. Look, do everything that can make your bestfriend feel you that you really need her and don’t wanna loose your best friendship with her.. Eventhough sometimes you’ll look stupid, just go on atleast you do everything you can just to save the friendship compared to not doing anything at all.. But if all your efforts are still not recognize, then you must start to love yourself and it only means moving on.. I know how hard it is to loose a bestfriend but as the saying goes, “every things happens for a reason”.. You will find out that reason soon in your life and for sure it is for the better because God always wants the best for us.. You’ll soon find a best friend that really deserves you and vice versa. Cheer up, girl.. There are lots of people in the world, don’t loose hope.. God bless you. :)

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crazychick98 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 10 months ago (2 years, 4 months after post)

this happened to me wen i was in primary school i just left them too it cuz the person that took my best friend away had no other friends so when charley (ex bestfriend) moved to a different school she had no one to hang out with or anything i just moved on and made loads of new friends :) x

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hygthg offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 8 months ago (2 years, 5 months after post)

i am in the exact situation and my best friend left me and we have known each other since i was 2. Now i have dreams about me losing her every night and i always wake up in tears she has 3 older sisters and hangs out with their friends. She fits in with them because of her sisters and she is growing up. I have tried to fit in but it doesnt work because of my fashion and i dont have any older sisters. I really dont know what to do because she is my only friend. please help

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nellybellyjellysu offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 7 months ago (2 years, 7 months after post)

How did this turn out????
I am going through pretty much the exact thing…..

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Nicola offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 3 months ago (2 years, 10 months after post)

Me and my friend still talk but she is always busy with her other friend!! Im friends with her too but were not as close and I don’t know her. The reason why they are all always together is because they both have boyfriends and they are friends so they just like doubledate all the time. I go round hers and she comes round mine sometimes and there is northing to talk about!! Ughhh its so annoying we used to be such good friends and see each other all the time now she has just changed :/:/:/

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rodora_ offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 1 month ago (3 years after post)

this is exactly what im going through right now…hurts too much

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chatty_ell offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 10 months ago (3 years, 3 months after post)

im goig through this, but mine is harder, we keep having arguments, my mum is telling me to let go, when i cant, she has friends who are my bestfriends too, if i let go of one, im letting go on everyone

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emilyetherso offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (3 years, 6 months after post)

hi i am losing my bffl so dose anybody have held no that situation and my bff moved to ausstraila

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hallcutler.moll offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (3 years, 7 months after post)

Right just talk to your mates new best friend and sort it out with her then talk to your best mate and become a group x

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nymike41 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (3 years, 7 months after post)

I Love all you people because your soo comprehensive to eachother /3 (what me and my ex bf used to be with eachother) this is my story: I MOVED TO A NEW SCHOOL WITH A GIRL FROM THE OLD SCHOOL AND WE GOT TO KNOW EACHOTHER VERY WELL BECAUSE WE WERE ALONE AT THIS NEW SCHOOL so we had no other choice AND WE WENT ON MEETING NEW SWEEET GIRLS TO HANG OUT WITH AND …. I found (on my own) this amazingly wonderful super funny girl and i thought i became her bff but she started hanging out with the girl that moved to the new school with me and then she started liking this guy and my freind that moved with me started chatting with this guy through bbm to help him out with my ex bf so thats one of the main reasons they talk a lot (another reason why im so upset is that i dnt have blackberry so i cant chat with her t all i have to call her or stalk her on fb hahahahha jk or send her inboxes and stufff) and please help cause i seriously dont want to loose her can anyone reply something that actually works because ive tried all of that and nothing works and i really dont want to get to the day when i ask her who is your bf and she replies (the girl that moved with you) pleasee iv cried way way to muchh please please please please please ive written 5 songs to this ex bff pleasee i dnt want to diee!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hannahstokes offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 6 months ago (3 years, 8 months after post)

I understand how you feel, I’m going through a really tough time with my bestfriend, we were like bestfriends all though primary, and since secoundry (after 2 years of being there)she has completely left me for this girl that I really dislike.
It’s hard, I understand..the best thing to do is to let her go, still be friends, and be friendly but just let her go and stand back, because you’ll only be getting upset more. I know how hard it is, you just feel like killing yourself!!
But people meet new friends, and they probably arn’t leaving you out on purpose, It’s just they meet new friends..and friendship grows.. 3
So my advice is to let go for a bit and hang with other friends and make bigger friendships, and if she asks you anything about why you haven’t been hanging out with us, then just tell her exactly how you feel.:)xxxx
Hope this helped(:

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Sheralsimmon offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 4 months ago (3 years, 9 months after post)

I’m going through the exact same thing. And when I say exact, I mean Exact. I don’t know what to do because I tried to talk to her, but it seems like that took us nowhere.She thought it was a joke. I even tried to hang out with her and her new friends, but it’s awkward like they don’t want me there. And one of them even called me a “stalker”. everytime i’m with my friend they come and tell her to do something with them. i thought it was just ’cause they were on the swim team together, but i dont know. I cry sometimes whaen i’m by myself because ti hurts to bad to lose this friend. she’s been my friend since we were in 3rd grade and now we are in the 9th.

