Love help: I’m in need of a little advice. - Help.com



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I’m in need of a little advice.

I’ve been with my boyfriend now for about 9 months. We have previously dated a few years ago, and it ended because we were going seperate ways. This time around, however, it has been really great and amazing. I’m so in love, I just don’t even know how to describe it to others. The only problem… we only get to spend a a day or two together on the weekends because of our locations. Now, I know that some people don’t think this is too big of a deal (I mean, hey, 2 days a week is better than once a month or a few times a year).

As well, my boyfriend does not like many of my friends. It seems like everytime I want to go or see my friends and its during the times we are together, we only end up spending a short time with them because he is not having a good time. And if he is not having a good time, then I am not as well. This makes me spend less and less time with my friends.

Unforunately now, I feel like I am losing some really good relationships with my friends becuase of my boyfriend. And he gets offended when I want to spend time with them and not him/ don’t want him to come along. And it doesn’t help that I work 60 hours a week, so the times I spend with my boyfriend are also the only times I can spend with my friends.

And now, after this ridiculously long post, I am looking for ways to approach this situation. How do I tell my boyfriend that I need more friend time without hurting him?

This open post was written 1 year, 7 months ago | V/U/S: 149, 3, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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friends, Pain and nociception, Love, Situationist, Month, Week, Year, Day, Big, boyfriend, boyfriends, time management, feelings (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (3)

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The Seven Stars offline Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Carlsbad, CA, US | 1 year, 7 months ago (4 minutes after post)

Just tell him you need space. There’s no easy way out of the situation, but being frank now may help avoid pain later.

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dertenbee offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (1 hour, 3 minutes after post)

if i was your boyfriend, i would…

i would try to see why i hate your friends, and try to know them more, try to see how to get along with them, try to see what you really like with them. SO that, perhaps i can get along with them while we’re both with them.

*Second; If your bf can’t do this, then you shall tell him something like what i’ve just said. Ask him to try to see what he don’t like with your friends and tell you what is it. Ask him does he care more about you or care more about hating and noticing your friends. Ask him what is the main reason why he don’t like being with your friends[is it because he hates them in somehow?? or just dont like disturbing his time with you??]

*Thirdly: Tell him that you love him, but you also can’t be a mean friend to your friends. Tell him that he also have a buddy, and if the buddy is the buddy he grew up with, tell him that you would also give him time to spend with his buddy, because you and his love for each other will always be in the heart. Tell him that even though you are laughing with your friends, your heart still crying missing him when he’s not there. Tell him that he does NOT need to worry that you might spend more time with friend and might start forgeting your love for him[just because he’s far].
Tell him that, no matter how far he is, your love for him is longer and larger than the distance you are having from him. Tell him that friends are just like comedy movies, even though you are watching it, still in your heart you know you have a boyfriend to call later after the movie ends, etc…etc…!!!

I think he is thinking that your friends are more important you than he is. SO i think you gotta say those things i mentioned to you, to let him know that you will always love and care about him no matter where you are or what you doing or whoever you’re with.

I hope this help!!

Goodluck!! Just believe in faith!!!

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Sam : ) offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (15 hours, 34 minutes after post)

Let him know he is very very much important to you. But you would like you hang out with your friends too.

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