Love help: Healthy Break Up - Help.com

what kind of financial probs does he have that would mean he needs to break up with you???

i’ll make a proper reply later, but it is ok to let them know how you feel

no worries

Hey Romy22, I’m sorry about what happened. I just wanted to say that.
Well I don’t know about those online relationships, they appear to be once again that they never work. I hope you’ll have your first kiss soon, me too I always wanted my first kiss, but still didn’t get it :) That was what most touched my heart.Maybe because I dreamt of it so much lol
And Romy you are never stupid or naive, don’t think that way! You are only a good person in a world where good people don’t exist that much.
Well and about what to do, do what makes you feel better.
I hope you’ll feel better soon :)
Hugs!!

Thank you for the invite.

I am sorry about the break up but i also feel that FOR NOW it is the rightest thing to happen.

A man would always want to be the best that he can be for his girl. It does not mean that he does not care about you, but it expresses how much he wants to achieve in his life. And he thinks he could do more on what he wants to achieve if he is on his own. Most men could not focus on many things. That is one of the many differences of a man from a woman.

I suggest that you let him be. U can always try to tell him about the kisses and how much you would want to be with him more, but maybe that would only hurt him more because he could not do anything about it. A man would feel not so good when he thinks he could not do something to solve it for you. He thinks he is helpless. And having those kinds of feelings is such so difficult for a man.

Tell him you miss him and then GIVE HIM SPACE. He will really really thank you for that. When you give him space,he would think that you respect his privacy now that he is in a difficult situation.

Hang in there, it will be alright. :)

Anonymous wrote:
I had alot to say until you stated that it was a 10 month long online relationship and you had not yet met…Of course a relationship on this level shoud be able to break up easily…it can’t be that deep to begin with…good luck with the new real life guy…

I fear that a lot of people don’t understand how real an online relationship can be, especially with that long of time. Ive been in mine 7 months and I’ve felt, I’ve been through so much more emotionally then I ever had with my gf’s that were right here beside me, that I could touch. i don’t expect people to understand but please don’t make those kinda judgement calls without nderstanding.

Tell him romy, tell him because you’ll lose your chance. I don’t know how you can love him and not wanna be together but surpressing these feelings isnt going to help, he needs to know.

That is good news. :) i will meet mine too before September. :)

I wish you all the best too Romy! :) And i agree with Snar with the connection thing. Long distance or not, there are always problems along the way.

But some things are meant to be. :)

:) 10 months is amazing! I congratulate myself on 7mo admittedly XD. GOod choice, with the trying to convince him then just tryin to take it from there. You are a strong person and I agree, meeting you and lilies… its always a nice feeling to meet otehrs you noe? Somedays you let the people get you down and you really do believe ur crazy for this online thing. But otehr people really do understand and, its good to noe :) it really is.

~lilies~ wrote:
That is good news. :) i will meet mine too before September. :)

Im meeting my lovely in august :D.

Oh wow.. and all at around the same time, end of summer / mid summer. Crazy! o.o!

Romy22 wrote:
Im 22 hes 34 yes it is an online relationship. We’ve been goin on for 10 months.

my thoughts on this is….
for one.. long distance relationships are very hard.. even if you have known each other in real life for years… for another.. it is ok for you to tell him how you feel, however.. you might not get back what you give.. because of him trying to let you down softly.. im glad that you guys are able to be friends.. that is wonderful. i have to say that im glad that he is being a man about this whole thing.. that is great.. something that most guys cant do.. and who knows.. keep it as a friendship and see where things go down the road..

you are welcome hun.. keep your chin up…
.
.
well.. im going to be heading off to bed now… its going on 2 30 am… got to be up at 6.. ugh… but i will be back later… many hugs..

Obviously, both of you are in love but this kind of circumstances are causing problems. I dont want to blame the guy cuz of the little problem his having i mean his financial inbouyancy. It is now left for you to go to him probabaly you can be of help to all his predicaments. You should try to get things going on since you are in love.

I’m a lil late, but yeah, everyone said what I was thinking. Keep talking. He’s a good friend if nothing else, and if you guys care about each other, and can still make one another smile, you both should know it.

And on a side note…why does his financial standing have anything to do with the relationship? Does he send you money?

However, what I think needs to happen is that you 2 need to meet up…and soon. Even if it’s just as friends. Relationships are strengthened by experiences, and if you’re both willing, you both need to experience some things together. That’s my 2 cents I guess….break-ups always confuse me though.

Hmmm well have you told him yet like u were gunna, that u still had feelings for him? I think if u go out there.. jeese.. *scratches head* it really all depends on what happens between now and then doesnt it? I wouldnt worry to much at this stage.

