Love help: I am really very depressed.I am in love with a guy from past - Help.com

maybe you can wait to get married and see this person you like in secret.

Ok what does your bf think about this? Did he suggest something?

He says we shuld talk to them but there is no way we can reason out with my mother.So really wondering wat can i do.

you are probably wrong about your mom. Sometimes our parents would surprise us of how would they accept things. Maybe they’ll get mad at first and the situation would seem so hopeless, but if you do what you want to do, things might be different.

They might accept it. Anyway, you can’t let your mom control your life. It seems she controls everything you do.

I hope the best thing happens and goodluck to you

she wants to control each one of our lives.Till now it was fine .But i cant seem to let her decide for me on this topic.I don know how to make her understand.I don know wat i need to do.I am just worried for her she is gonna take it badly.

But you MUST marry like in a short time ?
If you dont,
Then i still suggest to see your boy by not knowing it.
You have your own life to live.

yeah they are looking for a guy fo me.But i don wanna marry them .If i tell them abt my guy my mom is gonna hurt herself.Am stuck!!

Depressed wrote:
she wants to control each one of our lives.Till now it was fine .But i cant seem to let her decide for me on this topic.I don know how to make her understand.I don know wat i need to do.I am just worried for her she is gonna take it badly.

If you can convince your father, then it isn’t a big problem. Your dad would support you and would take care of your mom.

I’m afraid that you might not be able to change her mind, but as time passes, she’ll come to accept whatever things she was afraid of and happened.

Don’t worry about how she’ll take it. She has many things to live for, right? like she has a family, your brothers or sisters and father right? she wouldn’t kill herself just because of you! That’s probably a way of controling people. When she knows it doesn’t work, she’ll probably let it go.

Anyway that’s my opinion. I guess talking to people around you will be better too :)

crazyG wrote:

Depressed wrote:
she wants to control each one of our lives.Till now it was fine .But i cant seem to let her decide for me on this topic.I don know how to make her understand.I don know wat i need to do.I am just worried for her she is gonna take it badly.

If you can convince your father, then it isn’t a big problem. Your dad would support you and would take care of your mom.

I’m afraid that you might not be able to change her mind, but as time passes, she’ll come to accept whatever things she was afraid of and happened.

Don’t worry about how she’ll take it. She has many things to live for, right? like she has a family, your brothers or sisters and father right? she wouldn’t kill herself just because of you! That’s probably a way of controling people. When she knows it doesn’t work, she’ll probably let it go.

Anyway that’s my opinion. I guess talking to people around you will be better too :)

i agree, its a way of controlling you.

its coz she is obsessed with her kids .. thats why i fear abt wat she wuld do to herself.Its like the only thing for her is me and brother.My brother suggested me to leave the guy coz of the way my mom is.But i am not convinced in marrying smeone else.I wuld never do that wat come may.

the best part is she is anxious that i may have a BF.She keeps asking me every now and “promise me that u don have a guyy” .. I have infact promised i dont have. I don know when she gets to know I have one wat it wuld be like.Her whole world is gonna collapse thats how she see s it.its just killing me.I just wanna undo the fact that i have a guy but simply cant.

well if my mom would do that to me i would go crazy too !
she has no right to do that.
But can you seem him without her knowing it ?

hi it`s too bad that you mum can`t allow you to marry someone of your choice but what i think is that maybe tell your mum about your boy friend and try to convice her that an dif you can convice your father first convice him and when he accepts tell him to convice for you your mother and see what the results will be.because what i know is if you marry someone you don`t want, you will not be together for long and you will end up breaking up.have a nice time.hope your mother listens to your feelings.

Ah the age old issue!! I had this problem so did romeo and juliet!! please don’t think you are alone!! My sisers and brother said if I married my husband they could no longer have me in their lives!! the pasters wife of the church came to me and told me that I should not even be friends with todd. (he is my husband now) so I left the church and didn’t return. as for your mother… if she chose’s to kill herself over your marriage that is not your problem. do not let her tell you it is your fault. I realize that this sounds harsh, but trust me babe; I lived with a my mom for 23 years and she was horrable to me. and I always believed that her reaction to what I did was my fault, untill someone told me that It wasn’t. guess what you get to pick who you want to marry and as long as you are over 18 your mom can’t do anything about it. and she will not kill herself… I know this because her life… she values over everyone else. why else would she find it so important that you follow in her foot steps!! if you stand up to her she will hate it and may feel like you killed her.. be ready for this.. but she will deal with it and still live. if you want to talk give me a shout!!

Hey there :)
And one more thing, from now on never promise your mom anything. You could never know what you are going to come into…so no need for promises that you might not keep. It only complicates things.

Goodluck to you whatever you decide

You can tell your mother that if she wants to teach you the way to do things your way like she’s doing it then you can do the same and make it a condition that you’ll kill yourself if she forces you to marry another guy. She’s really selfish and unreasonable and has no right to blackmail you like that.
Anyways what would happen if you end up with a guy you love, you’ll be happy, why your mother doesn’t wish that? If she wished for you the opposite only because it’s her will, she’s wrong and she should let you live your own life and make your own mistakes. She should understand that if you’ll do as she says and be unhappy with someone else it will be only her fault. It’s your life after all, not hers.