Year help: i need help with my mom. - Help.com

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you need to get help for her and for you. it is the only way.

I could be wrong but it sounds like the fits are her bipolar. does she take meds for that?

she takes alota meds they dont help. n her docs wont perscribe her anything else cuz she smokes.

I thing your going a great service for your mom!! but I also think that you are also helping her the best you can. any more help would have to come from someone else other then yourself. with all her illnesses she is most likely upset with her situation. is there anymore you can tell me about her?

I meant I think your going a great service to your mom!

shes like the black sheep of da family. she has 3 bros, one owns a car dealership, one is a firefighter and one is a mayor and she gets disability and they all make fun of her, no one can deal with her probs and get mad and embarressed when she yalks about them

you r to young to have to look after your with all her illnesses. you should be out enjoying yourself. there is lots of help out there just pick up the phone and make that call.

brothers do that some times. but i’m sure it hurts her. is your dad in the picture that he helps with her?

rebeccalynn16 wrote:
brothers do that some times. but i’m sure it hurts her. is your dad in the picture that he helps with her?

yeah right, he divorced her when i as 12. hes an a**. she got remarried.
to a lazy unemployed dead beat who uses her for her money, and leaves her all the time for days then comes back

freddieboy wrote:
you r to young to have to look after your with all her illnesses. you should be out enjoying yourself. there is lots of help out there just pick up the phone and make that call.

family comes first to me, before fun,

freddieboy wrote:
you r to young to have to look after your with all her illnesses. you should be out enjoying yourself. there is lots of help out there just pick up the phone and make that call.

freddie’s right you shouldn’t have to have this responsabilty. I know how this goes my mom is disabled to, she is blind and can hardly walk and is a dayalsis patient. to this day I always looked up to my baby sister who always took care of my mom. but she would wake her up in the middle of the night and every thing. she wouldn’t care if my sister had homework or if it was a school night My mom’s needs were always first. (we all took care of mom) but patti never hated takeing care of her. I always wished I could be more like her!! as for your mom I really don’t think there is any more your could do for her. your already doing so much. and there is nothing that will just fix her issues. her fits and anger are mostlikely caused by a life of illness. and I can understand what that is like.

I think you’ve got too much on you, kid. Sooner or later, it’s going to really get you down. You need some H-E-L-P!!! Make an appointment with her doctor to see what kind of help is available . . . mental health counseling, visiting nurses, etc. This will break you if you keep trying to do it alone. You need to kick your uncles dead in the rear end and tell them you need their help! It may be that your mother may have to go to a nursing home. I know it’s hard, kid. But it doesn’t sound like you have any life of your own, and your mother’s illnesses prevent her from knowing just how much all of this is bringing you down. So, get some help, and get it pronto! And do something for yourself! I commend you for your devotion, which is indeed rare these days, but realize that when your mother gets to the point where she needs 24/7 custodial care, you will not be able to provide that. Again, get help! If your mother is on a disability, there may be more services she can use that will take the burden off you. Also, if you have to roost on your uncles’ desks until they do something, then roost! Don’t take “no” for an answer!

to begin with you are an amazing person to be handling this alone.

there are no magic answers to your situation.

all of these replies have something to offer.

as a teen i went thru a similar situation.

lets look at some important possibilities.

-all situations in life good or bad are very temporary including our time here on earth and time with our loved ones. there will come a day when you will not have your loved one to spend time with and you will wish she were her. so try to look at this time together as a gift.

-when she is rude and demanding of you please do not take it personal she is very uncomfortable and pretty helpless and is very unhappy with herself and her life, not you ,deep down, i promise you she loves and thinks of you more than anything or anybody in this world infact you my friend are her world.

how can you improve your life

- you do need some time to yourself, i would call the salvation army, the red cross or hospice they can possibly lead you to volunteers to help caretake to get you a break.

