happiness help: whats the best way to behave around someone I like? - Help.com

Don’t just go around freely dumping your problems in someone’s lap. No one likes that.

Nothing wrong with being upset when something bad happens, though.

thats the thing, I don’t like talking bout all my bad problems(unless to my counsilor, thats what they’re there for, right? lol)

but when I get upset I feel bad and out of order and shouldn’t be like that.
year right ki8354, best not to rehearse stuff because I dunno, something not natural about it.

I agree with those people, be urself or theyre gonna think you got a prob with them, i done the same thing and started ignoring but it caused a lot of frustration¬!

Also if you rehearse its just stupid because 1-ur gonna forget wat to say and
2- nothing works out as planned!

I guess thats true. Ive had that, people thought I was weird.
how did it cause fustration? for urself?

haha I guess reality can never be planned.

Just be yourself… don’t put on any shows… and try to be upbeat around people you don’t know very well yet. In time, when you develop a closer, more trusting relationship with them, then you might share more of your inner self, your struggles and troubles… but I wouldn’t reveal that till you feel you can trust the person and feel ready to share more personal things about yourself with them.

On the other hand, if you’re having any problem with the way they treat you, or something along that line… communicate! Let them know your feelings as far as things happening between the two of you.

what does upbeat mean?
It’s just when I feel upset I feel I can’t talk to them because Im scared they think Im a weirdo person. When I get upset I feel I don’t want to say anything and stay inside myself.

Just being cheerful and friendly I guess… keep things on a more positive note.

Everyone gets upset, there’s nothing weird about that. Communication can be very helpful… so people can understand you and help with things that are bothering you inside too. Just make sure you talk things out with someone you feel you can trust. It’s not good to keep things inside too much, they eat away at you. It helps to write feelings in a journal, too, when you feel you can’t really talk to someone about what’s bothering you.

Be yourself

yeah I do try to be positive whenever I can, It’s just Im not happy all the time. I have my sad moments.

It is a good idea only if they like you too.

Yeah, we all do really… I guess we just try to put on a smile for the rest of the world anyway. But it’s OK, you can just tell someone you’re feeling a little down, but you’ll be OK… without having to go into explanations….

what is a good idea only if they like me too? im confused.

Cattail when I feel really down I feel guilty and out of order. and when I bottle things up I feel worse, when I let things out I feel bad.

Bottling things up just isn’t good, you need to find some release. If someone is upsetting you, communicate your feelings to them, don’t just remain silent. It helps tremendously if we try to find solutions to what’s bothering us rather than just storing things up inside. Physical exercise helps a lot with relieving frustrations too, just taking a walk or something. Like I said, even writing things out in a journal can bring some relief… a place to get the feelings out. Sometimes later you can look at what you wrote and gain a different perspective from it or see solutions. You shouldn’t feel guilty because you have feelings… we ALL have feelings. Perhaps someone in the past has tried to make you feel like your feelings were bad or didn’t matter???

true cattail im anonymous. surprised? lol

“we ALL have feelings. Perhaps someone in the past has tried to make you feel like your feelings were bad or didn’t matter???” I think thats an interesting question.
i guess i do need a release. I never really emotionally bonded with my parents too well as growing up. I was also bullied badly through school.

LOL… yes, I am surprised actually… I had no idea on that one!! Why didn’t I see that? :)

Definitely, it’s hard to get used to opening up about feelings if we didn’t have that privilege while growing up… but this is something you can overcome too!! Just take it slow, little by little you can share more of yourself… it will get easier to share feelings with others!!

lol im a little surprised ur surprised!

yes true i guess. i dont know where i learnt to not express myself.

spiritedsoul wrote:
” I never really emotionally bonded with my parents too well as growing up. I was also bullied badly through school.

I think this is why… back then, there was no one you felt you could share with, you just learned (or made a habit) to keep your feelings IN…. so you never really learned how to let them out…now it feels strange and awkward to you! :) But you can do it, little by little… try it with one feeling shared… then go from there! You are very good at sharing feelings here!!

thanks cattail :) yes i think growing up was hard. i kept everything in and so many treated me so badly.

also for some reason, when i like a guy i feel if i let them know how i feel or open up to them in any way they’d reject me so i keep stuff in but it has the opposite affect. in the sense they reject me because i don’t open up and be myself.

Any guy who’s really worth it should be interested to know more about you and how you’re feeling!! If they have no interest in talking or knowing your feelings, or sharing feelings of their own, then I’d suspect they are only interested in your outside beauty. Try opening up a little, try it with just one thing, then see if you can get them to open up too…. maybe ask if they have ever felt this way, etc. Mutual sharing of feelings is good!! :) Getting them to participate and share helps! If all goes well, you will soon be ready to share other things with them. And then… they too feel like they have someone they can share things with!