Family help: Friction between sisters. - Help.com



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Friction between sisters.

Several months ago our father died. My sister has been very ‘efficient’ working at handling the estate, but she’s had a real snarky attitude with me if things don’t go the way she’d like. I took a short while to be able to sign the papers to sell my dad’s house. It upset me terribly to finally take that step, but I didn’t want to hold anything up either, as I know it had to get sold. I’ve seen parts of her personality surface that make me wonder where the heck this is coming from. I used to always be envious of her. She seemed to have made the ‘perfect’ marriage choice, still married after many years. She has a lovely home and often hosted family dinners, etc. I, on the other hand, am divorced, and am an awful housekeeper. I have a learning disability that hinders me in a number of ways that are really frustrating. What I can’t get over is the way she is trying to control things with my father’s estate, and is very short-tempered with me. I thought this might be due to her grief, but now I’m thinking that it might be due to her being jealous of me. I was the ‘baby’ of the family and I think my father’s favorite, even though she did everything ‘perfectly’. I am the one that seems to be having the toughest time with my father’s passing. I’ve been reliable, cooperative, etc. with settling matters, but I’m having a hard time understanding where her crabby attitude towards me is coming from. Any thoughts very much appreciated.

This open post was written 4 months ago | V/U/S: 123, 5, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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death, marriage, number, Cooperative, divorce, disability, Family, house, hand, Take That, jealousy between sisters (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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SoulRising offline Verified User (4 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 268 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months ago (1 hour, 51 minutes after post)

She might be having a hard time settling the estate, it is a tough job and she might be looking @ you as the baby of the family (pest, something else she has to take care of). You might try asking her if she needs any help? Try “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

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cavy_have offline Verified User (4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months ago (8 hours, 1 minute after post)

Oh yes, I’ve taken my share of things to do; as well, one of my 2 brothers has pitched in and helped. Our 1 brother with problems who hasn’t involved himself at all, she cuts him endless slack. Me, I get attitude, probably because I’m very sensitive and don’t fight back. She has just retired and I’m just starting a career, having made it through a very difficult course during all this upheaval. I’ve spent many hours cleaning out my dad’s place, taking all his clothes & shoes for donation, etc., etc. I was asked to choose his burial suit, and I prepared the eulogy. There were times that I broke down before I could even get to his house, times where I had to leave class (yes I am getting counselling). I’m very taken aback at her lack of understanding. I’m doing the best I can to get through all this. I even went with my dad for his CT scan, and all the radiation treatments, missing class & staying with friends so I could be there for him. As hard as it was, I have no regrets as I know it was so important for him. My sister ‘barked’ at me to move some things I was taking, so that the floors in the house could get redone to show the house for sale. Bear in mind, she has a helpful husband who does practically everything. I have to travel one hour to get there, I also have 2 kids at home, 1 of which is special needs. I’m just saying that I’m doing my best as I can manage, have been reliable and cooperative. I just don’t understand where her attitude is coming from. Thanks for your input - it’s great appreciated.

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SoulRising offline Verified User (4 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 268 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months ago (9 hours, 7 minutes after post)

She is grieving just like you are. We all grieve in different ways. I wouldn’t hold anything she does right now against her, when this is over you will be glad you held your tongue.

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Anonymous #
4 months ago (23 hours, 31 minutes after post)

Thank you so much for writing. I’m going to hold my tongue, yet stand my ground on a couple issues. I’ll look to myself to see if I handled myself well, then will do my best to let my sister’s comments roll off me. I’m just guarded around her now. Guess she must need an outlet or something.

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SoulRising offline Verified User (4 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 268 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months ago (1 day after post)

I’m glad I could help:)

I’m sorry you lost your father.

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