death help: The Sandpiper - Help.com

The Sandpiper

by Robert Peterson

She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live.
I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world
begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or something
and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.

“Hello,” she said.

I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.

“I’m building,” she said.

“I see that. What is it?” I asked, not really caring.

“Oh, I don’t know, I just like the feel of sand.”

That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.

A sandpiper glided by.

“That’s a joy,” the child said.

“It’s a what?”

“It’s a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy.”

The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself,
hello pain, and turned to walk on. I was depressed, my life seemed
completely out of balance.

“What’s your name?” She wouldn’t give up.

“Robert,” I answered. “I’m Robert Peterson.”

“Mine’s Wendy… I’m six.”

“Hi, Wendy.”

She giggled. “You’re funny,” she said.

In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on.
Her musical giggle followed me.

“Come again, Mr. P,” she called. “We’ll have another happy day.”

The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings,
and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out
of the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat.

The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was
chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed.

“Hello, Mr. P,” she said. “Do you want to play?”

“What did you have in mind?” I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.

“I don’t know. You say.”

“How about charades?” I asked sarcastically.

The tinkling laughter burst forth again. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Then let’s just walk.”

Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face.
“Where do you live?” I asked.

“Over there.” She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.

Strange, I thought, in winter.

“Where do you go to school?”

“I don’t go to school. Mommy says we’re on vacation.”

She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was
on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day.
Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.

Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no
mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt
like demanding she keep her child at home.

“Look, if you don’t mind,” I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, “I’d
rather be alone today.” She seemed unusually pale and out of breath.

“Why?” she asked.

I turned to her and shouted, “Because my mother died!” and thought,
My God, why was I saying this to a little child?

“Oh,” she said quietly, “then this is a bad day.”

“Yes,” I said, “and yesterday and the day before and — oh, go away!”

“Did it hurt?” she inquired.

“Did what hurt?” I was exasperated with her, with myself.

“When she died?”

“Of course it hurt!” I snapped, misunderstanding,
wrapped up in myself. I strode off.

A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn’t there.
Feeling guilty, ashamed, and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up
to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking
young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door.

“Hello,” I said, “I’m Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today
and wondered where she was.”

“Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much.
I’m afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance,
please, accept my apologies.”

“Not at all — she’s a delightful child.” I said, suddenly realizing
that I meant what I had just said.

“Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia.
Maybe she didn’t tell you.”

Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.

“She loved this beach, so when she asked to come, we couldn’t say no.
She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days.
But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly…” Her voice faltered, “She left
something for you, if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?”

I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young
woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with “MR. P” printed in bold
childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues — a yellow beach,
a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:

A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love
opened wide. I took Wendy’s mother in my arms. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,
I’m so sorry,” I uttered over and over, and we wept together. The precious little
picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six words — one for each year
of her life — that speak to me of harmony, courage, and undemanding love.

A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand
– who taught me the gift of love.

NOTE: This is a true story sent out by Robert Peterson. It happened over 20
years ago and the incident changed his life forever. It serves as a reminder
to all of us that we need to take time to enjoy living and life and each other.
The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.

Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas
can make us lose focus about what is truly important
or what is only a momentary setback or crisis.

This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra hug, and by all means,
take a moment… even if it is only ten seconds, to stop and smell the roses.

This comes from someone’s heart, and is read with many
and now I share it with you…

May God Bless everyone who receives this! There are NO coincidences!

Everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Never brush aside
anyone as insignificant. Who knows what they can teach us?

I wish for you, a sandpiper.

This closed post was written 4 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 552, 52, 22 | Edit Post | Report Post

Reciprocity (2) Many thank yous! The poster has helped others since their own post was made.

Since writing this post babacup has helped in 2 other users' posts within the last 4 days. babacup is a verified member, has been around for 7 months, 2 weeks and has 23 posts and 2,362 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

Replies (52)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

babacup offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 35 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

sorry it is so long, my mom sent it to me and I just wanted to share it with everyone.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
JOber offline Verified User (4 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

Thanks for sharing!!!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

babacup invited 9 users to read this post 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

annlovestars * offline Verified User (4 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 170 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

:) Thnank you

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Hey!
Silverwings offline Verified User (1 year, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
Adolphus, KY, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (23 minutes after post)

That is so very lovely…. It is one of those things that will permanently etch itself on my brain, I think, because it is so beautiful, and teaches a profound lesson. One we all need….

