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DOn’t give up!!!! I think she’s not over you, but wishes she were, just because of the whole mess. She may think that she’s doing herself a favor, because if it hurt her alot when you gusy broke up, maybe she just is afraid if it doesn’t work out, the smae will happen. GOOD LUCK!!!
Thanks ntalon4. I really want to fight and try to contact her, but I know I am just bugging her and getting on her nerves. How do I try to work things out but give her space at the same time? Like you said, if I wait too long I’ll loose her, right?
maybe you should wait until u see her again, and tell her u missed her….. and seem really happy to see her again… but dont go much farther than that…..
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Thanks zebraswithdots2. That is my plan, to wait a week and not initiate communication, then see how things go next weekend. But like I said, I really think she is starting to move on-unless she is just faking it. I mean it’s not even been a month, and she’s called me to tell her I love her, she’s slept in my bed while I was away etc.
However, I may have to talk to her this week b/c the kittens we bought together live with me and she has a key and lets me know when she’s going over while I’m at work.
This really stinks, I hate it and don’t want to mess it up b/c I truly truly feel she is the girl I want to marry
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I actually got her an Edible Arrangement yesterday. I was in Florida all last week, like I said she took care of the kittens, and I just wanted to send it to her to be nice. It was around $100 so it was a little costly, but I just wanted to do it b/c I know she’d enjoy it. I wasn’t trying to get her back by doing so.
However, she called me at work when she got it and said thank you and she loved it, but to not go outta my way and do things like that, esp. since it was expensive. To not try so hard and to just try to be her friend.
And I told her the same thing, I want to be her friend but still have major feelings for her and will not say I won’t try to rekindle things.
Is she really over me? I know it’s hard to tell through writing but I’m confused.
Thank you both for replying so quickly! :)
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Thank you very much for your help.
You are in the same situation as myself? Could I be of any assistance to you haha, even though you are helping me out with the same thing?
I’m hear to lend an ear!
I hope it all works out with my ex. She fought so hard for us during the relationship, she coulda broken up with me after I kissed that other girl or lied, but she put up with a lot of BS from me. I feel horrible and that wasn’t me. I’m dealing with issues with a therapist and working on stuff. I can feel her drifting away but at the same time, I know she still loves me. Hopefully the time I spend with her next weekend, and at the concer and baseball game will help-although I hope she won’t have found someone else by then! She does tend to move from relationship to relationship-only staying single a few months in between. But she’s the relationship type. She’s very independent but loves to be in love. I think I will try to just be friendly around her these next few times and not try anything or tell her I still care. Do you think that’s best? I don’t want to smuther her and know I did that already. That’s why I’m givg her space. When I see her next weekend I want to ask her to hang out the following week, but I am so scared she’ll say no and then it’ll just make me look desparate and needy.
What should I do when I see her next weekend?
Anonymous changed the tags on this post: they were "friends, Love, Family, Month, Week, Day, Space, night, Concert, text, breakups, Relationships" 5 years, 2 months ago.
Anonymous edited this post 5 years, 2 months ago. Read the previous text »
Hello,
My ex girlfriend and I dated for over a year. We had a great relationship. I have dated in the past, but have never loved anyone as much as I love her. Our love was intense, everything was perfect until about 6 months into the relationship, I lied about a text msg I got. It was nothing bad, but the text was someone being flirty (but it’s their personality nothing more) and I lied to protect her. We got things back on track but then I went to Vegas and made out with another girl, only egged on by my guy friends. I regret it completely and hate myself for it. I confronted her about it and we worked on it slowlyyy and were ok. Things were good, we bought kittens together, almost moved in together, then I started acting differently. I was just confused about my life and my friends were bad influences and my direct family wasn’t too fond of my gf b/c they thought I could do better-that she didn’t have a good enough job-I know it sounds horrible. I am working on my relationship with them too right now because they don’t respect me and don’t give my gf a chance to get to know her (not all of my family but just a few don’t agree).
Anyway, I began lying again about stupid stupid things not worth lying about. Our relationship was great until I started doing this. After a few weeks I told her I needed time to figure myself out and deal with issues I hadn’t dealt with and she agreed to take space. It was incredibly hard as it was not a “bad breakup”, we cried and held eachother all night. We’ve spoken here and there thru texts but we recently bought tickets to see a concert in a few weeks, even though we’re broken up. I’ve been working on myself a lot, and I’ve come to the root of my issues and have been dealing with them. I’m not a liar I never have been, so I was acting out of character when I was doing that with her. I needed to work on me.
Anyway, it’s hardly been a month but I am miserable without her. I want to show her that I am changing for the better and will do anything to regain her trust back. She is my soulmate. Our relationship was intense and I messed that up. I took it for granted and am kicking myself in the butt right now.
I keep telling her that I am not gonna stop fighting for her unless she tells me it will NEVER happen and she hasn’t. But then a few nights ago she texted me, asking for me to call her and tell her I love her and wish her a goodnight in front of my family. I did, I called her and chatted then told her I loved her. It got my hopes up. Then the next day she tells me she regretted it and was testing me to see if I’d be more open infront of my family-and I was. I know she still loves me if she did that-I can tell.
However, the past few days she’s been telling me that she doesn’t think she’s “in” love with me anymore. It seems like she is having a good time by herself and she’s happy. I think she thinks if we get back together it’ll be the same as it was before-but it will not be. She stayed at my apartment for 4 nights to take care of the kittens while I was away, sleeping in my bed etc. How can she be over me that quickly?
