life help: I’m about to go off the edge. - Help.com

you need to move out!

yeah i need to move out too im preaching to the choir.

well do you have a job/are you in school?

where’s all that money going to though? can you save it?

financially im in the same situation. the other part with your mom i will be honest..i’m not gonna sit here and be like “oh i can relate”
but i do want to help. you DON’T deserve to suffer from your mothers mistakes. do you wanna break down your situation and explain everything more clearly? like literal stuff too like where your moneys going because you do need to move out (more than i even do) and if i can help you at least i’ll know i did something right

loans for what?

haha we have the same financial life. i’m still trying to break this down so i can help just give me a few minutes

where do you work?

ok well i skimmed through your past post quickly (the more recent ones) just to get a quick idea. it looks like you dont have a lot of support in general. im not just talking about your mom. i mean friends as well. am i right?

if you dont hav money to get your own place and you clearly cant stand living with your mum you might want to look at getting yourself some help from the government. they might be able to help you get into an apartment or something n because you will be indepandant from your mum you might be elligable for government funding as well

ok. and you believe in God? (i’m sorry i’m being random with questions…i just find it easier when i can get to know someone first so i can give them the answers not only that they want and need to hear..but the answers that will help…just see where you’re coming from) i want to understand..

amen to that…and i’m a practicing catholic…and i can’t even talk about God sometimes because “i feel like he doesn’t love me” and “he has too many things to do”

but ANYWAY.

you definitely need to leave this situation. money is always an excuse for everything. for me too. but God is BIGGER than money. if you really want this to work you need to put your FULL trust in him. and i don’t mean just to sit and wait for a sign from God like a million dollars to land on your lap. because you need to make a plans(and i’m willing to help) and i’m not saying your plans are gonna be perfect…especially with my help because i am not perfect. BUT! GOD is perfect. and you need to be removed from this situation. if you have doubts about all your plans that means youre not putting your trust in God. you need to think out of the box of debt. (i mean it is an obstacle now doubt…) but you can OVERCOME this

do you have any random links to people that are in good and SAFE living situations? and even if its just an aquaintence? (i think i totally just misspelled that but its late where i am.. i’m too lazy to properly type out long words haha)

Take a deep breath Muzik. You need to center yourself and make a plan. First thing you need to do after you calm down is call the police. If you’ve been molested or raped you need to report this right way. Your safety is of the foremost importance. After you do that, lets take a look at getting you some help. Look in your area for a Therapist or LCSW that will work on a sliding scale. If there is a college or university in your area that gives degrees in psychology, you should be able to get an intern at half the price if not free. You will want to talk to someone Muzik… and I recommend that someone be a professional. After these two issues are handled, the issue of your mother may just fall into place automatically, either she will be an accessory to crimes, or she’ll at least come to her senses about how her actions impact your life. That is a lot to handle right now, but I’m confident you can do it. After all that, we can talk more about making your independence real.
Bright blessings ~ Richard

Muz, may I suggest joining the military? You’ll get out of there FAST, and you’ll get money for college. I am NOT a recruiter, but I did have a military career. You do NOT need to remain in that situation. Don’t hate your mother–she’s lonely and she wants a man in her life, but guess what? You’re highly unlikely to find a decent guy in a bar! The military is not all that bad. You would be in a safe and secure environment, you’d be making good money, and you could start planning a real future for yourself. In the meantime, do you have a girlfriend you could room with? I want you to get out of that place right away! I genuinely care about what is going on with you! I’m mostly worried about your physical safety and security, because these guys your mom’s bringing home are a genuine threat to you–and her. You cannot control her behavior, but you can get the heck out. And you MUST! Please don’t dismiss my suggestion out of hand. It is probably the quickest way out, and you could take classes while on active duty and also get the GI bill for college. Two of my kids joined the military, and neither regretted it. One is still in, and having the time of his life!

By the way, you are NOT a loser and you are someone with great potential! I have a seventeen-year-old daughter, and her biological father has totally and completely ignored her. She has had “issues” over that, and I’m trying to fill in! You have been stressed beyond the limit and you are in an extremely vulnerable position right now. Some “guy” is not the answer, however. You can rescue YOURSELF. That’s why I’m suggesting the military option, and I’m dead serious. First choice would be the Air Force, second the Navy. Coast Guard is good, too. I was Army but the Army has long deployments. Two of my kids said they’d never join the military, but they surely did! Also, the military is NOT for losers–the BEST young men and women join, because they care about their country and the world! And, do you know what? A lot of them came from backgrounds like yours. A dear lady friend of mine had a situation just like yours–and now she’s a lieutenant colonel, married, and with a baby on the way! She would have shriveled up and died if she had stayed in her mom’s house, where her mom’s “boyfriends” also tried to “make it” with her! I hope you will give this some thought. I really do want you OUT of that house, however! A door has just been opened for you . . . now go check it out!

hi hun… been a while… so sorry to hear that mom is being the same ol’ mom.. unbelievable that she will not listen to you and how you feel about things.. is she still drinking? i think the only suggestion that i can possibly make is this one… and you can think about it and decide for yourself.. you can call the cps people.. call anon.. let them know that your mom is bringing strange men home just about every day… you are under 21 right? they will step in and do something about this.. or, you can actually see if you have any friends that want to go into getting an apartment.. even if its a one bedroom.. get a female roommate.. two separate beds and stuff.. and pay the minimal on your loans…

awwwww… i totally understand… and how terrible it is to have to see this stuff going on.. almost like your mom has had something happen to her in the past in which she was truly hurt and now, she is searching for love in all the wrong ways.. maybe leave some pamphlets laying around the house about STD’s.. all different kinds… maybe she will take the hint that doing what she is doing can cause her death one day.. so sad that she is a grown woman… living a life that she is..

i think the best thing you can do is just sit down with your mom and talk to her. and ask her WHY she does this to you. moving out will not solve the problem and after all she is your MOM. talk to her. see what she is going through. even id you really don’t care, just pretend you do. if she thinks that you care then she might change. she might need just as much support as you. tell her how u feel calmly. people tend to listen much more if you are not mad and if you are calm and sure of urself. just come up to her one day when u guyz r both home and tell her you think u guys need to talk. if she duznt want to tell her that you really need to. make her sit down and talk to her. tell her that what shes been doing to u has been hurting you and ask her y she keeps doing it. tell her that you really want to solve this problem and that u r willing to change something if she is willing to change as well. u have to give something up sometimes if you want to solve a problem. just make sure that she is giving soethng up as well. and tell her that you love her. make sure to do that. it doesn’t matter if you do or not. just tell her that so that she thinks u do and is willing to love you back.

please follow my advice. and remember that even if you feel that no one is out there in the world, there are many people on this site who are replying to your post and that care about you.

LOVE

iluvmuzic