My 18 year old sister passed away in January and i have attempted suicide 4 times.
I’ve been to the mental health unit, counselors, and medication and nothings working. I’ve lost 20 pounds and don’t sleep anymore. Is there any thing left I can do. PLEASE HELP…
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All I can think of…
Religion, art and self-searching.
Getting through it is all up to you, now. Even though I can’t even imagine how hard it is just waking up in the morning…
Those therapies and counseling sessions can only do so much. You hold the most power over yourself.
Well, I want to say that I’m sorry for your loss… that’s definitely something very harsh to have happen to you, but I definitely want you to keep hanging in there, alright?
I just want to let you know that I truly do hope your life will turn out better. Please don’t try to commit suicide at all. I’m sure your sister would rather have you smiling than frowning. One thing that I’ve found that can work wonders is praying. If you do or if you don’t currently believe in God, that’s okay. Just try praying; it’s a means of releasing what you feel to someone that won’t judge you, yet you still feel like someone’s listening.
I’m sorry if I’m not much help, but I hope things will soon go your way. Just hang in there and show your sister that you can still smile… she’ll like that!
Take care, buddy.
So your saying after going through that hard time. Seeing all you saw at the funeral and everything that you have seen people go through after the fact that you are going to put your friends and family through it all over again. Suicide is selfish and after witnessing all that how can you think that would be a good idea. What good would come of it. I’ve never been dead but there is no guarantees that when you leave this world its all roses right off. Especially for a suicide. I am very sorry for the loss of you sister and I know things seem to hard right now. There is a reason for you being here even if you don’t know what it is and trust me that reason isn’t to waste a bullet. You will see your sister again but when it’s the right time. Honor your sisters life by living yours to the fullest. Helping others when you can and doing it for her. Don’t disgrace her life by taking your own. Trust me you sister would not want you to do that and you know it. I’m here for you. The whole world is here for you. When I die I know want to leave this world better because I was a part of it. At the very least I want to leave it no better or no worse for me living. You can get through this and you can leave this world as a positive influence. Your sister can live through your life.
thank you for all your help
HUMOR! I swear it works. Developing a sense of humor. Looking at the funny things or the things that made you happy.
On another note..
I used to be depressed. I still struggle with it here and there. The one thing that really helped was something suggested to me. Ironically this person was someone I didn’t get along with well and I could tell she was really trying to help. It did.
What you do is keep a journal. Write in it everyday. You are ONLY allowed to write the highlights of your day. Another rule is that you MUST write at least one thing every day. In the beginning it was so hard for me. “I never had highlights in my day.” But starting out with the little things like “my favorite song came on the radio” or “my highlight today was looking at pictures and remembering the good times”…WHATEVER. When I first started out I would write barely a sentence a day. It’s been over a year now and I’ve already written through a full journal. Be greatful for the little things in life and it helps you appriciate it so much more. Just remember to keep it positive and so when you look back on the journal all you can see is the good in your life.
hey, um i know this will sound sick but if you have attempted for times and have not yet succeeded then there must be a strong part of you that does not want to go, think about this carefully it is not the end of the world, if i died i would not want my brother to act like this i’d be devastated so think of what your sister would want. Try saying goodbye to her make a memorial and give yourself time, trust me these feelings never fully go away she will allways be in your thoughts but you can get through this xx.
Hey, it’s perfectly normal to feel thoroughly devastated and helpless when a loved one passes…and the thought that you don’t want to live any more automatically crosses your mind. Religion has helped me to come to terms with my loss.
If you follow a religion, then maybe seek their assistance in helping you to deal with and come to terms with this grief. My religion has taught me that every living object has an appointed time and date stamped on their forehead while still in their mothers’ womb. This is their appointed time of death and cannot be changed (unless by suicide). No amount of you being there or her being here would have changed the fact that she would have died at the time and date that she did, for this had already been decided and written. I don’t know why these things happen; they just do and we have to pick up the pieces of our shattered lives and limp on, all alone and depressed. Have you seen this quote?
“It isn’t the person who is beaten that fails, but the person who lies down.”
I have found that bereavement counselling is a very good way of getting those feelings out of your system and rationalizing them. You say that counselling hasn’t worked, but maybe you haven’t yet found the right counsellor who you can ‘click’ with?
Your sister would be devastated seeing you this way. I believe that the dead never leave our side, it’s just that we can’t perceive them. Also, your sister’s death will have caused devastation to the family, which you can understand being also part of that family. Why then subject these poor souls to the same torment again willingly, by killing yourself? Can you imagine the effect on the poor family that you’ll leave behind? Two children with the same fate? And you’ll die and be looking at them from above, in their overwhelming tears and grief, unable to console them or hug them or communicate to them in any way, just sat there watching them go mad helplessly? Is this what you want for your parents? Is this how you show your love for them?
You can’t do this to them and yes, it would be very selfish of you. This grief is not just yours. Rather, you need to stick together now and help each other through these times of immense difficulty.
Seeing that death is so close and could come upon any one of us at any point unannounced should confirm to you how valuable this life is and how we should not take this life, nor our loved ones for granted and live each day as if it were our last.
I’m not telling you to close your eyes and pretend that everything’s normal; it’s far from that. But what I’m asking you to instead do is to maybe consider what she would have wanted had she been alive. Your suicide is not the answer…and if it’s to be closer to her, then since nobody has died and returned from there to report back, there are no guarantees that killing yourself will reconcile you with her in any case. Misery all around.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. May your sister’s soul rest in peace- Ameen. Feel free to shout/ add me as a friend anytime. I pray that things get easier for you and you figure out a way forward through all of this…
Love n hugs,
Cookie Xx
Hello, HUGS, You have such courage, and strength, I can’t imagine what you must be going through.
You mentioned you have tried four times… and you are still here and healthy… is seems to me that someone wants you to remain because you are a gift to others.
Not many people can do what you do, helping special needs children. Often times these people go unnotices, and go about life without a voice. I am sure some of them wish they could take thier own lives because they must be so confused and question themselves why they are this way and why others aren’t.
You can speak for them in the sense that you give them hope. You show them by your example how others are not all hypocrites and abusive, and take advantage of those who are weak physically and mentally. You are hope and you shine it when you are around them.
I suspect it is something that you like to do, but the pain inside you of loosing your sister is very great, and it’s overtaking your thoughts and everyday life.
It may be painful for you to talk about, but perhaps on her birthday or the ann of her death, you can instead celebrate the life she had instead of mourning it.
Bake a cake for those you help, and those you love on that day of your choosing, and share happy memories of her, and ask those of thier fondest memories of someone they love… end the celebration by everone holding a balloon with a message of love attached to it, and send it off into the sky… as a symbol of you send out love, you will get it back in return… someday… where there’s hope, there is possibilites….
if you ever need to chat, please just give a shout.
Please just try to take one day at a time… try to focus on the love and the life your sister had, the good times… and walk in grace… your life still has meaning without her, because you carry her with you in your heart… don’t loose sight of that. Your bond you have is not broken… it’s just a little more distant that what it was… you still carry the love you have for her inside… empower that feeling… not sorrow.
I want to thank everyone for there help and support. I think the reason it hurt me the worst we had to pull the plug on her vent and watch her pass. But it will just take time thanks again
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