life help: Hey who ever is there. - Help.com

Dude, you need to think about the pain you will leave behind. If not in your wife, then what about your kids? Wouldn’t they rather have their dad than a pile of stinky money? Our children are then reason why we keep fighting, no matter how life treats us. If you hate your current life that bad, change it. Quit the navy and move closer to your kids. Just don’t give up.

Soldier, stand yourself up..

Dont let anything loose yourself..not even family problems.

Even though your wife is hurting you now. In some how you should know that, she’s been hurt too. She also does not want to lose you. She’s just upset cause her husband is a navy and she knows that anything can happen to a navy[death or major injuries, etc].

okay, lets put it this way..

*1)- maybe she knows that she can’t take the pain of losing you in the future, which she is now trying advance the pain so that she wouldnt feel it more in the future.. she is trying to tell herself that she hates you now that she will be strong without you, and to let her know she’ll be alright, she is advancing the pain because she knows she can’t tell you this when you’re gone. She loves you in somehow, but you also gots to put yourself on her position. Do you know how it feels to lose someone?? you do man, i know you do! And that is how she will feel when you’re gond. ANd not only her, also your kids. SO now don’t just think of being all stressed out and useless, if you really think you do not have so much time..why not spend more time on showing your family how much you love them [BY HEART NOT BY MONEY OR ANY MATERIAL].

*2)- If you wife was the soldier, and you were just the father at home, do you know how would it feels when you see your wife’s gravestone??? that is how exactly she will feel. And now that you are a navy now, she just don’t know what to do to save you to get you back but to just ‘cry’ or ‘hate you’ or ‘love you by heart’ and ‘miss you’..that is all she can do!! But you, you can turn your back and come home, but if you think its too gay and coward to, then its your pride soldier. Be who you want to be, but you have to remember that being somebody is not simple. And if you want to be that somebody, you gots to accept the consequences or any negative results.

You are willing to step on the field, it was your choice to step on it, so why now complaining about your wife hating or whatsoever. I dont think you’re wife is a woman who only likes money, houses, cars. She’s a woman who needs love..and she is missing the person she loves and married. and that is you man. So since you still want to be on the field now, Stand Strong, get hold of herself, quit the dramas, keep your shoulders up, and at the end of everything, come home for your family!! if you think you won’t make it, then treasure every breathe you have now and show love & carings for your familynow, as much as you can, before its too late.

If you think you regret of being on the field, then go home. but if your pride is higher than accepting your family crying, then go on soldier. Do what you want to do, but just make sure you won’t end up saying you hate yourself again!!

Brother, don’t tell me i do not know how its feels to be in the military, i used to be in a Air Force Training School, for years. But my parents ended up crying on their knees when they knew that i plan to continue to be in the force for life. I was big enough by then, and the tears they showed me that night, when i showed them that piece of paper telling them i graduated the course, i had enough, enough tears. And i don’t ever want to see that tears again. So i quited, before its too late. Its not that im a coward, but i rather be a coward than hurting the ones i love the most in my life!!!!

rev_kliewe wrote:
and she has already told my two oldest kids all kinds of bs.

While your kids are young and still hang on their mother’s every word, the truth is that if she is lying to them about you now, they will eventually catch on to what kind of personality their mother has. They WILL want to know about you as they get older, regardless of what their mother has told them.

Kids are only naive for so long, and then they get curious and start to notice when things don’t add up or they just have to see the truth for themselves. You have to look forward to the day that one of your kids decides to look you up behind their mother’s back or decide that they’re sick of living with her and ask if they can come stay with you, despite the bs that she said about you.

Trust me, this almost assuredly will happen. I’ve seen it in every family I know where the mom wouldn’t let the dad know the kids and then the kids grew up and got sick of their mom for talking down about their dad all the time. You will be redeemed when they finally get to know you. You just have to hang in a little while longer.

Dave on the Moon wrote:
Quit the navy and move closer to your kids. Just don’t give up.

saoidf wrote:
Yeah, you need to just quit the navy and stay with your family. You will be much happier and so will they.

Okay, both of you know that there’s something called a contract and he can’t leave until he’s fulfilled his contract, right? You can’t just quit the military any time you want, unless you’re willing to let them throw you in prison for going AWOL.

Nyx (imaginary) wrote:

Dave on the Moon wrote:
Quit the navy and move closer to your kids. Just don’t give up.

saoidf wrote:
Yeah, you need to just quit the navy and stay with your family. You will be much happier and so will they.

Okay, both of you know that there’s something called a contract and he can’t leave until he’s fulfilled his contract, right? You can’t just quit the military any time you want, unless you’re willing to let them throw you in prison for going AWOL.

When his contract ends, ‘course.

yes, i know i do!!! that is why i quited earlier.

but in the otherhand, its just all about the decisions we made in the past, and what consequences to take.

If i was still in the military now, and when the day comes i died. i would wish to be in prison for years than leaving my loves ones and hurting them for life!!

plus, i wont care of being in prison, cause it was my fault of stepping in the field!! this is how brave soldier i would be, if i was still in the field!!

IN the other hands, his family should also learn how to love him as a father, not a dying soldier..

so dont worry man, i feel you!!

its just all about the steps we’ll take!!

yet, may god be always with you!!

stay faithful, god is always there to help you!!

And you should know that, you are one BlessFull man, and God is fully thanking and blessing you since the day your first step on the field!!

God Bless you SOldier!!

By the way Rev, thank you for signing up to serve your country. You pay a big price for the rest of us, and that really does mean a lot. Someday, your kids are going to see why you made the decisions that you’ve made and that everything you do is out of love for them. Never underestimate how much your love is affecting your kids, even if they don’t know it yet. They WILL know!

Praises to the words of “Nyx”!!!!

I can tell you’re not like him just by reading your post. You love your kids. You want to be with them and see them and tell you that you love them like you feel a good father does. WANTING to be a good father makes you so much better than your father was.

Don’t worry about that any more. You’re a good man and a good father. Embrace that.

I hope that you can see before you complete give up how valuable you are. I read everything that you’ve written and it’s painful to see someone with so much love and so much to give hurting so badly.

no prob, rev. As long as you can keep holding on, keep coming back to this site - we’re always here to listen. Please hold on for as long as you can.

not necessarily. ;) everyone needs to feel loved to keep going sometimes.

Man, I have so been there - suicidal thoughts. But you have to know that it won’t solve anything. I think what most adults fail to relate to us as youngsters is that life is dang hard! I know, I keep expecting it get better (by some sort of crazy miracle) someday but it doesn’t and it won’t.

As far as the mother of your youngest daughter goes, it’s not about what she thinks or cares about you, it’s about the daughter you conceived together and what’s good for that little girl. And, coming from a grown up girl who didn’t talk to her daddy enough, talking with her is super important!

I’m sure you are not alone, but when our minds begin ramping up toward light speed we start feeling like we are the only ones and that no one could possibly feel our pain and that it will never stop. Rest assured that it will. It will subside one day and you will no longer be alone.

hey sounds like ur probs r worse than mine sorry to hear that. thx a lot for ur advice just wish i could help u more. why cant u see ur children?