Love help: closed. - Help.com

sounds like you guys need to go to the police and get his step father locked up, sounds like a thug.

if you recognise his voice call him and if you know its him talk to him. otherwise think of a reason you could be calling and pretend then try again a few days later

thanx just let me know how it works out i feel worried for him now

Doesn’t matter what his mum thinks. Often victims of domestic violence etc. will to be too afraid to speak out against it. She might not want him to go to jail but it sounds like he needs it.

just sound as normal as posible on the fone and see if this boy is there n keep sendin him emails. if i was in this situation i would want som1 to call me or email me if i was scared for my life

Does she know about the abuse herself? I suppose one way would be to try and get more people involved, get security in numbers and preferably ppl who can fight in case anything goes wrong and this guy tries to do something. Try and help her to get away from him completely even if its only temporary, this will let her see things from a different perspective.

Ring his house phone anonomously, look their family up in the phonebook if you have to, ask to speak to him about a school asignment or something.

i agree if you can’t find his cell phone number search him in the phone book i dont know how to ring anonomously in america SORRY

Well over here, you just dial 141 before you dial the number and they can’t trace you. Don’t know what you do in the U.S

How come you don’t know it? Everybody knows 141 in england! Ask your mom X

What is the nature of the abuse? Did you know that you can call Child Protective Services and “tip them off”? What would be best, though, is to talk to a guidance counselor at your school or to a pastor. Do not even think about getting a “posse” to go over and confront his stepfather. This is something that must be handled by the authorities. But let me ask you this: is the stepfather simply strict, maybe somewhat overbearing, or does he physically or verbally abuse your friend? Why was your friend’s internet and phone access restricted? Is there some behavior on your friend’s part that could be driving his parents up the wall? Something to file away in your memory banks: stepparenting is the most thankless job in the world. No matter what you do, you will always come in second to the biological father or mother, no matter how worthless the biological parent may be.

*hugs* Erin… sorry you’re so worried… now I understand what all this is about!!! He’s probably OK, just going through a lot of stuff ??

Let us know what you find out when you call. Maybe his parents cut him off from his cell phone too, and that’s why you haven’t heard from him??

Sorry your counselor was unresponsive. See what you can find out without exposing yourself to any risk or danger, and then talk to the child protective people if there is really abuse going on. If the stepfather has a record for domestic violence, he can be put away for a long time. The problem, of course, is that the family may suffer economically with a breadwinner sitting in the slammer–another problem with how our society deals with these issues. Perhaps your friend could simply move in with another relative. Just because his mother is willing to accept abuse is no reason that he should have to accept it.

OK, Erinum–this is how the system works. If the cops arrest your friend’s stepfather, that’s not likely going to be a place he can stay any longer. He would then–most likely–be placed in a foster home, unless his mother gets a restraining order against the stepfather. If she does that, he will not be able to have contact with the family. In the meantime, your friend’s family may suffer loss of economic support and get kicked out of their dwelling. He could be ordered to support his wife and stepson by a court, but it’s a long and involved process. Ideally, the whole family should go in for counseling, but with arrogant and violent people that’s not usually an option. Now, it may very well be that the stepfather has some decent relatives who could let the boy stay with them. It would be best if the boy initiated the actions to make things like that happen. HE is going to be the one to suffer the consequences of any actions. None of this is to say that he should continue to be abused, whatever that means. Our society still doesn’t do well with these issues, and a lot of people are suffering as a result.

But there is… ending the abuse before anything worse happens!! There is some help available to her through the government, if he gets arrested…

And I’m wondering why she told her son that they’d be divorced in a couple of years. Does she have a job?? She must see a way out, even if two years is too long to wait….

I don’t see why he’d end up in foster care when his mother is there for him… I mean, assuming the marriage is over and done with!!

As far as consequences… personally I think that he’d be better off away from that kind of father, no matter what…

I think the father will have to pay up, just that it could take some time… but still one can’t just turn away and tolerate physical abuse and violence for reasons of income. I think they will manage somehow with out him, and have much greater peace of mind.

Ahhh, so he is useless financially too… OK, even easier…

OK, so this stepfather is basically a “deadbeat,” not contributing to the family’s upkeep. So if he is out of the picture, the family won’t necessarily starve or get kicked out of their home. Now, I don’t know if “abuse” means punching your friend, or verbally abusing him, or what . . . but that’s not a healthy environment. The mother is complicit if she allows the abuse to take place. I said “foster care” before because BOTH parents could be found guilty of “child endangerment.” If one parent abuses and the other tolerates it, then both can be held liable. One other option: your friend could get help in petitioning a court to become an “emancipated minor.” He could then live with some other family until he is out on his own. Resources–pastors, guidance counselors, legal aid society, Salvation Army, etc. Back where I used to live there would be “vigilante” action in this case. A bunch of guys would drag the deadbeat stepfather into the street and give him a world-class beating. That was enough for most people–they really would straighten up after that! Can’t say that was the best way, but it was before the days of social workers and it got very good results! Tell you what–tell your friend to talk to a priest or pastor if nothing else. Keep talking until one of them helps him! The Catholic Franciscans are very good in this regard!

I’m sorry, but I don’t really know what I would do in this kind of situation. :(