Love help: My boyfriend’s depression has recently worsened very quickly. - Help.com

I’m sorry you are suffering. It’s painful to watch a loved one with mental illness. Ultimatly, it is up to him to find the discipline necessary to climb out of it. A combination of medication and lifestyle that takes years to master and find balance with. But what I hear you suffering with is a kind of co-dependance. If he were an addict, I’d suggest something like Al- Anon, but this is different. However, the principles you must need to adopt are the same. You cannot enable his depression. Do not read CAUSE it, because you didn’t, and couldn’t. But hovering, or playing into the depression can make it worse. I found the following with little effort. Call a mental health facility in your area for further suggestions.

Avoid placing blame and guilt.
Seek the support, understanding, and relief you need. Remember, you must keep yourself healthy and able to cope because you, the family member, are the one most able to pursue the needed services for your loved one.
Continue your own outside interests; there is more to life than mental illness. Schedule time for yourself; include some physical exercise. Maintain your own mental health.
Remember other family members also are affected, and they probably are experiencing denial, guilt, and depression just as you may be. Keep communication open by talking with them about these feelings.
Learn all you can about the illness and make such information available to all the family, including the ill member..
Do not be afraid or ashamed to acknowledge that you are the relative of a mentally ill person. This is the first step in removing the stigma attached to mental illness.
Find out about benefits and support systems while things are going well — don ‘t wait for a crisis.
Consider joining a self-help group for families. You need the support of others who really understand what you are going through.

Look after YOU the best that you can. If you are a good example, he will follow.

Hey, just want to say that you’re positive attitude is just awesome!

I was and currently still am an individual with clinical depression. I was kind of like your boyfriend that I didn’t trust my therapist, and to be honest, sometimes they aren’t very much help. My therapist actually almost lead me in the completely wrong direction to the point where I actually almost did commit suicide. I’m not saying that that’s where you’re boyfriend’s heading, but you both should watch out for that. The best thing for me when I was just diagnosed with depression was to be in comfortable places with comfortable people and if being with a therapist is bothering him, it might be a good idea to find another therapist or to continue just talking between yourselves.

As for the medication, when I started out taking it, I had the idea that I was weak and that my life could only be perfect because of some small insignificant pill. I had to realize later that I did have a disorder and it wasn’t because I was weak, or because I was some over-emotional guy… it was actually what you said: it’s a chemical problem just like other disorders such as diabetes.

Tell your boyfriend that he’s no different of a person than who he was before; he’s still the great guy who he is. It’s just that now he has a chemical imbalance in his brain that’s a bump in the road but that can be patched up not just with pills, but with hope and love.

Hope everything turns out well! Take care!

hats off to u gal…..!!make him feel as normal as possible…he’s no different….just request ur frnds to do the same….it wud b better & fast healing if he felt better & cared by many people rather than u alone…..but u gotta be there for him….just stay there…u r doing grt…..

Thank you all for the positive support! Just today I did take more time for myself and by seeking more and more information I am feeling more able to stay myself and support him by showing him is still HIM. I appreciated the information you posted “anonymous” and also the first hand experience Moose. Helping me be positive is greatly appreciated!