Love help: I think my relationship with my girlfriend/fiance may be falling appart. - Help.com

You’ve done everything you could. But she has to take some part in it too, if she doesn’t then it’s her choice, leave her in peace. At least you have nothing to blame yourself for.

Can you see yourself living like this for the rest of your life? It may hurt you terribly now, but it may be that by ending this now you change your path from a life time of unhappiness. As a person who identifies with the behaviour of your girlfriend this is not a reflection on you or something you are doing wrong. She just may not be ‘in’ the relationship anymore. Don’t do it to yourself. You deserve better than settling for this.

Hard as it is, there’s really nothing more you can do. She knows how you feel, and she knows you’re trying to make it work. But she has to find the feeling inside of herself. Could be she’s confused at the moment or just going through a hard time, maybe a bit depressed? Maybe she can’t quite put her finger on what’s bothering her and has mistakenly decided she’s not in love anymore. Sometimes when people are depressed they just feel “numb”. All I can suggest is to let her go…give her some time right now and see if she comes to the realization that she DOES in fact love you… or not. It cannot work out unless she decides she does love you and WANTS to do her part to make the relationship work. I’m so sorry, I know this hurts and is very hard to do… but there are really no other options. We cannot “force” people to love us if they don’t feel that themselves.

You’ll be OK… I know it hurts, but you will eventually find the person who’s right for you. I’m so sorry. This has happened to most of us in the course of our lives… but we survive and move on to better things than someone who’s not so sure how they feel about us.

Well, you never know, she might just change her mind…. could be other things that are making her so down right now. I hope it works out for the best. Just know that, as much as you feel for her… well, if she can’t return it then she’s just not that “right for you” person after all, unfortunately.

Has she given you any reason for feeling distant and detached? … or why she thinks she loves you but isn’t “in love”??? All I can say is try to give her a little space and let her sort it out right now… there’s a chance she could come around again once she realizes she misses you!!

I’m so sorry… but why are you blaming yourself so much? She seems to be the one who is not ready or doesn’t feel the relationship is what she wants right now. Did you really do something that you think drove her away? Because it sounded to me like you tried everything, but for whatever reason she is just not wanting the relationship right now.

It hurts so much and I’m sorry. She is trying her best to tell you that you have to let go. I know you feel you invested so much in it and she’s what you wanted, but what you really need of course is someone who wants the same thing you do, and it’s just not her at this point in time. There absolutely is someone else for you out there. It’s no good to try to hang on to someone who doesn’t feel the same way or isn’t ready for the kind of relationship you want right now. Let her go. I’m so sorry…. you need to mourn for awhile and then move on with your life. Please try to keep yourself busy and just let her go do whatever it is she needs to do right now. I think there’s still a chance she will be back… I’m not saying it will happen but there is a possibility. Perhaps some of those words are her way of hearing things that she’s enjoying, like how much you’ll beg her to come back. You tried, now let her be and see if she misses you once she’s accomplished what she supposedly “wants”. See if she thinks maybe she made a mistake. Just leave her alone for now.

:( I know it feels like yours is done, but honestly it’s not… she truly is not all there is in this world… no single person is. Don’t give all that you are to just one person, especially if they do not reciprocate the feelings. There are so many things ahead of you still, and many new people to meet. There is someone who will return your feelings and truly appreciate you and be devoted to you too. You will get over this in time. I wish you strength to get through this. I’m sorry if she just wasn’t the right one, as much as you felt she was… it just doesn’t work if the feeling isn’t mutual.