Family help: Mothers are still a problem when you reach your 40’s.

scary doll

Mothers are still a problem when you reach your 40’s.

I swapped mothers last year!!! I was adopted as a child into a horrible family of bigots. I have put up with all sorts of trouble off them for years. Last year I looked up my birth mother and found her married to by birth father. She gave me up as she could not afford me and was very emotionally unstable at the time. I don’t have a problem with what she did, I think she was putting me first and she has suffered terribly since with her conscience.

Things came to a head with the adopted family last year and I finally found the courage to walk away. My real parents want me to be part of their family and have started introducing me to other family members.

People think I have done a bad thing. My psychiatrist thinks I have did the right thing for me and by husband is very supportive.

What do you think?

This closed post was written 1 year, 7 months ago | V/U/S: 300, 10, 4 | Edit Post | Report Post

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Since writing this post scary doll may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. scary doll is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 8 months and has 51 posts and 1,510 replies to their name.

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marriage, Adoption, Psychiatry, Emotion, Conscience, Family, Head, Year, Child, walking, mothers (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (10)

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jeaniecarpentier 17 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (3 minutes after post)

i think you have a right to only surrond yourself with people who make you happy.

Help me with: An update on me.

~Shie~ 9 #
Gloversville, NY, US | 1 year, 7 months ago (5 minutes after post)

i believe that if your birth parents are being supportive of you being in their lives… and you having all these issues with your adoptive family.. then do what you need to do to be happy.. in life, we tend to worry about how others are feeling with out thinking of ourselves and how we feel… but in reality.. we should think of ourselves first…

Help me with: ~I need your help~

The Astro-Man 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (12 minutes after post)

Sounds like you did the right thing.

Help me with: Meh, I’m done.

hey...iknowyou 18 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (14 minutes after post)

I can’t see any reason why you shouldn’t do what you did. Who thinks you have done a bad thing and why?

I think it’s fantastic that you have chosen to seek out your birth parents, and irregardless of what your adopted family are like I would think the same thing.

Help me with: Assisted Suicide.

scary doll 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (18 minutes after post)

Thank you so much for your replies. Someone told me I was a bad person for doing this and it really shook my confidence.

Help me with: This is my mothers death notice in the newspapers and I am not even down as being her daughter:

Florimouse 26 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (47 minutes after post)

bonnie wrote:
Thank you so much for your replies. Someone told me I was a bad person for doing this and it really shook my confidence.

I would want to be with my birth parents no matter what. I’m glad that yours are welcoming you and want you to be part of their lives. How could you not???

Help me with: Incredibly, stupidly slow!

bluejade 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (23 hours, 55 minutes after post)

I think you made a very brave decision to meet your real family. Even taking the risk to not have a happy ending, but it seems that everything is working out. I’m pretty sure that your therapist have already told you have that self-doubt for cutting ties with your foster family is because you are a good person and you want to be sure that you doing the right/ correct thing. Someone once told me that you cannot choose your family. Fortunately, in your case, you can. You chose to put yourself first. You chose to love yourself and stop the pain. And you’ve decided to be surrounded by people that support you and love you. Your husband, and now, your new found family. In time, if your foster family really loves you or want to apologize for their behaviour, they will be in contact. For now, just focus in your own happiness. Thank you for your response to my question! Good luck!x

scary doll 2 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 7 months ago (1 day after post)

Thank you.

Help me with: This is my mothers death notice in the newspapers and I am not even down as being her daughter:

babacup 8 #
Indianapolis, IN, US | 1 year, 7 months ago (1 week, 2 days after post)

I think it is a wonderful thing to find your birth family and to find love and comfort there. My cousin gave her daughter up for adoption and ended up marrying the father and having 4 more children. So when her daughter turned 18 and looked her up, she found she had both parents and 2 sisters and 2 brothers. She now has a good relationship with both sets of her parents.

I think you are a very strong person to walk away from a family that is not healthy for you. So I think you did the right thing.

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Family help: Mothers are still a problem when you reach your 40’s. - Help.com

Mothers are still a problem when you reach your 40’s.

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