friends help: My biggest problems and what I need help with: - Help.com

cdog2160
offline Verified (9 months, 3 weeks) Visit cdog2160's shoutbox
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My biggest problems and what I need help with:

I’m afraid to make friends, whenever I want to talk to someone I distance myself from them, and when they start talking to me I start questioning their sincerity and wonder if it’s even worth their time if they’re actually being sincere, or if I could actually say anything to make us friends.

Thoughts of what other people say to me consume me, I feel so limited and powerless to what seems to be the inevitable consequences of my inherit inability to be liked by others.

I’m a 9th grader, who for the first time in his academic life is getting C’s, D’s and his first failing grade in school and doesn’t know if he’ll get better or get around to doing his homework again, study or be able to meet the challenges of academic vigor.

I feel like my future is limited every day, that each day that is spent without a cause contributes to the narrowing of my potential, the distance I can gain in my lifetime and pushes me away from finding my well- being.

To me I feel like these are my biggest problems. I know my problems aren’t nearly as serious as many others, and it would be spoiled for me to think that what I’m dealing with is ‘difficult’ or ‘harder than other’s (problems)’, but I’ve tried talking to my parents, my school counseler, I have a psychiatrist and I take medication for anxiety, and I see no end in sight. I have trouble making goals and choosing which ones to follow, if anybody could suggest anything to help me in my time of need, I would appreciate it far beyond what I can articulate in my current situation.

This open post was written 2 months ago | V/U/S: 136, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post cdog2160 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. cdog2160 is a verified member, has been around for 9 months, 3 weeks and has 86 posts and 319 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

friends, Psychiatry, academia, Situationist, life, school, Medication, anxiety, homework, Distance (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (2)

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eyesyggdraselos offline Verified User (1 year, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Easton, CT, US | 2 months ago (11 minutes after post)

I feel quite the same as you do at times. I wish there was a quick fix for this, but unfortunately there isn’t. All you can do is be patient with yourself and stop feeling spoiled. True, anxiety affects a lot of people and you certainly aren’t alone. But that doesn’t make you spoiled.
Keep accepting help and try to stay strong inside, even if it’s just a little bit each day. You’ll be able to make friends as your sense of self develops.
Perhaps you are just waiting for some sort of epiphany to hit you. Just be patient with yourself, and good luck. And speaking of your grades, also remember that community college is still an option for transferring to even the best of the Ivy League. Some people just take more time to develop than others, but it doesn’t make them less worthy of living than any one else is, even an overachiever who seems to have a “perfect” life.

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Help me with: I’m dependent.
Opeth offline Verified User (3 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 21 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months ago (2 hours, 40 minutes after post)

“I’m afraid to make friends, whenever I want to talk to someone I distance myself from them, and when they start talking to me I start questioning their sincerity and wonder if it’s even worth their time if they’re actually being sincere, or if I could actually say anything to make us friends.”

That’s similar to the way I feel a lot of the time; I am very detached from a lot of people and hardly have connections to people. I don’t want to be close to anyone because it’s easier that way.

But I’ve learned over time that it’s about meeting the right people, and soon enough you will. You’re only 14 I’m guessing. I’ve learned to accept everyday that I don’t fit in with the people at my college, but I didn’t force myself to make friends with people that could potentially hurt me. I’m sure it’s your anxiety that causes your over-questioning (I’ve done it all my life), but you’ll find people who are ’sincere’ and you don’t have to worry about them.

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Help me with: Dealing with anxiety.

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