my girlfriend died suddenly 4 months ago.
She was 24 years old when she had a massive saddle pulmonary embolism. I am heart broken. I tried to seek help but doctors and therapists are telling me it’s just the normal grieving process. I feel so human. I feel like a failure. Nobody seems to know how I truely feel. Nothing is the same as before. I have a completely different outlook on life. I don’t see purpose. I don’t see meaning. I feel hurt, pain, and deep sorrow for what has happend. Big changes are suddenly spiraling out of control. I’m losing my house. I don’t speak to my family anymore. My friends seem to be gone. I’m drinking and smoking every night.
Two weeks before my girlfriend died, my best friend Jeff died (oversdose). A month and a half after my girlfriend died my dog died (old age). What’s the point? What am I suppose to do? I don’t want to play this game anymore. I’m beat down. I’m tired. I need help, but don’t want to tell family and friends. Therapists and doctors won’t listen. I don’t know what to do.
Since writing this post areacode61 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. areacode61 is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 8 months and has 2 posts and 1 replies to their name.
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I’m sorry to hear.
Just let time ease your pain.
♥ i’m sorry love
i don’t know how to comfort you
but i just want you to know i care about you and hope you can find beauty in this life again
It seems like everything bad is happening to you at once and you cant copr up with all of it at once, so take small steps towards recovery. There really wasnt much you could do bout any of their deaths, and the only thing you can do now is grieve which is quite normal. You arent a failure, you havent done anything wrong, you are just doin wat coms naturally and thats perfectly ok. Talk to a therapist that understands you and your situation and will listen. Your friends arent really gone, in the haze of confusion they just seem to be gone, i am pretty sure they will be there to help you out if you seek their help. I hope you make it out of this state, good luck!
loseing some one is hard! and I know there are no words to ease your pain. you said “I feel so human” I was wondering what you meant by that?? take care.
I am very sorry to hear of your loss. The death of your girlfriend was a grievous loss. You are right to feel depressed and to question the meaning of it all. I do not have “magic words” to make your pain suddenly go away, but I can tell you a few things: first, you are a mortal human being who does not have power over death. You could not prevent any of those people from dying. Secondly, every living thing on this earth will eventually die–the people, the animals, the plants. If you go into a cemetery, you will see graves of people who mourned others before they, too, died. YOU will eventually die–but you knew that, right? So did your girlfriend. So does everybody else. Fortunately, death was conquered by our Lord. This may sound hollow and meaningless to you right now, but it is a truth you must eventually embrace. Yes, it is a TRUTH! If you will take ownership of that truth you will have all that you have lost restored to you. Now, your girlfriend, your best friend, and even your dog wants you to live in a way as to take ownership of that truth, so they will see you again. No, this is not just some “feel good” talk or hocus-pocus, it is about the Son of the Living God sacrificing His own life so that we would be freed from eternal death. You are, my friend, on a spiritual journey, and others have already completed that journey. Seek God, and do things with your life to honor those who loved you and have gone before you. You have a purpose and a plan to fulfill in this life that you have not yet discovered. I would not try to give you false hope or tell you these things if they were not true. There is an outpouring of love for you from heaven that you merely need to claim. Allow the Holy Spirit–the “Comforter” left with us–to comfort you. Yes, you will know pain for some time. You will doubt, and you will be angry with God. Work through these things and seek the kingdom of heaven, where every tear shall be wiped away and all good things will be restored to you. Find a church, my friend, and find companions to walk with on your spiritual journey. And know–know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the grave is not the end of the road, but only its beginning.
I just teared up reading what you posted. I feel what you feel. All of it. I figured it would help to know your not alone. My Brother died 5 months ago. I have no answers I just hold on to my memories and the love I have for him. Try your best to be strong always remember your not alone even though it feels that way. I have to believe that. Hope.
“I need help, but don’t want to tell family and friends.”