-with the right perspective and attitude you are in a situation you will learn so much from, already you should be very proud of yourself just for being a giving and selfless person. try to find the good in all situations , think positive, act positive , be loving and compassionate, give your mother and life your best and you will get lifes best. by being a positive you , the attitutes around you will begin to change for the better including your mothers. i have seen what the correct attitude does to illnesses.
you have the heart of a champion and wish you the best.
god bless, coach
i believe international.com

chev.jame wrote:
I think you’ve got too much on you, kid. Sooner or later, it’s going to really get you down. You need some H-E-L-P!!! Make an appointment with her doctor to see what kind of help is available . . . mental health counseling, visiting nurses, etc. This will break you if you keep trying to do it alone. You need to kick your uncles dead in the rear end and tell them you need their help! It may be that your mother may have to go to a nursing home. I know it’s hard, kid. But it doesn’t sound like you have any life of your own, and your mother’s illnesses prevent her from knowing just how much all of this is bringing you down. So, get some help, and get it pronto! And do something for yourself! I commend you for your devotion, which is indeed rare these days, but realize that when your mother gets to the point where she needs 24/7 custodial care, you will not be able to provide that. Again, get help! If your mother is on a disability, there may be more services she can use that will take the burden off you. Also, if you have to roost on your uncles’ desks until they do something, then roost! Don’t take “no” for an answer!

I agree you cannot do this on your own. My mother has damentia we went through her doctor for help. Could your mom also have some dementia? Start with her dr My mother is on medication now and stable at the moment. Its not easy trying to mother your mother. You don’t need to do it alone. If you can’t get your mother to the doctor you could have her sent to the ER in an ambulance.
Hope things get better soon.

You are a wonderful angel in your mothers life, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. I have been a care-giver for many years and what you are experiencing is not easy and, unfortunatly, to common. With all of your mothers issues it is difficult , at best, to come up with a viable solution that would make you both happy. She is overwhlemed by her situation and does not have the copoing mechanisms to deal with it. Because you are her daughter she may feel more comfortable being aggressive in her behavior. You need help in setting boundries or this could turn out to be a disaster for you both. If her doctor is unwilling to reassess her “pharmacy diet” than you should run, not walk, to another doctor that will not be judging her smoking habits but will be helping you and her gain a suitable lving environment and will address her mental health and med situation. Contact as many agencies as you can about respite care so that you can get a break and some counseling for yourself so that you can have a better understanding of the situation and how to deal with both your needs. Your mom apparently has some mental health issues which brings on inappropriate behaviors. Do not take suicide threats lightly with someone who is depressed and bi-polar. Get Help Now. It is out there but you need to take the initiative. Do not rely on your mother to join you in this. She is unable to make the correct decisions for herself and is not able to see outside of her own world and grasp the impact this is having on you. Do not expect the uncles to step in. If they cared they would have by now. This situation would be overwhelming for anyone and you should not have to take on this burden alone. You are doing an amazing thing by being there for your mom and you will be grateful that you did. That does not mean that you have to do this alone. You might have to start with your local health dept. and they will direct you to the correct agencies that can offer you the assistance that you need. Do not let the situation escalate to the point that she creates an environment that is dangerous to herself or you. You need to keep control of this situation and you can not, nor are you expected, to do that alone. This is not simply an elderly mom who needs some help. You are dealing with some serious physical and mental health issues here and you need to get her better help (as far as Dr. care and agency assistance) and you some peace of mind. Best of luck and bless you for being a kind and gentle soul for you mom.

I am the daughter of a woman(72) who has a Brain Tumor. She was only given 3 years to live and has made it 6+ years. We have been blessed, but she also has IBS and I swear she seems like it is worse than the tumor. She is recently talking about killing herself and bad mouthing me and I do MOST of any one in my family to help her. Nothing is ever good for her either………..She is on Lexapro(depression meds). She did take 20 mgs and now she takes 10. I wish I could tell you this will solve it, but it doesn’t. She has good and bad days and my best times are when I am at work. My advice is if U have other family, get together and talk. Get a sitter, if you stay with her all the time and she can’t get out and if you can’t afford it, and have family, combine money to pay for it(that is what we do). Pray a lot! If you have a Church family(even if it is by letter), let them know you need their help. Take your Mom to a doctor she could talk with about her feelings. Most of all make time for yourself…………………! Bless You!