:/ I just dont understand why he wuld want to break up with u, if you love eachother still AND u are comin to see him soon. Maybe give him a few days and then think out all the reasons why u think u shuld both stay and talk to him about it, relaly talk to him. I dont know, you don’t wanna push him away before you get to meet him… on the other hadn you dont want to lose him. I say give him some time, hes obviously struggling with SOMETHIGN rite now.

((btw I shouted u back))

:( Im sorry to hear that, itd mustve been hard for u to hear him say that and watch him go down this path. I dunno what u can do but maybe show him in some way other then worids how much u love him and need him in ur life, and that he REALLY IS good enuf for u and what you want. Is there anything you could do maybe? I dunno, I know I’d either write some poetry or a song or maybe just a heart-felt letter or email or even recorded video.

:( I feel so awful but I cant tonite, i have a 10 page report due tomm and I gotta get up in 6 hours, ive barely started. If I have time tomm Ill try and help you alrite? :( im really sorry. Im only on here to break inbetween studyin for my exam (also have an exam tomm).

*smiles* thanks, yer really sweet. When I got your shout it made me real happy, I’m hoping the best for you too and altho I dont pray what I do is think good thoughts and hope and ill be sendin em yer way.

Yeah :) np, Ill try my best and make some time to help you out tomm. I do have another busy day but you’ve been really kinda and I want to take the time to give u a hand.

I’ve gotta go now or else i wont finish in time, cya later!

Hiya..
I don’t really know what to suggest as every break up is different and happens for different reasons.
You know him and he knows you, you should think about what you want and tell him, if you leave it too long then you may regret never saying anything.
I would suggest maybe sending him this post but change it a little so it is aimed at him and not us, just tell him how you feel and that you don’t expect everything..
If he is insecure about the disstance then maybe all he needs is for you to tell him more often how you feel, with it being online you can’t go from body language of facial epressions to see how someone is feeling you have to go from words on a screen so you have to be more direct.
Just let him know, just because you have broke u does not mean you can’t still have feelings for him.

First advice would be not to make any long-term plans before you meet. Until you see him in the flesh, there’s always a possibility that feelings are illusory.
Secondly, if you broke up and you’re still in love with him, don’t stay friends cause he might get another girlfriend and you’ll get hurt.
Third, I think you should really try to make him change his mind about break up yet, say that it’s important decision and since you’ll meet very soon, you can discuss everything then.
About kiss, it’s just fine to tell.
But actually, you can’t know how much can you really trust him just like that. You need to see his life, where he lives, meet his relatives and friends, in order to figure out what kind of person he really is and to see if everything he says about himself to you is really true. That is very important cause online relationships are not safe.

snar is the best…. :) … i am hoping that everything works out for you hun..

Ok so Ive got a small window of spare time, how about you tell me what you want to tell him and ill help you write it :), I dont want to rite it for u cus that doesnt feel rite but ill help u as much as I can.

i really like to help you but i have nvr been in love before.sorry romy

From the sounds of it, he may be battling with quite a bit of depression… I can recognise some of the symptoms from what you have here…

The big problem with depression is the push/pull factor. As much as he may push you away, it’s the last thing he wants. The pain of depression is that you feel yourself slipping down that bleak pit, and every time you grab a handhold it caves, and at times it feels like you’re battling your own mind.

Again, I don’t know the full story, and I won’t pretend to. The problem is, even if he dosen’t show it, the love is still there, hidden under a mask of depression… the best thing to do is let him know that you will not abandon him, because at the moment, he probably feels that it’s him against the world…

at the moment, I’m battling this disorder to, and it helps, even if you can’t show it, to know someone’s at the end of that black tunnel, with a flashlight trying to guide you out.

I wish you the best of luck…

first off how did you know my name? lol and well.. recently.. i had my heart broken destroyed and incinerated by the girl of my dreams that i loved and wanted to be with.. currently.. after 7 months of recovery.. i’ve fallen for a girl who lives far away my point to be made.. if its love.. then not even finanical reasons should be an issue.. if its love.. then talking online he cant just say i have finacial problems and avoid you.. to want to kiss the one you love.. isn’t bad.. it can be a curse to go every day craving that one kiss with that person.. you just got to do what you can .. and try to get it to work.. you can only support him so much.. he has to do it him self.. show him the door he has to walk through it

its a metaphor meaning.. you can tell him what to do.. to help him self.. but he has to do it … other wise nothing will be done.. and its ok :P

Hope u r coping with this well.