Help help: I need help to stop myself from hurting myself @ all please help - Help.com

how do you hurt yourself?

Whenever you think about hurting yourself, just do something else. Play a game, read a book, write in a journaldiary, or take a walk. But the best thing to do is talk to a professional about it.

that’s harsh. :[

I didn’t..

i read one of them, not all of it, but some. you’ve been depressed since 5th grade and now you’re in college?

if it’s been that long, you really really need to see a therapist or someone. I know it’s intimidating at first, but once you go for a while, you’ll feel so much better.

have you seen therapists? on meds?

What happened when you were in the 5th grade? If you feel like talking about it?

do you know what causes your depression? or what triggers it?

I am sorry to hear that you are so depressed. But erinum is right, if you are that depressed you should see a therapist. I have attempted suicide in my past and I am seeing a counselor and I find that I am able to cope with my depression more efficiently because I am seeing someone for my depression.

It sounds like you need someone to talk to. You are welcome to give me a shout any time.

yeah, what did happen in fifth grade to cause all this? :(

maybe your doctor needs to change your medication. the hand shaking thing (unless you’re shaking other people’s hands, in which case you should enter politics).

I take Cymbalta and I find that it is really helpful. Have you ever been on that?

do you think it would have been better if they had held you back?

I’m sorry.

does that make you feel like an outsider?

Do you feel depressed because of that?

Starting therapy is a really good start. It seems like something traumatic may have happened that triggered depression. I am not a therapist so just know I only speak from my experience with life.

Being held back a grade is sometimes better is something happened that caused you to suffer in learning before moving on in grades but I am sure your parents had your best interests. Perhaps the way the school handled it has left emotional scars or some type of embarassment. You should not feel bad about that. It says something that the depression started that long ago and you’re still alive and reaching out.

What do you think it would take for you to feel happy?

i once had a roommate who was 80% deaf. his speech was somewhat impaired. he struggled with self-esteem because of it. but then he did marry and have kids and has had a pretty good life.

Did something happen to your parents?

Hey I have hiv/ almost died of aids two years ago and now I have a salivary gland disease which prevents me from making enough saliva, I had to quit my job and everything because of it and Im still here…screw debt its your health that matters

75 is about average for a 7 year old kid. if you weighed that now, there’d be a serious problem

getting active might make you feel better. i’m not saying skinny, because i think it’s overrated.

:>

how did he respond?

he’s your dad, so yeah, he’s going to be a little mad if you tell him that all of a sudden, because he loves you to death. :)

i’m a dad. i don’t think mad is how i would feel. very upset, yes, and it might seem like mad.
your parents love you.
maybe your dad and you could go for walks, or join a health club. i’m sure you are concerned about his health if he’s up to 300 now.

it’d be good if you both decided to heal yourselves together. :D

my mom is 75 and she goes to a health club called curves everyday.

This is just my opinion sweetie but I think the only thing that matters is that we learn to love and accept ourselves. I have physical limitations and can not do many things I used to enjoy. I lost my Dad to cancer in 2005 and buried him on my birthday and many people didn’t know exactly how I felt about it until I started to talk about it. It was my 45th birthday that I buried my Dad and I am so grateful that I had 45 years with him. I had friends who lost their Dad as children. I was 42 when they found the spinal tumor and while I can’t work anymore, I have looked for other ways to feel useful and figure out how to work on stress relief and how to be happy.

I think you need to figure out what would it take for you to accept that you are perfect just the way you are? What would it take for you to be happy again? You can get a bike and ride it, if that is what makes you happy. You can still spend time with your Dad. Just keep in mind that maybe he can’t do all the things he did when you were young. I don’t think things like weight or physical appearance are what is most important. True beauty comes from a different place and that is all people see - your true beauty - when you are happy. It radiates the best parts of you out to the world.

The last six years have been hard for me and my coping skills reached that place where they were no longer working but I know life is a gift and every time I conquer some obstacle, I can feel my own strength and know I can get through things never imagined.

I suspect there is more to your story when you were in the 5th grade and it is okay if you aren’t comfortable talking about that here. Therapy is a great place to do that. The more you talk bout it, the more you’ll start to heal and then it gets easier. I’m sorry that you are in this pain. I am hopeful that you’ve held on this long and I know you won’t give up!

that was beautiful, kneady.

abbott would you mind if i added you as a friend?

You’re welcome! I grew up around many alcoholics and I can share this. I think if someone feels the need to drink every night, more than one drink, then they carry some inner pain. My Dad was an alcoholic. We talked about that once and I explained my concerns and what I thought it was doing to his health. He said something that really made great sense to me.