We never know what it takes to walk in the other mans shoes…..

Thanks for sharing it….. (((Hugs)))

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Come, Rest Awhile…

Silverwings invited 191 users to read this post 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

Help me with: Come, Rest Awhile…
erin offline Verified User (10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 54 #
Augusta, GA, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (30 minutes after post)

That’s so sweet. I loved it, Silverwings. :)

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Nightmares really hurt.
Marylou offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 34 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (32 minutes after post)

“Never brush aside anyone as insignificant. Who knows what they can teach us?”

Oh! This is so true!!!

Thanks for reminding me. :)
You are very much appreciated, Babacup.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
srnityblu offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 10 #
Regina, SK, CA | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (34 minutes after post)

I”m all teary eyed!!! thank you!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
cattail offline Verified User (8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
Newark, NJ, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 9 minutes after post)

Oh, that was just beautiful! Thank you!!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Listy gurl offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 51 #
US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 11 minutes after post)

It’s so sad that she died. but its such a moving story, I almost cried.
Thanks for sharing

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: The
MamaBear {Felicity} online Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 220 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 12 minutes after post)

This IS lovely I think it goes to show how very important each of us is,how a few kind words can make a difference too,and when it comes from a child it makes it all the sweeter.Sorry babacup, I tend to analyze everything.It is lovely.Thanks for sharing

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
ben_j_richard offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 80 #
GB | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 44 minutes after post)

thank you i have tears in my eyes.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
babacup offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 35 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 50 minutes after post)

We can learn a lot from children.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
ambivispice offline Verified User (8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 55 minutes after post)

ohhh, ohh, speachless.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Guess what!
The Astro-Man offline Verified User (12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 3 minutes after post)

That was nice. Makes all my troubles seem less complicated somehow.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Meh, I’m done.
Florie offline Verified User (6 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 234 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (4 hours, 7 minutes after post)

beautiful, Babacup. Thank you …

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Going on Sabbatical
Dots offline Verified User (5 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (5 hours, 8 minutes after post)

So sad.

But so touching.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Sdbowmanii offline Verified User (5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (5 hours, 32 minutes after post)

Thanks it is very touching story of real life. How often we do this! I am going to pass this on to all the friends I have in my email. Everyone needs to read this. My eye leaked as well.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I am a new Christian.
Listy gurl offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 51 #
US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (5 hours, 59 minutes after post)

Thats a great idea sdbowmani, I think that i will do that also.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: The
Listy gurl offline Verified User (1 year, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 51 #
US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (6 hours, 24 minutes after post)

I also posted it as a bulliton on my myspace.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: The
babacup offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 35 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (6 hours, 27 minutes after post)

I see you all are liking it as much as I do. It is sad but beautiful at the same time.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Dan TL offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 342 #
La Mirada, CA, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (7 hours, 45 minutes after post)

You know as soon as I saw this I thought “another poem/cute story, no thanks…” I clicked “back” then thought to my self, why not read it ?. I did…
WOW
It played in my head like a film, very powerful, I even choked up a bit near the end. Perfect how i read this after a horrible day at work, It kind of makes me think.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
babacup offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 35 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (7 hours, 51 minutes after post)

Dan TL wrote:
You know as soon as I saw this I thought “another poem/cute story, no thanks…” I clicked “back” then thought to my self, why not read it ?. I did…
WOW
It played in my head like a film, very powerful, I even choked up a bit near the end. Perfect how i read this after a horrible day at work, It kind of makes me think.

yea, I can picture it like I am watching it. I can see her playing in the sand and him walking by. The water and the house in the background.

I am sorry you had a bad day at work. I would give you a sandpiper if I knew how to post he picture.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Dan TL offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 342 #
La Mirada, CA, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (7 hours, 54 minutes after post)

I got it covered.

