Feel help: I found out earlier that my mum miscarried before she had me - Help.com

I found out earlier that my mum miscarried before she

had me and I was a bit shocked because I never knew but I dont know how to feel about it and I dont know why I’m so upset about it. Can anyone offer any help or advice as to how I’m supposed to feel? I just feel strange and messed up.

This open post was written 5 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 107, 5, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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jcd offline Verified User (12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
Atlanta, GA, US | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (8 minutes after post)

I found that out about my mom a long time ago. It didn’t really upset me, though. I can’t really offer any advice except that there is no right or wrong way to feel about it. You feel how you feel. That happens to a lot of women, especially during their first pregnancy. Lucky for you she didn’t give up trying to have children.

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theresape offline Verified User (10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
Waltham, MA, US | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

Why does this upset you? What does it have to do with you at all? I do not understand.

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антихрист offline Verified User (5 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

These happen quite often. My mother had a miscarriage before she had my brother. Although I am saddened by the miscarriage I am also thankful. My brother would never have been born if the miscarriage had not happened.
You should be thankful that your delivery was successful and that you are healthy.

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Nyx offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 61 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (49 minutes after post)

I imagine you feel like it was a big deal but you can’t believe that no one told you before now. I felt that way about things I found out as I was growing up. The thing is, a miscarriage is something that your parents surely grieved, but at the same time, no one really got to know the person that they lost so it is different than losing a brother or sister. There is no way a person “should” feel about it, you feel how you feel and you learn to deal with it.

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els offline Verified User (11 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
San Diego, CA, US | 5 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 2 minutes after post)

I think it’s sad to think that there was a being who started off in exactly the same place as you and that there was a life before you came along, even though it never came to pass. It may also be that you know your parents were probably really sad at the time and you can empathise with how they felt. Like many people have said, my mum had a miscarriage, two in fact, as did my mother-in-law, it is a very common occurrance.

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