life help: I have been dealing with serious medical problems for the past 22 years of my life. - Help.com

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i feel for you… although my anxiety isnt for the surgeries that i see in my future… i feel the same way.. just by standing in front of a court house. and to walk into one.. i double over with pain and have to actually run straight to the bathroom…. its a horrible horrible feeling… the pounding of your heart.. the shortness of breath.. the horrible stomach aches and the sudden headaches… all caused by the fear of having to deal with the situation again.. over and over… as for coping with the symptoms and trying to rid yourself of these feelings.. i have no idea how to make them go away… but i do know how you feel.. (i think)… as for your surgeries.. im sssssssoooooooooo sorry that you have got to keep going through these.. i hope that you have a lot of support with you each time… as i know how scary it is to have surgery…

Wow! You are and have been facing a lot right, both mentally and physically. No wonder you are feeling a lot of anxiety.

I am not sure if any of this might help, but I offer it hoping that something might give you some sense of support:

I once heard somone say that people with cancer tend to suppress anxiety, fear, anger because they feel they have to “be strong.” How do you think those around you would feel if you were more verbal about your feelings. I mean, as you walk in the door of the hospital, admitting “you know today I am terrified”.. And maybe even screaming if you feel like it. Who said that you have to “be tough” at this point? You deserve to let everyone know how you feel. It may help to relieve the building tension and allow those around you to know exactly how you feel. I mean maybe even now you could shout “AAAAaaaahhhh!”

I was also told (when I was doing chemo– 13 yrs remission to date) to keep a journal. I wrote a lot in that journal– even drew– one picture is a black circle of crayon with a little me in the middle– that is how I felt, and it helped to express it that way. It also helped me to sort my thoughts and plan my survival strategies.

Someone I met in chemo always brought her own music with her–with headsets with all of her favorite upbeat music on it. It helped her to think of something else.

The other thing that someone told me is that there is a certin point when it is okay to be a cranky, demanding patient and to determine how things are going to go– to go into the situation saying “I want some valium, two warm blankets and quieter location before we start.”

Even with my experiences and the advice I heard, I do not have a clue either– you have suffered a lot. I’ll be hoping for you that you are able to tap that inner strength that has gotten you so far.

I am sure that tomorrow will be better. Just today and yesterday really got to me. Dr’s just have no idea of what half the tests they order feel like. I do like the idea of demanding warm blankets and a valium or an adivan. I am terriefied I start to have anxiety days befor just the preliminary appointment; no sleeping, lack of appetite, vomiting, diarriah anger at my family; the list goes on

After reading your post I understand why your feelings would be hurt. His actions of wincing are really disrespectfull. Can you sit down with him when your not upset about this and talk to him about it then. Or maybe ask him point blanck how he would like you to interpert it. How does it make him feel when his mother does it to him? Maybe he does realize that he is actually doing it.

Hello there, how are you feeling now? I am invited to this post and you know what, i don’t know what to say. But would it help if i tell you that you are being thought of today? I am dealing with a lot of anxieties which are enough for me to reach the verge of giving up and ask why it is happening to me. But look at you, you are strong in dealing all of this.

I hope you get the financial and emotional support from your family. Is your local government helping you out? Do you have children?

I remember my grandma before she got very sick, the only thing that kept her going on were her grandchildren and her children’s dogs. :)

I wish things will be better for you. Take care. Keep us posted.

Anonymous wrote:
I am sure that tomorrow will be better. Just today and yesterday really got to me. Dr’s just have no idea of what half the tests they order feel like. I do like the idea of demanding warm blankets and a valium or an adivan. I am terriefied I start to have anxiety days befor just the preliminary appointment; no sleeping, lack of appetite, vomiting, diarriah anger at my family; the list goes on

After reading your post I understand why your feelings would be hurt. His actions of wincing are really disrespectfull. Can you sit down with him when your not upset about this and talk to him about it then. Or maybe ask him point blanck how he would like you to interpert it. How does it make him feel when his mother does it to him? Maybe he does realize that he is actually doing it.

Thanks for the advice– you really are strong– helping others even when you are at wits end.

Drs. certainly do not know. Before my 2nd major cancer surgery the doctor gave me my %age chances of survival– and intentionally said “and it’s an ugly death” in order to make me more compliant (I was asking him about saving some organs in there for future bio kids).

And then he was mystified the day I arrived that I was crying uncontrollably! DUH! (He finally came in and promised that he would try to keep some things if it wasn’t in my lymph nodes (he probably knew it was >:-( ) I still call him dr. doodle-head. It was right after that when I began to read books and learn that I could be in charge– I refused to participate in a study of his, doing my own research to determine it might not help me enough to help me. I know I wasn’t being very altruistic, but when one’s life is at stake, I think it is okay to be a little selfish every once and awhile.

Anyway, hope today brought sunshine and strength. Let me know the week and day you are going, so I can send positive thought your way.

I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through all this. My loved ones laughed this past new year’s when I said I was giving up surgeries as my resolution. I too have had cancer (chordoma). I had to have a hysterectomy 3 years ago and had a benign tumor in the uterus. It was hard enough working through the emotions of cancer but when you then follow that with female stuff, you have to deal with hormones as well. Surgeries leave you feeling sick and you are right - I am so tired of being poked, stuck with needles and put through the testing then worrying until results come back.

I have White Coat Syndrome from bad diagnosis and if you ask the medical people - I am a very bad patient just because I am tired of someone trying to take blood or put in an IV and hurting me so I tell them exactly what to do and I make them give me a little shot of lidacaine before any IVs so I don’t feel it. I’ve learned a lot of tricks to not having to feel it but it is still hard.

My coping skills got so low that I started looking for help and that is how I came across help.com. i am not sure where you live but if you live in the U.S., google The Wellness Center and see if there is one near you. They offer free services for cancer patients - counseling, groups, classes - exercise, yoga, dancing, etc. and all sorts of good things to help deal with the changes to our lives. I have looked them up and I am lucky they have a few locations near me but I haven’t actually gotten out to do it yet. They also help with stress management techniques which helps coping skills to work on reducing stress.

Take care sweetie and I know how you feel. Someone even gave me these books “Getting Out of the Hospital Alive” and I think the other one is “M.D. as Medical Deity” - something like that! You have rights and just tell them you are not a human pin cushion and you are tried and overwhelmed. They need to know that. If you have health insurance (I do not any longer), you can maybe call and see if they have a resource you can talk to (like a nurse manager who can answer questions or help you communicate with the doctors about how you’re feeling.

I am sorry that you have has so much trouble, and I understand your anxiety. One thing that might be of help is to take a valerian before going for your appt. That is a natural herb, that is non habit forming, and will relax you. I take them to help me sleep. If you decide to give this a try, get a bottle from Walmart - $5.00
and try one before hand, so that you know how they affect you, so you will be prepared. There are several herbal blends of tea on the market also, that are relaxing, that might help.

Also, I have enjoyed a book by Joyce Meyer, called Be Anxious for Nothing.

Thirdly, I highly rec. prayer, and here are some places where you can post requests, if you believe in it:

wjcr.org click on prayer

godswork.org

dailyguidepost.org

Blessings……