life help: My fiance left me four days ago. - Help.com

My advice to you is, if she does try to come back to you, don’t take her back. You can find someone who will treat you a lot better.

Of course it’s understandable you would feel angry about this. I agree with jcd… I know the temptation to go back would be huge, because you still have feelings… but she’s not worth it. You can do better, and find someone who truly appreciates you. Apparently she just didn’t have what it takes to truly be committed to you and she’s not quite finished with her last ex yet.

It sounds like she is pulling something shady. I wouldn’t take her back after all this because she was getting ready to marry you and suddenly felt “no connection?”
That sounds like outright B.S. to me, and I would be very angry too.

I understand why you are angry. Try to be grateful that you aren’t married:) Do you think she is giving you the short answer?

Don’t take her back! Why would you want sloppy seconds? Good riddance! Just think that you got the milk for free for a while without having to buy the cow! I would be celebrating. Now it give you a chance to really find someone who actually cares for you. What a **** to do that to you!

Why would you want her back? You have experienced a betrayal. But, yes, it is better than having married her and then find out she is sleeping with her former boyfriend. The anger is normal. The simple conclusion is that this was not the woman for you. Her “love” for you is absolutely and totally meaningless in that she could not remain loyal to you. You have, my friend, dodged a bullet. You could have had your life ruined. If you take her back, she will simply finish what she started. She is not a person who honors her word, or who can be trusted. Take her back, and you will truly know what pain is.

I have a good friend who always says, “Premarital divorces are the best kind.”

Your get the point: Although you are sad now, and undoubtedly feeling very derailed by this sudden turn in events, you got off easy compared to what it WOULD have been like to have this happen a year or two down the road.

Five gets you one that she betrays her former boyfriend at some point down the road, also. Some people simply cannot honor a commitment. Some people are always looking for the better deal. Some people can be seduced with just a little attention. I think your former fiance had character issues. If you will sit down and just replay some of the past events in your mind, you will probably find many indications that she had never really committed to you. So, what’s next? Go to the theater and see two or three movies in a row. Do something you really like doing. Check out the new cars. Prepare for your next promotion! Have a beer with your buddies. Talk to some other women . . . but do NOT harp on your former fiance, soldier! Tomorrow is a new day. The future holds good things for you! You ARE in charge of your destiny, and you can make your life into whatever you want. You need to know that literally millions of good men and women were hurt by people they loved. You are not the first, and you will not be the last. Look around these posts and you’ll see what I mean. Just be glad that the damage wasn’t great, and be very, very careful next time! There ARE good women out there, and a lot of them are in uniform. Your mission, soldier, is to find the one for you!

I feel that do not think about the reasons behind what has happend and what can be the future senarios..
Take the current situation and try to find out the solution on the same…insted of doing investigation abt the reasons beind….
I can understand how you must be feeling… coz my own relationship is on the border line…

my Fience left me 12 hours ago and im soo upset she says she loves me and just needs time for her self “Re-Group” as she calls it & not only that but last night she talked with an old “Friend with benefits” insted of talking with me this really sucks iv done nothing but be the best aunist boyfriend i could be she is 20 im 22 i dunno if age has anything to do with it i dunno i need to get over it but im soo sick so sad so alone! any help out there?

if u have an answer i liv ein southern California, “Ventura County” my Email is: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i> make the subject line: “Fience”

Try not to worry too much just yet…. she’s probably got a little case of cold feet. Best advice is to let her take the time she needs. It’s important that she feels sure about what she’s planning, so let her have her space and see what conclusions she comes to. Maybe she just needs to talk with someone who’s unbiased about the whole thing. I doubt it’s anything you did, but perhaps it all becomes a little scary to someone who’s 20 years old, wondering if they’re really ready to do this, etc. I think she’ll find her way back to you… hang in there and just let her work it out in her mind, like she said.

I can understand your situation, as i am going through the similar problem, and my engagement as well is on the verge of coming to an end, as is not able to feel a connection, however he do not have any past affair….

If you feel that if she comes back to you, you will take her in your lfe.. is it really worth it dear?
1 fine day she said lets call it of, you agreed, then she would say i want you back, now you will agree again… is this the way it is gonabe?
Its a long term commitment, and both the partners have to take 50-50% responcibility.. you cannot take 100% respocibility even if you wish too!

Regards
Anju.

My fiance left me three weeks ago saying there was no passion, no spark in our relationship. Apparently there never was either. I think back and can spot times when she was off flirting with others,even used to have a male friend round when i was out that i never met, etc. The best line was that I was always there for here, she never had worries that I’d leave. I really think sometimes that its my fault, maybe I’m just too easy going, but thats who I am, I can’t change.

Only trouble is we were best friends, had built a bond, or so i thought. We used to make each other laugh so much and people noticed that. I so miss her, waking up in the mornings hardest thinking about the lonely day ahead. We’d only bought our “family” home two months previous and a week before she called it off she’d been out buying bridesmaids dresses, and the same weekend we even got a car together. Very confused how we seperated so suddenly and she wont give me answers. I’m still constantly thinking of her, even thinking about her with other men which is doing my head in, but in the long term I’m kind of glad I’m not marrying her because I now think she is a nutter!

I have tried to make myself busy with friends and have even joined the gym which is not like me. It’ll take me ages to get over her and, for a bloke, I’ve never cried so much in my life! Once house is gone (which I’m having to live in alone in her neck of the woods - i moved job and life to be with her) I’m going travelling, far far away on my own. Just to find myself. It’ll take time, but sod her, I’ll get there! you will too. Can you tell i’m having a positive moment?!

Wow, shed…. yes, I’m sure it’s just mind blowing to have all these plans in the works and then she just turns away suddenly. You are coping very well… good for you!! Not fair that she won’t give you answers either… you certainly deserve them. I know that makes it so much harder… just trying to figure it all out… but it is what it is. Yes, you are better off that you found out now… and it will take time, but your attitude is great!! Hang in there. You will move on to something better in time!! Sounds like you’re doing all the right things for yourself!

Hello Cattail, no sooner had I tried to be positive then I came falling back down! This will take time. I found myself getting upset yesterday in this empty house and then today at work I failed dismally and emailed to ask if she was seeing anyone else yet. I know she wouldnt admit to it, but I feel like I need to know so that I can feel the full wrath of the pain now. Like I suggested, she said she wasn’t but she also added that when she does start ’seeing someone’ I will be one of the first people she tells. I didnt know if that was good or bad, but now it also feels like the agony has been prolonged!

I really want to know how it happened. I trust her when she said nothing physical happened with anyone, but what about mentally, was she getting flirtatious emails from someone, was someone at work coming on strong with her and she liked it!?! I just feel like I need to know. I want to tell her I cant forgive her until she gives me something other than she just had time to think about the situation. I just had no idea it was coming!!!

Sorry. So much for me being positive! Must try harder.

Shed2 . . . don’t “trust” too much. You have to look at deeds, not words. If she’s going out with an “old flame,” and she just told you that there was no “passion” in your relationship, you can put two and two together.

Let her go, and find a woman who knows what she wants. It isn’t that hard, but you sometimes have to go through that 30 percent who would make a worthless spouse (male and female alike).

Shed, how are you doing now? I’m sorry, I was away from this place for quite awhile. I can certainly understand all the questions you have in your mind, and wanting some answers to find closure. It’s hard to accept that sometimes there just aren’t any for us… but perhaps in time it will all start to make sense. I hope you have been able to move on either which way.

She is s not worth it. You are far better than that xx