Family help: I am going to divorce my husband. - Help.com



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I am going to divorce my husband.

He is abusive, and I need to get out. I am nervous, stressed, and tired. my family is pushing for me to divorce him. His family is pushing me to stay. He says he cannot do anything since I have made up my mind. I have three kids, and I am on the verge of breaking down…although you wouldn’t be able to tell looking at me. I need help but don’t know where to turn. Don’t suggest religious venues…I am muslim and not much here to help with that.

This open post was written 5 years, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 716, 6, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (12)

marriage, Mind, divorce, Family, Muslim, abuse, Religiosity, Get Out, Turn, Stay, stress, nervous breakdown (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

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naveen_nery offline Unverified User #
GB | 5 years, 1 month ago (24 minutes after post)

Hi there,

Your own family is encouraging you to divorse your husband, so will they give you the back up for you to do it? Could you live with them with your kids? Your husband seems to show a little interest in holding the marriage together, so perhaps you could ask him to come with you to marriage councelling. If he agrees there could be some hope. Maybe also he could try anger management. Either way, he has to know that being abusive is breaking up your marriage. If all else fails try to get hold of a womens refuge, and take your kids with you.

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hyder_maste offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Lahore, 04, PK | 5 years, 1 month ago (1 hour, 5 minutes after post)

just do it but before think
its future effects and if they are harmful think again atlast if think it better do it

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☆lilies☆ offline Verified User (6 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 years, 1 month ago (1 hour, 28 minutes after post)

The family (yours) could now be your primary source of help. Tell them you need their assistance for now that you are still in need of one like a place to stay, a job for you once you are on your own and the school for the kids.

Be strong for now, it is your strength that your kids are holding on to. You as the mother knows what’s best for your kids and to yourself. Divorce is not easy but you can do it now that you know staying apart is better than to stay with that abusive man.

You know your husband better than anyone else, so if you think you had enough, then you had enough. Good luck!

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Help me with: Well, I’m in a new place.
Anthel offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 years, 1 month ago (4 hours, 48 minutes after post)

I am not in something like this. I did grow up with a step-father that did the same thing. Listen to your family, not his. They are not just thinking of you. They are thinking of your kids. Maybe there are things going on that you don’t know about. There was when my step-dad was with my mom. I want to give you the aspect from a kid that grew up with a family that was like that. Whenever I saw my mom get beat and hit, I was terrified. I thought it was my fault because I couldn’t be a good boy. When my mom was scared, I was weak and I had no chance to help her.
The bastard needs to get his *** kicked. Please, if for nothing else, leave because your kids are being hurt as much as you when he hits you. Know, he could be touching your kids when you are gone. That has been the experience I havehad with all the guys that my mom was with who were abusive. They were offending on my sister and I.
R. Wiley

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Help me with: any one need any help?
Catty_Sue offline Verified User (5 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Perth, 08, AU | 5 years, 1 month ago (18 hours, 54 minutes after post)

Unfortunately, due to your religion you will lose your children to your husband. You are in a difficult situation. Talk more to family members and get alot of support from them. You did not say what country you are from or how old your children are?

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☆lilies☆ offline Verified User (6 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 years, 1 month ago (18 hours, 59 minutes after post)

wow, i did not know that, is there a law that makes the man keep the kids after divorce, i mean for muslims? Thanks for the info Catty.

gosh, hello anon, do keep us posted. Hang in there.

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Help me with: Well, I’m in a new place.

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