You need to tell them. They are your closest relationships in your time of need. Do NOT bottle it up, talk to them. I know it’s hard, and you seem like everything’s gone, but it can only improve from here.
time doesnt heal pain, but it will help it lessen.
im more of an optomistic person. well for the most part at least. it does seem though, like so many people i know are dying. for a while i thought i was cursed. i almost broke up with my bf because i didnt want him at risk.
my daughter was killed in september by a drunk driver (her father). my uncle died after a long fight with gleobalstoma multiform stage 4. a friend i grew up with was killed by someone who fell asleep at the wheel on his way to school. one of my really close friends went off to college and a few weeks into it the seniors threw a “welcome party” but it was really a hazing thing that went terribly wrong; the freshmens drinks were spiked so they all passed out, the senior lit the house on fire, my friend was killed. my best friend was hit by a semi while she was home visiting her family, the semi driver was drunk, and ran her car over killing her, her husband, and son and this happend on my 20th birthday. my mom was just killed because a drunk driver t-boned her car. my dad is in the hospital fighting for his life right now and isnt aloud visitors. i miscarried twins at 7 months. sadly, the list goes on… mind you this has all happend between october 2007 and 2 weeks ago.
the only reason i am so strong is because of God honestly. just try to take each day one at a time and it will get better.
Thank you everyone.
I found help.com today on my own. I’m very grateful I did. You all are wonderful. Thank you so much for caring.
im soo sory to hear about your girlfriend.
iv lost alot of important people to me, i lost my best friend and its not easy getting over it. you just have to try and move on and try and enjoy life even if the person you cared about most has gone. your life is short so enjoy it while u can, it may be hard but its the only way you can get over it.
Hi, I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your girlfriend. You are very young to have this kind of loss and it must all seem extremely unfair at the moment., usually one might think that in your 20’s that you would have a much longer life span, but as I’ve found out also that this is not always the case.There is a website called youngwido.com I think that may be of some comfort to you. It will take a lot of time to heal and begin to feel like a human being again but don’t give up and there will be a time when you are ready to meet someone new in your future and you can start again, it won’t be easy but there are other people out there that will be pleased to know you when you are ready.You might want to contact a church in your area and see a little counceling for what you have gone through.Hang in there my friend, there are a lot of us in the same situation and with time it will get better. Sincerly, Herb
Hi, I hope i am not too late to respond. I know how you feel, your world feels dark and insecure, but you must realize that life is about God, and God can guide you through life without obstacles. Give yourself to him and he shall show you the way. Everything in life is pre-determined and happens for a reason whether it be good or bad. Something miraculous is coming your way, you just have to be patient and suffer the misfortunes that you are receiving at the moment, but in the end, everything will be glorified.
God Bless you.
I know what you’re going through. My girlfriend died of cancer about a week ago. She was 19. I just hope you know that even if it feels you are alone, there are people out there who have been through it. The way I plan to keep moving on is to just think of it like this , “she isn’t around anymore so I have to be strong enough for the both of us.” I hope this helps you.
hi friend i also lost my girlfriend. she died on march 22, 2011 its and i feel that i will also die soon . actually i want to die so that i can be with her in heaven. but i remember the last thing she told me “live ur life and fall in love again” i want to live just for her. but i am not sure that i will be able to fall in love again. each day is so long for me. i see her everywhere. i feel her each second . i keep crying whole day but still the sorrow and the pain wont go away ..i am totally devastated. but i am fighting and trying to live just for my girlfriend. i spend more time in praying to god. i keep questioning him “why me?”.