He said - Smoking cigarettes and drinking beer are things that make me happy. He said this is my life and as long as I am not hurting anyone else, then you should be happy to see that I am living life in a way that brings me joy and peace.

The sad part is that there is only one person we have any control over and that is ourself. We can’t make anyone else change, not even someone we love. We have to accept people as they are. But I did have 45 years with my Dad and I know at some point, as I was able to get him to open up a little and talk to me, he gradually cut back on drinking and he stopped smoking all together.

I think it is good that you were finally able to tell him what you are feeling and doing to hurt yourself. What a great start! I would guess since you recognized a change in both of you that perhaps he is also feeling some of the hard stuff you’re feeling. Maybe you could ask the therapist if you could bring your Dad to a session and you could talk together and figure out a new plan. It is so much easier beating depression when you have someone there to support you and hold you up on those days you feel weak. That is what friends and family do for us. So maybe ask your Dad how he feels in your next conversation and see if he’d like to go to the counselor with you. Tell him you want his help with your healing and leave any issues you think he’s facing out of it, if that is what it takes to get him there.

Remind him of how proud and loved you felt when they tried to hold you back but he wouldn’t let them. Tell him that is what you need now. Life is trying to hold you back and you need him to help you move forward.

Does anyone here know the best resource to help with getting a new hearing aid?

Here are some tips from a website on how to stop hurting yourself:

If you feel the urge to injure yourself, below is a list of suggestions that might help you to overcome that urge. Please be advised that not all of these suggestions will be helpful to everyone. What is helpful to one person, may not be helpful to someone else. These suggestions have been provided by individuals who self injured and what they found helpful to them. If you feel that a certain suggestion may in fact cause you to want to self injure even more, do NOT use that suggestion. Find ones that are helpful for you. Again, these are only suggestions and may not be helpful to everyone.

deep breathing
relaxation techniques
call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line
try not be be alone (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.)
take a hot bath
listen to music
go for a walk
write in a journal
wear an elastic around wrist and snap it when you have the urge to harm yourself
some people find it helpful to draw red lines on themselves with washable markers instead of cutting themselves
hold ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful (some people find it relieves the urge to harm themselves for that moment)
punching a bed or a pillow (when nothing but a physical outlet for your anger and frustration will work).
scratch draw a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at the piece of wood. (can be another physical way to release your emotions without harming yourself.)
avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area in CVS where the razor blades are kept, etc.)
try to find your own creative ways as outlets for emotions.
learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside
go outside and scream and yell
take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc.)
work with paint, clay, play-doo, etc. (the person who suggested this mentioned that they would make a big sculpture and do whatever they wanted to it. They said it was helpful to calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gave them some idea of what might be underlying the pain.
draw a picture of what or who is making you angry
instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect
go to church or your place of worship
wear a pipe cleaner or something that will fit on the places that you injure. One person did this as a way to remind herself that she could call someone instead of hurting herself and that she had other ways to cope.
break the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it.
write a letter to the person(s) that have hurt you and express how they made you feel. Theses letters do not have to be in perfect form and you do not have to please anyone but yourself. You do not have to give these letters to the people, but it is a great way to release the feelings that you are carrying within. After you write the letters, you can decide then what to do with them. Some people find destroying the letters help (i.e. tear them up, throw them in a lake, etc.)

do some household chores (i.e. cleaning)
do some cooking
try some sewing, crossstitch, etc.
recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you multiple times
write down all your positive points and why you do not deserve to be hurt
write in your journal why you want to hurt yourself and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happenings - or find out what your triggers were
Play some kind of musical instrument. Even if you don’t really know how to play, picking out tunes is a way to concentrate and help get rid of the urge to harm yourself.
yoga
allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can make you feel better. It allows the inside to release, as opposed to self abuse. Picture your “ickies” pouring out as you cry.
Take a shower
write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, lonely, angry) and continue to write it down, over and over. Sometimes when you do that, the words looks silly etc., and it puts humor or a smile in your life.
sing a song on what you are feeling. It’s another way to get it outside. Shout if you are made, etc. Let the words just come to you.
Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It’s a way to diffuse it on to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don’t tear.)
Take item you are self injurying with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what “can” be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of “doing it”…the tangible aspect.
Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop cutting. Every time you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself why you shouldn’t. Also remember to put on that list that you do not deserve to hurt yourself. You are important and special and you do not deserve to be hurt.

http://www.mirror-mirror.org/selfinj.htm