You shall dance like the penguin you are!
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Hello. I am sorry about that. Maybe now it is good to fix those insecurities and give her time to think and stuff. It has happened minutes ago yet, so there could be a possibility that it would be fixed.
And he shall dance like the penguin he is!
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i keep tryin to talk it over with her but she seems to be sure this is how it shud be, i know its stupid thinking this but it does feel like iv lost everything cos i put everything into her and ahead of her. but your right about the insecurities, i feel i need to sort those out, but at this very moment im also thinking is there any point
I’m so sorry, but maybe this isn’t really over yet… she could just be extremely frustrated at the moment and not really able to carry through with this break up. Give her a little time right now. The question is, do you think you could possibly solve this problem? Would you be willing to work on your insecurities and stop saying the things to her that are driving her away from the relationship? If you’re willing to really do something about the problem, tell her that, ask her for another chance and promise her you will get help for this problem you’re going through. Tell her you need her support, and you’d like to work this out and be happy together.
However, is there any chance your insecurities are realistic? Is there any REAL reason not to trust her? Could it be the fault is not entirely yours?? … has she done things that would make any normal person feel insecure??
IF, on the other hand, the worst happens and she just refuses to try to make things work anymore, you are going to have to let her go. I know it’s your biggest fear, and more so because you ARE so insecure right now… but the truth is that as much as a break up hurts, we do survive… we can and we will, and there will be something better for you out there. You will find the strength inside, because our lives should never rely solely on one other person, who is actually free to up and leave us at any time they want to. We CAN survive on our own, and we must be able to… So IF the worst happens, then it will feel unbearable for awhile, but it can be a time of growth for you too, to become more independent and overcome your insecurities, and in time be ready to have a much better relationship with someone new. Things happen for a reason. If this relationship was not meant to be, it absolutely was a learning experience for you, and you will be better for it. And sometimes that’s what failed relationships are about… learning, growing, and becoming better equipped for something even better in the future.
Sorry, just let heart heal from pain, Some times you can not really understand females, may be she still loves you, give it some time.Find something else to occupy you to fill that gap in your heart.You can listen to inspiring music, go to church and share with p’ple who can help you recover.If she goes,it’s not the end,you will find another beautiful understanding lady in your life. It’s not easy especially when you think of the things you’ve shared. Trust me you will get throgh it.
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wow man iv just had tha same exact problem with the girl i love, except were raising a one year old child witch makes all the pressures double.the insecurities thing is sumthn i hav a problem with 2 my girls in college and only in the 11th grade making feel like all my efforts r useless. im trying to hold things together so i think u should to iv been fighting the wall between us 4 tha last couple of da and my hands and my heart hurts a lil but quiting is 4 losers and no one wants a loser.
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she hasnt done anything to make me feel insecure, its all from past relationships and family and friends. and i have tried saying i will work round them and try to sort them out just now, but she says she doesnt think i will do it, and no matter how hard i try to get her to believe me she doesnt feel like she can cope with it one more time.
my big mistake was putting everything into that with her and im finding it soo difficult to let go of what we had. but however much i am trying to let go, what you say about learning to let go and become more independant and working through my problems is true. im just finding it extremely difficult at this moment, i have no drive to push me, and i think its that bit of motivation i need.
what you say about church makes me think, i have long since thought about religion but have never been able to follow it, due to other commitments, however when i do something i tend to put everything into it and i fear i may make myself distant to people and from ever being with someone again.
i certainly dont think il quit, i know at some point il feel the need to fight, its just willing myself to do it and knowing where to start. shud i fight to try and be with her or could this cause further problems, or should i fight to start a fresh but i feel for this i need something to motivate me
It is going through the phase of getting over a broken heart is difficult. Like welcoming each day knowing that it is not the same anymore.
I say that you need to calm down and give yourself some space. You know her better that anyone here does so if you think she has reached the peak of giving up on you, then you need to give yourself some time. Because even if you guys are back again, the same burden will arise in the middle of the relationship. Then the same pattern begins.
Do not burden yourself with the motivation to move on. Motivation comes as you live each day.
I think that right now you just need to give her a little space… wait a week or two without contacting her and see if she misses you. It happens sometimes… so let her *feel* what it’s like without you for a little bit and see if that brings her around again… she may decide she can’t stand it either and be willing to give it another chance. She may be surprised if she doesn’t hear from you, actually, and then wonder if she’s made a mistake or if she might lose you forever… and sometimes that brings a person back!
You need a little time to “mourn” the loss of any relationship, so just take things easy for a little while, know that you’re going to be feeling sad for awhile but try to keep yourself busy and let the time pass. Don’t dwell on things, just give things some time now and focus on other things… be good to yourself right now. After this period of mourning you will find the strength again to start doing positive things for yourself and work on these issues.
She may or may not come back… be prepared for the worst in any case, just in case. If she does come back, perhaps the two of you could even go to couples counseling, and she will see how serious you are about working this out with her!
exactly that, tryin to get over the heartbreak. i still feel in shock as though it hasnt hit me, and i know i should prepare for when it does because if im worse than i am now, well i just cant imagine it. yehh i think she has reached that peak, where i know nothing i do or say could change things, but i dont know if im lookin for one big solution to it all that might solve it, like a big gesture but i know there is nothing off the sort.
its just trying to get through each day now thats going to be difficult, its a kind of circle where as each day goes by i can gain motivation but i need something now to show me, i just guess i have to get through it somehow but the pain just seems to be increasing
i will have to give her space, i know she doesnt want us to speak right now and i would rather not with her because il just end up feeling alot worse. i know i should prepare for the worst, i am a very pessimistic person but im just finding it a hard time believing its gone. i have often known what to do in these situations as i have told people many times, but right now im finding it difficult to accept, and i have nothing to spur me forward right now apart from the few people i talk to online
Yeah, you’re going to have some ups and downs for awhile… days that aren’t too bad, and sometimes days where it just seems more than you can bear anymore and you miss her so. :( I think right now the only thing that can solve it is her realizing she really doesn’t want to end things… you’re right. See if she comes around. Believe me, she will be feeling these things too, even if she’s the one who made the choice she will most likely start questioning herself whether she did the right thing, etc. Let her explore that within herself and hope for the best.
Oh, most of us know the right advice, but it’s so different when WE are the ones who need to take it… I know!! ;)
It’s a good time to try to take on some new project or hobby, if you think of anything interesting… any new diversion will help… oh yeah, and if the feelings get too much at times, try writing them in a journal for awhile… but then put it away and back to distracting yourself with other things, anything but thoughts of her right now.
Hang in there… keep us posted!! So many here are going through this very same heartbreak.
thank you all, the journal thing does sound something i want to do, iv always been creative but iv never done anything and i dont know why. i think now is the time to look down that path and try and do something, seriously thank you all, i will keep informed over the next couple of days as you have all been a great help, i greatly appreciate it, i know its gona take a while to get over and that accepting the worst will prepare me. but i cant thank you all enough
hey even im goin through the same sort of thing i think we just have to hold on ..
we do mate, why is it that soo many people have to get broken hearts.
Because people never stop loving.
sorryy mate iv gone through the same thing… its bin nealry 10 months for me..
and i cant forget about her..
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