I told her again I’d love to be her friend but that I am still going to fight for her because I’d like to be with her again down the road my love is just too strong to give up. She says she’ll never say never only because that is her moto-not because it’s me. :(
We are giving eachother space and not talking this week, however I will be seeing her next week at a bday party at a bar, then again in a few weeks for a concert (which we bought tix for a few weeks ago while broken up) and then again for a baseball game (which was a present a few months back while we were together).
Do you think she is truly over me? Or is just trying to protect herself right now and muffling her feelings.
What should I do? I want to respect her and will not try to contact her this week, but I can’t help but think next weekend when I see her I want to ask her to hang out as friends. I don’t know what to do. She tells me she thinks she not “in love” with me anymore and for me to just be her friend, but then she calls me and asks me to call her and tell her I love her then buys concert tix with me ..?
Should I just stop trying or do what I’m doing and give her space, but don’t give up until I know it’ll never happen?
Thanks!
I think this is just her way of telling you off and making sure you don’t do it again. Follow her rules for now, just be a friend to her and don’t force her too much to consider your relationship again as they may put her off completely. Give her some time, then after a while, once you’ve met up quite a few times as friends, ask if you could give it another go. She just needs time to think about what she wants. Good luck! :)
Thank you bookworm15. I plan on giving her space and being normal and acting like myself-the person she fell in love with a year ago.
I’m just nervous that as I give her space and time, she’ll get over me even more and move on with someone else.
She ususally doesn’t stay single for long!
How do I manage to give her space but not loose her forever? Text her here and there wishing her a good day? Anything will help! Thanks again :)
Yeah texting her and wishing her a good day is good. That way you don’t seem pushy, you’re being nice and you don’t give her the option of forgetting you’re there.
Thanks again! I will keep you updated on what happens, if anything!
Anonymous closed this post.
Anonymous edited this post 5 years, 2 months ago. Read the previous text »
I want my ex back I want to show her I’ve changed before she moves on because our love is everlasting,
My ex girlfriend and I dated for over a year. We had a great relationship. I have dated in the past, but have never loved anyone as much as I love her. Our love was intense, everything was perfect until about 6 months into the relationship, I lied about a text msg I got. It was nothing bad, but the text was someone being flirty (but it’s their personality nothing more) and I lied to protect her. We got things back on track but then I went to Vegas and made out with another girl, only egged on by my guy friends. I regret it completely and hate myself for it. I confronted her about it and we worked on it slowlyyy and were ok. Things were good, we bought kittens together, almost moved in together, then I started acting differently. I was just confused about my life and my friends were bad influences and my direct family wasn’t too fond of my gf b/c they thought I could do better-that she didn’t have a good enough job-I know it sounds horrible. I am working on my relationship with them too right now because they don’t respect me and don’t give my gf a chance to get to know her (not all of my family but just a few don’t agree).
Anyway, I began lying again about stupid stupid things not worth lying about. Our relationship was great until I started doing this. After a few weeks I told her I needed time to figure myself out and deal with issues I hadn’t dealt with and she agreed to take space. It was incredibly hard as it was not a “bad breakup”, we cried and held eachother all night. We’ve spoken here and there thru texts but we recently bought tickets to see a concert in a few weeks, even though we’re broken up. I’ve been working on myself a lot, and I’ve come to the root of my issues and have been dealing with them. I’m not a liar I never have been, so I was acting out of character when I was doing that with her. I needed to work on me.
Anyway, it’s hardly been a month but I am miserable without her. I want to show her that I am changing for the better and will do anything to regain her trust back. She is my soulmate. Our relationship was intense and I messed that up. I took it for granted and am kicking myself in the butt right now.
I keep telling her that I am not gonna stop fighting for her unless she tells me it will NEVER happen and she hasn’t. But then a few nights ago she texted me, asking for me to call her and tell her I love her and wish her a goodnight in front of my family. I did, I called her and chatted then told her I loved her. It got my hopes up. Then the next day she tells me she regretted it and was testing me to see if I’d be more open infront of my family-and I was. I know she still loves me if she did that-I can tell.
However, the past few days she’s been telling me that she doesn’t think she’s “in” love with me anymore. It seems like she is having a good time by herself and she’s happy. I think she thinks if we get back together it’ll be the same as it was before-but it will not be. She stayed at my apartment for 4 nights to take care of the kittens while I was away, sleeping in my bed etc. How can she be over me that quickly?
I told her again I’d love to be her friend but that I am still going to fight for her because I’d like to be with her again down the road my love is just too strong to give up. She says she’ll never say never only because that is her moto-not because it’s me. :(
We are giving eachother space and not talking this week, however I will be seeing her next week at a bday party at a bar, then again in a few weeks for a concert (which we bought tix for a few weeks ago while broken up) and then again for a baseball game (which was a present a few months back while we were together).
Do you think she is truly over me? Or is just trying to protect herself right now and muffling her feelings.
What should I do? I want to respect her and will not try to contact her this week, but I can’t help but think next weekend when I see her I want to ask her to hang out as friends. I don’t know what to do. She tells me she thinks she not “in love” with me anymore and for me to just be her friend, but then she calls me and asks me to call her and tell her I love her then buys concert tix with me ..?
Should I just stop trying or do what I’m doing and give her space, but don’t give up until I know it’ll never happen?
Thanks!
Anonymous edited this post 5 years, 2 months ago. Read the previous text »
I want my ex back I want to show her I’ve changed before she moves on because our love is everlasting…
But I’ve decided to take down my post as it’s a little nerve-wrecking having such a personal situation plastered on the internet for all to see. However, I have more than appreciated the responses I got :)
I will still be on Help.com
This post has been closed, no more replies. Thanks!
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