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hasanhuseyinaydogd offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 2 months ago (4 years after post)

Well firstly she isn’t a goodfriend. A true friend would always stay together whatever happens.If I where you I’d not bother with her and walk off with another girl/group, but if you really want to have her back try to talk about school work, friends, teachers,etc….. that would remind her of the things you have done together but not too much then it would seem quite obvious. Then invite her to study together to your home but dont use words like: please, I hope you come, it’s gonna be sooo fun blahhh blahhh. Just say: “If you want to come and study at my home tonight and help me do my homework that would be good.” and smile and go.
I hope this helps!

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Noo0Noo0_ff_50 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 7 months, 1 week ago (4 years, 6 months after post)

i am going in the same but when i talk to me BFF and say that this girl want to spreat us she is like no she is good and now she is ignoring me for that other girl and i was sleeepy mad and sad in school and she was asking and i could not do somthing but lie cuz i cant tell tje truth then she well leave me and i love her and the girl that she is leaveing me for dislike
me and i dislke her and when she see me and my BFF talking or laughing she take me BFF away and say that she has somthing better to show her i wanted to cry but i could’ent
PLZ HELP ME I DONT WANT TO LOSE MY BFF FOR
EVER

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sarahkabanda80 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 6 months, 1 week ago (4 years, 8 months after post)

ya am in the same suituation i cannt advice much i also failed to move on as people told me to do.

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Kierra_Koebe offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 1 week ago (4 years, 10 months after post)

Same thing’s been happening to me lately. My bff had stopped talking to me like three months ago and now she always talks to this girl Shy’ann (Who has been trying to take all my friends from me for three years!!!) And shy’Ann told me “Oh, me and Alexa do the same thing every day, play teather ball, go on the sides and swings, and talk about what we dont like about you!” She also told me lies like “She won’t talk to you until you change,” and probably telling Alexa lies about me too!Me and Alexa did everything together, and I cried all the time!!!!!!!!
Now, I talked to the counceler AND Alexa, turns out, Shy’Ann is kind of forcing Alexa to play with her!!! And Alexa is incredibly shy and selectively mute, and she won’t talk to me at ALL! She’ll be coming over at 2:00 (Because I called her and my moms gonna pick her up) Now it feels like Alexa and I have forgotten how to talk to each other!!! I’ll work on that, but shes talking to Shy’Ann the way she used to talk to me. But what I’d say so far is to talk to the school counselor and invite her to your house, make sure shes still your bff, make conversation with her, play with both gals, even though, its hard being a threesome when one girl is a total brat, but be her close aquaintance (But do NOT talk to her unless you have to) Don’t be mean to the diva, and dont try to compete over your bff, but at the end of the day, call her and be like “Whats Up?” and talk casually, try hard to sound like you did b4 this girl braught your world into a state of trauma and dont listen to that one crazy girl. Laugh a lot, be very playful without it sounding cheesy. Play a game or whatever her and the other girl do togeter alone with her and make sure that it can feel just as nice to her when the other girl was with her as you can. (I’ve been trying that, I really need to work on it though!) But I, yes Now I have been feeling shy towards HER!!! (So heres the next step, remember how you’d start a conversation with her back in the good ole days) and try all that as hard as you can.

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soha-ema offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (4 years, 11 months after post)

the same problem with me :( :(

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pewdiepieHorro offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (4 years, 11 months after post)

Same Thing is happening to me right now! But its not only one person she is getting all buddy buddy with, its actually my two ex friends who i obviously dont talk with anymore and it sometimes leaves me by myself. :( My grade is really small so I cant make any new friends and im afraid ill just lose her. I need help like asap! (also i try to talk to her on imessages and you know how you can see if they read the message or not? I send a text saying hello and she reads it but does not respond. I tried again the next day and we had a small conversation(like only two sentences each)so I tired to talk more but it just said that she read the messages I sent and she never responded. Like I see her and my ex friends making inside jokes and stuff and it really bothers me :/
help please?!

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almccab offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (5 years after post)

hello i’m in the EXACT position here.i don’t know why my best friend did this, but i didn’t do anything wrong. i am really upset. but i learnt that you just need to get on with it. after a while she will get fed up with this new best friend and come back to you. for now just make up some more friends. if you cant wait, then chat to her about it. for your friends… just be nice.

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almccab offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (5 years after post)

u r a rude *******

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