My Girlfriend had heart issuses she is very sick with it her valves dont pump right so really she can die at anytime idk what to do i love her so much and i fear something has happened to her i dont have a reply to the txt … yesterday i heard a random song i just died in your arms tonight and i could swear i heard a female voice saying i love you in like a haunted ghost voice i think shes trying to tell me something i love her so much and im so sorry for the person who posted this i will b the same exact way when my girlfriend passes its not right i understnad your pain my girlfriend sayd she wants me to move on if anything happens but i dnt think i can its impossible so has my heart and i love her so ******* much
My girl friend passed away a couple of weeks ago. She was my life. I was going to ask her to marry me. But I didn’t get the chance. Yesterday I lost my job. I don’t no what to do. I’m lost
I’m 21, just lost her. I was totally in love, and although I can’t keep my eyes dry long enough to do anything I am finding peace in this: I beleive everyone has a purpose and path, from which they cannot wander. So for billions of years since the dawn of time, all her ancestors have been pushing toward this moment, every single person on her mom and dad’s side sucessfully passed on life so that I would have that time with her. I’m heartbroken her path ends where mine intersects it, but I’ve got my own path and I’ll carry her with me for the rest of my journey, and I’ll get to see her when I’m done
I just lost my best girlfriend suddenly, she had sjorgrens, didn’t like medication, butt I know she didn’t just pass away from that. My phone has stopped ringing, people are rude, people can’t tell us how to feel. My dear friend would have had to give these people a reality check. Her 13 year old son went to kiss her goodbye to get on the bus and found her, he is forever going to blame himself. Our daughter was their nanny, she was also a best friend to my dear girlfriend. Her ex husband isn’t calling us, he said he would need us for the kids, I think we are too much like her for him to get over this also. We would talk on the phone for 8 to 10 hour days on the weekends, they are not the same, our phone doesn’t ring any more. we are lost sad, sick and we have the same hardships as her, never knowing if my husband will get a job in his field again, never knowing why?? We all are sad…..we need to talk, keep talking about our loved ones, never would we have seen this happen. People are cruel. R.I.P. CAROL
So to all of us who have lost someone, stay strong, and remember they LOVED US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look, I am sorry for your loss and hope that it all comes well. I am of a young age and could not possibly understand the extent of your traumas but I wish for you this; Your emotions as you exrpressed them seem contained or held in. I know it’s hard for you to do this but tell someone. I find that when your emotions are contained you tend to hold on to them and grieve them for a long time. Recognize your girlfriends previous presence as good and fulfilled. Do not contain her grieves in just doing so you are being selfish with the fact that it is her that ‘you’ want in your life. Is this what she would have wanted to see you like? Or would she like to have seen you moving on, not totally forgetting about her but remembering her as a wonderful time in your life that you where blessed by. If you hold on to your memories those times will never come again, if you do let your memories and emotions out those times will come again. Good Luck :)
Hello, Im very sorry for your loss, I know how you feel, I found the love of my life in 2002 by chance she was from London UK. Im from USA East coast, after being lonely for a long time I found my one and only. On Jan. 22nd 2005 I was told my girlfriend passed away from complications from a Brain Tumor she went into a coma a few days after she underwent surgery for the brain tumor. The saddest part is I was not there to be with her, in her last moments, Her family would not tell me anything, I did not even know she was sick untill after the fact. I got a letter, in the mail, I don’t even know where she is buried. its been 8 years and and I still can’t get over it. Ive never dated anyone since. I don’t know if your religious or what faith you belong to but I like to think she is waiting for me up in Heaven waiting for the day I will join her and than nothing can separate us and we will be togeather for eternity …. God Bless. Shawn
its odd, my close friend just died from an overdose two days ago, im online looking for answers, im confused on how to react, i broke down earlier today in public, and was embarrassed that i was crying, yet no matter how hard i tried i couldnt stop. it hit me like a ton of bricks, when i found out it was almost like it was just a rumor to me, my mind couldnt believe it, and when it really hit me, man it is hard, even now im still trying to hold it all back. anyway, hearing others suggestions to you help, and i know this post was a long time ago, but i just felt the need to say that these people replying, do help a little. im sorry for your loss, they say it gets easier, i hope so, because its really hard right now.
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