Thanks for the thought though.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
babacup offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 35 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (7 hours, 58 minutes after post)

that is the same picture too : )

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
tjm_14 offline Verified User (4 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 10 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (8 hours, 3 minutes after post)

I really liked this poem/story.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Working out…
crazyG offline Verified User (6 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 171 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (8 hours, 30 minutes after post)

Thanks for sharing.

It’s a really very sad story
But I learn much from those stories because I never forget them
Beautiful things like children are very precious in our lives

I thank you again for this great sad story

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: ………
This reply has been removed.

seeuseeme invited 16 users to read this post 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

Tictactomm offline Verified User (7 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
Edmonton, AB, CA | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (9 hours, 51 minutes after post)

My wife read this with me. Very powerful.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Fizz offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 79 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (17 hours, 45 minutes after post)

Wow, that is such a touching story, I even read the whole thing!! Thanks for sharing that with us.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
vickierhodesm offline Verified User (11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
Missoula, MT, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (20 hours, 34 minutes after post)

All I can say is thank you for the reminder that life is full of surprises if only you look for them.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

vickierhodesm invited 4 users to read this post 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

BrighterBlessing offline Verified User (6 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Cincinnati, OH, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (23 hours, 55 minutes after post)

Thanks for sharing, that was powerful! Children really do handle things like cancer with such dignity and grace. They know how to make the most of what they have!

This reminded me of a time about 7 years ago when I was at a spiritual retreat and my back was hurting and I was having trouble walking but I didn’t know yet that I had cancer. I was hurting so much that I was sad and preoccupited. I couldn’t find my joy. The last night I was there, they had a raffle and I bought tickets. On one of them I wrote the name of my uncle who’d recently died of cancer and I was missing. My Mom had practically raised him so he was more like a sibling than an uncle in my life. I was missing him and asked him to look over me that weekend.

As they started drawing raffle tickets, I saw many expensive and beautiful prizes sitting on the tables. But the one thing I didn’t notice was this tiny little nicknacky thing. I heard my uncle’s name and listened while they called the number off the ticket. It was mine! So I walked up to see what I had won and it was this tiny thing. As they handed it to me, she said - You’re the lucky one tonight. While everyone else won these extragavant and meanless things - you get the bird of paradise to bring happiness to your life. I smiled - I knew my uncle Ron would have picked that bird of happiness out for me if he had been there. I also knew he was watching over me.

I don’t know if you have written letters to loved ones for if you go before them but I have done that. I noticed when helping my Mom with something that she’s starting to place little notes all over her house as well. Short things, like I wanted you to know you mean the world to me or I love you. But how nice to know Mr. P got that drawing intended to bring him joy. =-)

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: Need to take a break
Shie offline Verified User (11 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 236 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 day, 6 hours after post)

wow… i have got to say that i am speechless.. my heart has not only felt the loss of that child for this man.. but the tears that are welling in my eyes are hard to hold back…… thank you for sharing this story… many hugs for wendy and mr. p..

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
forsakentenshi offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
BD | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 day, 13 hours after post)

wow thats all i can say, its soo lovely and yet so sad. I cant thank you enough for giving me the chance to read this.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
2greeneyes offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 87 #
Midvale, UT, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 day, 18 hours after post)

Sometimes there are no words at moments like this. I can say thank you.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: What could happen?

2greeneyes invited 25 users to read this post 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

Help me with: What could happen?
2greeneyes offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 87 #
Midvale, UT, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 day, 19 hours after post)

What’s a refurl?

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: What could happen?
Fizz offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 79 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 day, 19 hours after post)

I don’t know what the deal is with that.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
babacup offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 35 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 day, 19 hours after post)

2greeneyes wrote:
What’s a refurl?

I got that too, when I invited people to the post for Lyza.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This reply has been removed.
2greeneyes offline Verified User (7 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 87 #
Midvale, UT, US | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (1 day, 22 hours after post)

Thanks guys, I thought something was wrong with my computer?
Well back to this awesome post!!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: What could happen?
angelfly offline Verified User (6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 3 weeks ago (2 days, 3 hours after post)

that’s lovely.

tears welled up in my eyes.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators