friends help: i wish i had a different life… i’m young and have - Help.com

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on the school thing… I was just wondering if your’e a single mother. If you are then you could qualify for some scholarships that would get you at least into a good community college. You should go to the nearest college or university and see if they can help you. :) don’t lose hope my friend. Just keep truckin it on, and eventually everything will work out.

thing is, if i work full-time AND go to school, i’ll have 2 worry about 24-hour daycare for 2 young children (3 and 5 years old)… there isn’t enough money or time (remember i still have to be a mother at SOME point) and i don’t have a very large support system… so, for now, i have to settle for the job i have b/c it pays ok, but doesn’t satisfy me and makes me feel like a loser….

well, look for another job while you work. I’m no mother, but i know there is almost no time for you. In this situation though, you have to make the time. If you want your life to get any better then you have to try to find what makes you happy. :)

My respnse is not meant to insult or offend you. I am just a very blunt person who calls things as I see it. You have 2 kids that you cant afford and your job situation is “iffy.”

Please note: No one else will fix your problems or can; only you have the ability to change your life.

$1 Don’t let your children suffer because of your mistakes. What I mean by suffer is, don’t neglect them; give them the time and attention that they need and deserve. Remember they did not ask to be brought into this world, your own choices and decisions brought them here. Sit down and face the situation for what it is worth. If the children are too much for you to handle, then maybe you should consider putting them up for adoption. I do not say that lightly as I myself am/was adopted and am sure that my bio parents thought it was the best thing for me. ( a decision they MADE) I emphasize MADE only because you need to start making decisions for something to happen. If you sit around and hope and wonder things will only slip away. Also consider, if your parents are in a good position maybe they would adopt or become your childrens legal gaurdians.

#2 I understand that drinking a beer relaxes you but use it in a positive manner. If that is one of your enjoyments then it should be used only as a reward for yourself when you achieve one of your goals. But be sure not to make your goals so unreachable that you get depressed from not believing that you can attain them.

#3 Stop wallowing in your own self pity. ( I do say that lightly) People tend to become so focused and wrapped up in their own problems that in their eyes they manifest them to be so much worse than they really are. Remember, there are those that fall asleep with an empty stomach; there are those that have no place to fall asleep; there are those who battle and fight sickness and disease on a regular basis… there are so many people in this world, in this country, in the state that you live in that are far worse off then you are at the moment.

#4 If you really want to go back to school and your financial situation is on the rocks; odds are you would qualify for financial aid. Ask your parents to watch their grandchildren while you go to school to better your life and the life you provide for your children. I’m sure they would be willing to help since they already did by helping you get a car.

#5 STOP WITH THE I CANTS AND I DONTS AND THE I WISH. If you want to do something then step up to the plate and do it. If you are too scared to try or you lack the motivation to try, then you will only continue to slide downhill in where I say again, DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN SUFFER BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN BAD CHOICES.

Solution - Make a right choice and do something. Take small baby steps. Set reachable goals for the next day and worry only about reaching those goals for that day. Don’t worry about the end of the week, next month, or next year. Worry about today and only about today. Set daily goals for yourself everyday and earn yourself that beer at night. Slowly you will see that your short term goals will make a difference and as you advance in life you can make longer and more rewarding goals to strive for.

yup, appreciate the imput… so much easier said than done, but point taken

Miss Flo wrote:
yup, appreciate the imput… so much easier said than done, but point taken

that was my first thought… its really hard for alot of mothers to try and get out of their slump, so i can totally sympathize…. i hope she understands the general message dos0mthi was putting out, but also realizes that there are people going through exactly what she is too… it IS hard, but positive thinking and action-taking (small steps though they may be) is the only way you are going to get through and ahead of the situation you are currently in… GOOD LUCK SISTA!